klmno
Active Member
I guess it depends on how you look at it. Feel free to tell me if you think I'm being too lax here... really, I'm trying to get a better foothold on that.
difficult child had an approved campout with his group Thurs night. He had a great time but got minimal sleep (which does effect him) and his depakote had to be given differently than normal (it has to be prescribed as twice a day instead of all of it in the morning or insurance won't pay for it). He came home hyper yesterday, which I expected, so I gave him the second depakote right away, figuring I could get him back on schedule this morning. I gave him dinner, he took a shower and he went to bed.
I woke him up this morning to give him medications- he took them then went back to sleep. He had an appointment to get an eye exam at 11:30. I went back to get him out of bed and he started to rage- a little. I told him that he had to go or he wouldn't have a new pair of glasses for this school year. I gave him another warning about 10 mins later. He got up about 20 mins. later- sorry- too late. He got angry and grabbed both my arms. I stayed calm and didn't get angry - I just said calmly that I was not going to take him now, he missed his appointment and this was no way to get anything he wanted. He looked at me like he knew he wanted to "go off" then he stopped himself and left the room.
He went to another room and hit a wall, not hard enough to put a hole in it. I went on about my business and then we left and ran errands. He was agitated all day but I could tell that he was trying to control it- I had told him that he would have to earn the money to pay the "no show" cost and he got upset for that. He wanted to earn money for spending on vacation. He started doing chores but then after I reminded him of this, he ranted a minute then went to the porch. He didn't slam a door or leave the yard or anything- he just sat on the porch about 2 mins. then came back in. He said he didn't mind doing work but he thought he should earn something. I said ok, well, you won't get the new glasses (natural consequence) and you have to pay back whatever I have to pay for being a "no show", but, I can take half your earned money per week so you pay it back that way. He said ok and proceeded to do his work.
This probably sounds so "coddling" to many- but for my difficult child, this is a major improvement day. I guess because when it was more than obvious that he was about to lose control, he walked away or stopped or told me what was bugging him and it never escalated into a dramatic crisis. To me, that was a success!! I'm sure all days won't be like this, but I hope I remeber this one when things are worse.
difficult child had an approved campout with his group Thurs night. He had a great time but got minimal sleep (which does effect him) and his depakote had to be given differently than normal (it has to be prescribed as twice a day instead of all of it in the morning or insurance won't pay for it). He came home hyper yesterday, which I expected, so I gave him the second depakote right away, figuring I could get him back on schedule this morning. I gave him dinner, he took a shower and he went to bed.
I woke him up this morning to give him medications- he took them then went back to sleep. He had an appointment to get an eye exam at 11:30. I went back to get him out of bed and he started to rage- a little. I told him that he had to go or he wouldn't have a new pair of glasses for this school year. I gave him another warning about 10 mins later. He got up about 20 mins. later- sorry- too late. He got angry and grabbed both my arms. I stayed calm and didn't get angry - I just said calmly that I was not going to take him now, he missed his appointment and this was no way to get anything he wanted. He looked at me like he knew he wanted to "go off" then he stopped himself and left the room.
He went to another room and hit a wall, not hard enough to put a hole in it. I went on about my business and then we left and ran errands. He was agitated all day but I could tell that he was trying to control it- I had told him that he would have to earn the money to pay the "no show" cost and he got upset for that. He wanted to earn money for spending on vacation. He started doing chores but then after I reminded him of this, he ranted a minute then went to the porch. He didn't slam a door or leave the yard or anything- he just sat on the porch about 2 mins. then came back in. He said he didn't mind doing work but he thought he should earn something. I said ok, well, you won't get the new glasses (natural consequence) and you have to pay back whatever I have to pay for being a "no show", but, I can take half your earned money per week so you pay it back that way. He said ok and proceeded to do his work.
This probably sounds so "coddling" to many- but for my difficult child, this is a major improvement day. I guess because when it was more than obvious that he was about to lose control, he walked away or stopped or told me what was bugging him and it never escalated into a dramatic crisis. To me, that was a success!! I'm sure all days won't be like this, but I hope I remeber this one when things are worse.