Having a Really Bad Couple of Months

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Jul 3, 2019.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry I haven't been around much. The last few months have been a bit of a challenge. This month is the most horrid we have ever had.

    The kids are all doing great, thankfully! Even the diabetic cat is doing okay.

    Hubby is NOT. In the last month he went from 10-15K steps a day to suddenly only 2-3K steps a day. In the last few days? He can barely walk. But he has 3 major problems going on.

    Yesterday we went to the Cardiologist for results of testing. He has a shadow on his heart. They are not sure if it is a false positive or a real positive. So they are going in next Wed with a catheter. If it is something, he will get it fixed. If it isn't, hopefully that is good.

    On the way out of the office, he only got about 20 feet before he couldn't walk any more. I had to get a wheelchair for him. 2 nurses from the doctor's office walked us over to the ER. He has a problem with disks in his lower back. We get an MRI for that this Friday.

    Later in the day yesterday, he had to have an ultrasound of a lump in his neck. The results were most likely bad. We get a CT scan of that next Fri.

    Amid all of this, we have to move at the end of this month. I am unable to work due to health issues. Hubby is only working part time because there was a financial shake-up where he works (public radio). We think we have found a place, have to try to get that done on Friday (application, etc...)

    Please keep good thoughts for us. I just about lost it after the doctor called this AM about the lump in hubby's neck. It is causing the fewest symptoms, but might be the absolute worst. I am the one who spoke with hubby's doctor and I downplayed the seriousness of what she said. He just couldn't handle knowing his doctor is worried that this is cancer.

    After all these years, we finally have the kids in good places. Then this. It may be enough to break me. I am praying that I can be strong enough to help him through this. Whatever this is.

    Thanks everyone.

    PS. Tyler got a 4.0 and is on the honor roll at the university!! He had a super heavy, math intensive semester, so this is HUGE! J got a great haircut and is not giving in to the drama at her work, and Wiz got a big promotion! So good things are here too. It is just hard to focus on them.
     
  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Dear Susie

    This is concerning, indeed. So much on one plate. So, so hard to have to move on top of all of this. *I am happy for you the kids are doing so well.

    I will hold good thoughts for you. Please keep us in the loop.

    Copa
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I don't blame you for being overwhelmed! Prayers for all you are going through now. Please keep us updated. Ksm
     
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Susie...so much on your plate! Hope all goes well with Hubby's appointments and that the move is an easy one. Many hugs and good thoughts going out.

    Great news about the kids!
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending up good thoughts and prayers.
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is really bad. We just got the heart procedure cancelled, along with the CT. The mri shows that he is losing bone marrow in his spine. They are going in to do a CT guided biopsy in his neck on Thurs morning. His doctor is SUPER conservative with pain medications. She called in a stronger pain medication and allowed him to double that stronger dose as needed. Plus she called in a fairly large amount, for her. She also said that "we have very good oncologists here in town".

    All that adds up to us being absolutely afraid. We are just trying to cope and not show hubby our fear. He was in too much pain to talk to the doctor, so I did. He knows the procedure has changed and that his bone marrow has a problem. He is in so much pain he just wants it to stop, whatever it is. I didn't go into the other details, but he is aware that it could be a super bad thing. He didn't want the other details just yet.

    This is just breaking my heart. Telling Wiz, Jess and thank you was the worst.
     
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry Susie for what you and your family are going through. I pray that husband has some relief from pain soon and that there comes soon some news that is reassuring.
     
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Very sorry to hear this.

    I hope your husband finds relief from his pain.

    Let us know how things turn out!

    I have two relatives that went to MD Anderson in Houston. It’s one of the best.
     
  9. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Very dear Susie, sending you love, and praying for your husband.

    Love, Esther
     
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I hope your husbands medication can keep him comfortable while they are deciding what the next step will be. Raging for peace and comfort for your family. Ksm
     
  11. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    <<<<Raging for peace and comfort for your family. Ksm>>>>

    Typo.. Praying...but it's ok to rage, too. Ksm
     
  12. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this Susie......sending love, peace and prayers for you and your family.......healing prayers for your husband. Let us know how you're doing.
     
  13. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    Prayers. Update us please!
     
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Thank you all! His biopsy is tomorrow morning. I have ZERO idea how to get him there. He cannot put weight on one leg due to the bone marrow stuff. He has injured him hamstring on the other leg by overcompensating. He also has a wrist that causes a lot of pain. We are afraid to even touch his legs. The pain is always there. The new pain medications really are not near enough.

    It is so hard to be on this side of the pain. I am far more used to being the one in pain.

    To top this all off, father in law and stepmother in law are being royal pains in the ass. It is all about how THEY feel and making sure the doctors will talk to them. It has been implied that we would not care for him properly. Grrrrrrrrrr. Like they even tell us when something is going on with them (like cancer treatments). We are not really in their family, in my opinion. My parents are AMAZING. Anything we want/need, any time. My mom even came to the ER when we had to call an ambulance for him. At midnight. Just to see if they could help him. To push if she thought they should do more.

    The kids are amazing. He has gone from picking up our daughter from work and running small errands to being unable to move or do much of anything in the last 12 days. It is just unreal. Now youngest sleeps with blankets on the floor if J or I are not out with himat night. We ALWAYS make sure someone is in the room. Even bathroom breaks are timed so that he is sleeping or someone else can be with him. They have stepped up to the plate completely. Wiz let us know he is available for help at ANY time. Wiz has also not come by to visit as often as he clearly wants to. He sees how hard this is on his dad. He is not giving himself the reassurance of time with his dad in order to make this as easy and stress reduced as possible. All 3 kids are people who I am so proud to have raised. It really shows at times like this.

    I am coping. If I really need to break down, I drive over to my parents for a while. I am trying to do what I can and to keep him calm. Of course he is having anxiety/panic attacks over this. A change in his antidepressant during all of this was not the best planning. Of course we didn't know about all of this, sooooo.

    Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. We desperately NEED them.
     
  15. ChickPea

    ChickPea Active Member

    Thinking of you...
     
  16. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    How are you doing, susiestar?

    How did the hospital visit go?
     
  17. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    We are thinking of you Susie.
     
  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Thinking of you and hubs right now, Susie. I'm too far away to help out physically, but if you need to vent to someone who's been through some of this and understands some of what you are going through, feel free to PM me. Sending strength and love to you and yours
     
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Thank you everyone. The hospital visit was AWFUL. We had to call an ambulance to get him out of the house. We have three really wonky steps to walk down at the front of the building. He was in such pain that he had a hard time standing. They don't charge, thankfully. They just wheeled him out in a chair that had tracks that rolled down the steps. It was awesome.

    The hospital has new wheelchairs and they are really hard to sit in for any length of time. It really hurts him to sit for long, and he was almost in tears while we were waiting. My inlaws were totally shocked. It meant a lot to them that we let them know and had them come up. They always think I am exaggerating until the see what is going on. You would think that 28 years of experience would change this, but it never has. They were so totally shocked by his appearance and how he was in so much pain.

    We got the news today. It is as bad or worse than we expected. It is not lung cancer, probably in the pancreas or upper GI tract. It is so bad his doctor was almost in tears while telling me this. It makes it harder for the doctor when you are friends outside of work, I think. She got us in to see an oncologist right away. We see the new doctor on Thursday after hours. Which is good because I have a doctor appointment out of town that morning. Mine is routine.

    They were able to call stronger pain medicine in. It is a 12 hour medicine, so he will start it in a couple of hours. I pray it works and he is more able to feel like himself. I also hope they can do something to remove some of the areas with cancer (we know of 2, but the doctor suspected others). All in all, it is pretty scary so far. More answers always makes me feel better. So far we don't know what to do other than the pain medications.

    Again, thank you ALL for being here for me. It means so much.
     
  20. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Oh Susie. I pray that husband gets relief from the stronger pain medicine and there is soon clarity about what's going on so that treatment can begin, and that a gentle path through this for him and the family opens.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019