Hello everyone just checking in

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by rejectedmom, Aug 15, 2009.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Nothing has changed on the difficult child scene. He is scheduled to get out free and clear in January if he stays out of trouble. If not, he will be out in March. We have no plan and no services waiting this time so he will most likely go to a shelter. It is what it is. He can't/won't change and I can't seem to make a difference so, acceptance is our only answer.

    On a brighter note easy child 2/difficult child has bought a condo and moved in. I am now an empty-nester after 35 years (and 22 kids) of parenting!!!!!! I am truly loving it!

    The grandchildren are growing like weeds, the youngest is already nine months and starting to walk. I have had lots of time with all of them at the beach this summer. They started comming out to the cottage in July after a month's delay because I had fallen behind on some renovation work I was doing on the main living areas. The project still isn't done but I put it on hold so we all could enjoy the rest of the summer at the beach. The kids go back to school next week :( . I cannot believe their vacation is almost over. I am trying to convince my daughter to go out to the beach with me for a couple of days this week so the kids can have one last beach trip before returning to school. She is supposed to let me know tomorrow if she can clear her schedule. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

    husband & I will be going on a two week trans-atlantic cruise in Sept. I am excited but packing for this is a real challenge. The weather can be anywhere from 40 to 80 degrees and there are three formals and no laundry facilities. The real kicker is that we have a two bag 50 lb/bag limit. I'm not complaining but I am certainly open to suggestions from any travel savy people out there.

    Well that is it from my neck of the woods. I hope everyone is doing well and I continue to pray for all of us and our difficult child's. -RM
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2009
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Hi!! It seems wise to me to find that certain "place," where you step away, detach, put limits, move forward from an adult difficult child who continues to be problematic. That is what you've done. Hope for the best, but understand there are significant limitations.

    Totally cool that you are an empty nester and loving it! As it should be!!! :D

    Wonderful news about the cruise!!! Awesome!!!

    husband and I have taken several cruises. I like them...he LOVES them! Sounds like this trip is very special. Can you pay extra for an extra bag? Also, you might dress lightly and then when its time to come home, you can wear layers of clothing. Why? Because you are going to buy great stuff and you will need the space in the bag. Also, they don't count shopping bags on the return trip, right? You might get bags a little larger than necessary when you purchase souvenilrs...this way you can back stuff in those bags on your return home. You can go to kmart for those little appropriate sized containers or the container store, if necessary. Anything you and your husband can share, might help a little...like deoderant. I recall at one time, husband and I use to use two different ones, but when these rules came into effect, we started using the same deoderant, shampoo, conditioner and razor. I put all my medications in two baggies...one am and one pm. I know which pills/vitamins I need by size and color. I also put a detailed label on each baggie with my name and what the pills are and the doctors name. There is one medication that is vital to my good health...that one I take the vial. All others go in the baggie and I take one extra day for all my stuff. I keep this in my purse. This save space because there are no bottles. Try to pack shoes that don't weigh a lot. Give shoes lots of thought...due to their weight. But also of course, you'll need comfort and you need something for dress wear. Last time we travelled we tried to weigh our bags on our at home scale...it was relatively close...gave us a rough estimate. Good luck...have lots of fun!!!
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you so much for the travel tips I printed them out! I have been using my home scale and so far my bag weighs 38 lbs but I still have alot of stuff to pack.

    We are enjoying not having any adult children at home but we also realize that it could change. Having two sons with limitations it would be unrealistic to think otherwise. difficult child gets out of prison in January or March and if there is no room at the local shelters it will be too cold for living on the street. We hope to have some other arrangement and a plan beforn then but we are not sure what will be available. Like you say. we will hope for the best, be aware of the other possibilities, and also set the limits and boundries.

    For now we will live the life of an emptynester and we will enjoy it for however long it lasts. -RM
  4. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Hi, RM!

    I love your choice of picture or logo or whatever they are called. Is it like "the jewel in the lotus"?

    Very nice.

    You sound good, R.M.

    Enjoy your cruise!

  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Hi RM,

    It is good to see you and hear that life is going well.

  6. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Hi RM, good to hear that things are peaceful. Your cruise sounds awesome! Where will you land in Europe? daughter and I went on a week-long cruise in June, first time ever, and loved it. I would suggest - try not to overpack, no matter how hard it seems. I thought I'd done well and still had too much stuff. If you can mix and match formal skirts and tops that might help; we had two formal nights and lots of people wore basically the same thing for both. Shoes are heavy, so if each pair will go with multiple outfits you're ahead of the game. daughter and I pared our toiletries down to bare minimums (we thought) but could have taken less - so try going with less than you think you need and you may be pleasantly surprised. The best thing we had was our camera - we took hundreds of pictures and that was our best souvenir. All the best, hope you have a great time!
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Barb, I chose the lotus flower because I had a nice experience medatating on one a while back. for me it is a symbol of peaceful living something we all strive for and treasure.

    Suz, it is always nice to touch base with the people you care about. I've been busy and without a computer most of the summer so I apologize for my popping in and out but truthfully I am never far away and you all are forever in my thoughts and prayers.

    Katya, Thanks for the tips. When I go to the Carribean I am always able to pack light as I am very familiar with that sort of trip. This is my first Trans-atlantic cruise and I'm told Ireland, Scotland, Iceland and Canada can be very cold while France and England can be very hot this time of year. I am trying to stick with the very basics for both temperature extremes. Unfortunately I have gained more weight and I have had to do a bit of shopping which has been discouraging. It has added a bit of stress I could have done without. But I'm almost done, I just have to get a polartech jacket to fit under my waterproof windbreaker and a couple of travel sized toletries and I will be done. I'm packing silver sandles for evening and they will go with everything that I chose to bring. -RM
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2009