Got a call last night

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Aug 19, 2009.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    difficult child is in jail. Don't know the particulars---drugs, cops, dogs, friend's car, difficult child claimed, went to jail...One of his loser friends (the one who owns the car he was in) called to tell us and that the friend forgot to put difficult child's cell phone in the car and it was laying in the street in a nearby neighborhood. jana and I went and got the phone, did not go get difficult child----haven't talked to anyone today to know if he is out or not---
    I am beyond detached....
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    HUGS, EW. I'm so sorry. Here's hoping maturity comes soon.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh. Crossing fingers on board curse. Let us know more when you find out more.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    EW -

    This was not part of the back-to-school criteria. Sending hugs. And a really, really, ugly board auntie look. And some Pepto Bismol (I have some left from Dudes last debacle) - Update when you can. Angels to difficult child's side.

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think these things are just so much worse in small towns. At least in larger towns you dont have to go into the grocery store and have all the cashiers greet you with "Oh, so sorry about your son, I saw the cops putting him in the car last night." Then you go to fill up with gas and the attendant is also the local court clerk so she has already been filled in! LOL.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    The irony of the whole situation is yesterday evening I went to a town hall/police and community meeting. I was one of 5 people who showed up from my area of town----
    I asked several questions---one dealing with the training the recieved on dealing with the mentally ill----the other about the idea of drug court....Can't help but laugh out loud!!!!
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Were you there while difficult child was getting his buttocks locked up? Oh what irony that would be!

    Oh councilman, we need more training of police officers on mental illness that? Oh for cripes sake...hold on...difficult child? What in heavens name have you done now?

    Folks I will be right back.
  8. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Sorry to hear this EW. I hope you've gotten some information through the day. Sending hugs and support.
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    EW, I think after awhile our bodies and souls go into a third dimension when we get that kind of news. Maybe it's shock; it's certainly a *fog.* We call it "detachment" but it's more than that and it's what got me through the worst of times with Rob.

    I'm sorry that difficult child is making bad decisions again.


  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You know something - In 1982 - I saw that movie THE FOG. Suz is right! difficult child's = unpredictable, move like the wind, hang kinda heavy, can't see anything clearly, and when they leave it's always a surprise as to whats left.
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So sorry he still is doing his thing. Detaching is good especially when they refuse to change. -RM
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Cripes. So sorry EW. Sending hugs and I'll hope for the best....whatever it may be in this particular situation. Go sit on the beach and watch the ocean to relax a bit. Hmmm....wait a sec....I'll be right there and go with you!
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    EW -

    Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and your son last night and sent an extra angel for you both!

    Hope there is some clarity and peace for you both this morning. Hugs
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too am sorry that your son is making bad decisions and it of course, this tends to cause stress for all of those around him.
    Please do what you can to detach and take care of YOU.
    Sending hugs and good thoughts.
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Glad you're holdin it together well, ew. You're a better woman than I!

    Thinking of you.
  16. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I know that it still hurts no matter how much we detach from the situation. Sending a big, understanding hug!

  17. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, EW. Sending hugs.
  18. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Star, I was referring to "fog" as a state of my/EW's mind, not difficult child behaviors.

    EW, you weren't far from my thoughts today.

    Last edited: Aug 20, 2009
  19. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks ladies. He is ashamed of himself for allowing this to happen---that's good. He had no drugs on him (it had been smoked by then) and the cops found an empty corner of a baggie and some rolling papers. husband called our friend the bailbondsman who paid the $110 dollar bond and some of difficult child's buddies picked him up from jail. I have not seen him this week, but he has called on the phone a few times to check and make sure I'm okay. He made it out in time to get to work the next day---he was worried about his job. That's also good. Today he has been obsessed over the phone---it was damaged after the arrest when his friends and the cops didn't remove it from on top of the car!
    Anyway---he will have court in a few weeks. The friend he was with has a father who is an attorney (and our former mayor) and he will represent difficult child in court pro bono. So, difficult child is handling this by himself like an adult---except for the cell phone obsession which hasn't been too bad.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So what, misdemeanor possession of paraphernalia? They locked him up for that? Thats a ticket here.