He is drunk when I talk to him at night.

[BusynMember]

Being a non-drinker, I can only tell when somebody is drunk if they are giggling or slurring their words. Tonight talking to him on the phone he told me felt calm and colleced for once and it "isn't the alcohol. I've had more."

I wonder how often he's drunk when I talk to him.

 

[scent of cedar]

I'm sorry, Midwest.

On the other hand, he wants and needs to talk to you.

He loves you, and he's listening.

That is a good thing.

Barbara

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks. I got a lot of good advice at group therapy last week that has really helped me calm down and just listen. I hear the pain. I feel for it. But I've always been rather anti-alcohol, especially when used in place of prescribed medication.

Still...I can't tell him what to do.

 

[susiestar]

I am glad the group therapy is helping. He is likely drunk much of the time when you talk to him. I hope and pray that he gets the help he needs at some point, be that medications, therapy, rehab, sober living house, commune, or whatever can help him have a happy and productive functional life.

You are doing a great job of navigating this situation.

 

[DammitJanet]

I would honestly not worry too much about if he is drinking Pam. I doubt he is actually becoming a full blown alcoholic because he wouldnt be able to carry on with his job. This is probably his way of dealing with the stress he is under. If he was drinking that much he wouldnt be able to be a good dad with J. He just wouldnt.

If you dont want to talk to him when he is drunk, dont. Have excuses ready. We have a whole list in the archives of things you can use. You can have someone at the door, a cake in the oven, your phone can be going dead, someone can be clicking in and it is very important....I tend to use a doctor calling and I cant miss that call...lol. Heck you can say the washer is overflowing! Or the dog is throwing up or about to potty on the floor...lol.