Hello Again

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by TYLERFAN, Oct 11, 2008.


    TYLERFAN New Member

    Hi Family:

    I haven't been here in a looong time. I wanted to come by here so many times. Life is chaotic, but good.
    Baby J is almost 2 1/2 and is the most wonderful thing that has happened to husband and I. husband is such a great dad:bravo:Baby J is smart and happy and well adjusted. We take him everywhere and his disposition is amazing!

    I finally got a job that I love:abouttime:I work with disabled kids and it is fascinating. I finally got medical insurance and we have plenty of time off as it is a school.:woohoo:

    difficult child on the other hand is a disaster. She was living 9 hours from us for 3 months. Got herself an apartment and a job. She gave it all up and came back here as she "didn't like it there" and now is homeless living in Grandmonsters trailer in her driveway. (She is sanctioned from getting welfare till November):crazy2:
    And... drum roll...........She is Pregnant Again!!!!:holymoly:She is keeping the baby. She is not looking for work and has not complied with one thing she legally agreed to do. husband and I are at the point where we are going to suspend all contact with her. husband, Bless his heart, has become a father to Baby J, beyond compare!!:bravo:
    I want to tell you that this is killing me, I was fine till this new pregnancy. Now, I am on the precipice of deciding I will not be in the new baby's life, it will just be too hard. I won't be able to take this child, if difficult child screws up and we all know what the chances of that are!:hypnosis:

    I will be here reading and trying to catch up. I miss you all. I have been so busy and crazy between work and family and household chores........Everytime I wanted to come here, something took my attention away. I think about you guys every day.

    I still need to be here. There was a quiet period this first year of my marraige and it was wonderful.

    Blessings to all,
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    It is good to see you. Glad that baby J is doing well and thriving in your care. And I'm ecstatic the new marriage has been good for you---I remember how happy you were when you first described him.

    As for difficult child, practice detachment. It's hard to think of a grandchild that way, but unless you are willing to take and raise many more, you have to detach now. As long as you keep cleaning up her messes, difficult child will continue to make them.

    Hugs---and happy to hear about the new job. It sounds like the right fit.
  3. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Melissa, what good news on your home front :)

    But sorry to hear difficult child tanking again. I hope she is off the drugs since she is pregnant.

  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yikes. been there done that. That was the hardest time for us when GFGmom got pg for the 2nd time. The 3rd time was even more traumatic.

    I don't know what to advise. We thought we could protect easy child/difficult child and keep him a beautiful, happy successful boy....it was difficult but for his first twelve/thirteen years we were able to do so. Make sure you have all your legal rights protected, try to live a separate life and pray like mad.

    GFGmom's are the ultimate in selfish beings. They want to "play Mommy"
    "show off their babies" "make sure that all their children get attached to the baby brother who needs you...etc". It's a fight for a life.

    As some of the CD family members who were raised by grandparents have said...they wouldn't have made it with-o their grandparents. Hugs. DDD
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Melissa, good to see you and glad to hear that you, husband and Baby J are doing so well. Congratulations on the job. It sounds very rewarding.

    Sorry to hear that difficult child is being, well, GFGish. I agree with the others about protecting your legal rights and detaching. Suspending contact may be the thing that difficult child needs to turn it around, or it may just protect you from further heartbreak. Either way, I think it's the right move.

    And as one who was raised by my wonderful grandmother, I think Baby J is a very lucky little one.

  6. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Hey there Melissa, thanks for the update. Can't believe it's been 2 1/2 years since Baby J was born WOW! Glad the 3 of you are doing so well.

    Must be so hard to imagine another baby possibly at risk, I am so sorry for your mommy/grandmommy heart. Sending (((hugs))) and prayers.

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I just saw this now. I'm so glad that J is doing well, and very proud of your husband. I can see why you would be feeling overwhelmed with difficult child right now. I would be furious! It's hard to appropriately express my questions and half conclusions online, because that she would do it again is just so outrageous. I hope you won't read this as being judgmental, as I haven't any conclusions, just questions. What on earth is she thinking? Is it a way to keep you and husband under her thumb? Does she think children are fashion accessories? She must be thinking something.

    I don't want to jump to conclusions, because you didn't actually say, but if she runs off again, is she expecting you to raise this second baby? If she does run off, do you know what you would do, and does she understand it?

    I'm so sorry. I would be beside myself.
  8. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Hi Melissa,
    I've been on and off this board for several years and guess we just haven't run into each other, so to speak! But it sounds like you and husband have provided a wonderful, stable, loving home for J. Now comes the challenge. It's going to wreak havoc in J's life to have gfgmom nearby playing on his emotions and trying to attract him with a new little sibling. Maybe a court would end gfgmom's rights with respect to J, given her continued drug use (saw that on the other thread), and you could shelter J from her. That would be emotionally horrific for you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'd be able to do in the same situation. If the court and the OCY get involved prior to the new baby's birth, maybe they will help sort things out. Babies can be taken at birth from mothers who use drugs and have a history of abandoning or abusing other children. Social services might be significantly helpful here ...?
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Wow Melissa...does it EVER end???

    I am SO glad to hear of baby J and your marriage and new job but sad for the difficult child's situation. It is so hard for our kids to grow up and learn a lesson...ONCE and for ALL. They seem to repeat though don't they...I guess it hasn't hurt bad enough yet, huh? who knows. Anyway, just thinking of you too...YOU sound good all in all, so I'm glad for that.

    Hugs and love,