Hello long lost family! Need some suggestions quick!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hexemaus2, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    Hello everyone! Haven't been here in over a year (since before Fran turned over the helm) and boy don't the boards look different! I have missed my extended family here...although I'm not sure how many are still around...;) (I haven't done much digging to see who all is still around yet, but wanted to say a quick hello to everyone.) I could also use some suggestions pretty quick.

    difficult child #2 (who has a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis, as well as Generalized Anxiety, Inter. Explosive Dis., and several other dxs for sensory issues, etc.) Had a meltdown this past weekend. Nothing unusual really (isn't that sad to say?) except for the fact that this time, rather than getting police & an ambulance, we only got police when we called 911 for help. (He's been hospitalized 4 or 5 times now over the last couple of years...always through a call to 911, an ambulance, and going through the ER for an emergency admit....can't seem to get him admitted any other way...but that's a topic for another day.)

    In any regard, for the first time ever, difficult child turned his aggression from us to the police officers who responded. I tried to explain that difficult child is a 'special needs' kid as the officers arrived, difficult child wasn't at the point of getting violent yet, but was pretty close. One of the officers, a new kid, was, in my opinion, way over-zealous. I think he thought he was dealing with just a trouble-maker kind of kid, rather than a kid with 'issues.' The cop completely ignored everything I tried to say & took it upon himself to just take difficult child 'down' physically. Just walked up behind him, didn't say a word, and grabbed difficult child in a choke hold. Of course difficult child freaked out, started to panic, and tried to fight his way out. (No excuses for difficult child's behavior, but I've done this before & I was trying to tell the cop what I needed them to do so that things WOULDN'T escalate.)

    Anyway, difficult child is now sitting in YDC rather than in the hospital where he needs to be. I just found out, after tracking down 4 or 5 different people in various departments to whom difficult child has been 'assigned,' that he has a court hearing tomorrow at 2pm. (Gee, was anyone going to notify ME of that hearing?!? Grrr.) I was told that basically, difficult child will either be sent home to me or committed to the state tomorrow. Even if he's committed to the state (as in jail) they may still send him home until his case goes to committee?!?

    Long story short, difficult child is simply too violent to come home...not without hospitalization to stabilize his medication situation first, at the very, very least. In all honesty, I'd rather have him placed in residential. I think having a more controlled environment with people better trained to help him learn to cope with a world he doesn't "get" so that he learns NOT to respond so violently every time he gets upset or anxious would be the ideal setting for him. After 8 years of difficult child-dom, there aren't too many other options we haven't tried yet with little to no success. At least not anything long-lasting.

    The problem is, I spoke with his Juvenile Court case worker earlier today. He says if I don't want difficult child to come home, then the state will remand him to custody in the youth detention system...unless his psychiatrist and I can come up with some sort of plan for residential treatment. Well, considering I have YET to hear back from difficult child's psychiatrist (been calling since Saturday!) I'm at a loss to get her help before tomorrow. (Another topic for another day...Ms. Moron psychiatrist is about to get herself fired...but at the moment I can't have difficult child with NO medical professional available to him.)

    I've been doing some digging, trying to locate viable Residential Treatment Center (RTC) options within a reasonable distance. (The state will have to transport him, so I don't think going outside Georgia is going to be an option.) I'm not finding much luck...even looking into neighboring states like South Carolina. Can anyone make a recommendation for help finding an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that can handle kids on the Autism spectrum?
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I thought GA did have a good place. I know we cant recommend but it starts with the word Three...lol. Now I havent had personal experience but I think this place has places in several states. NC is one of them and GA is another one. I may be wrong though.

    I am sorry about what is happening though. Another option to consider is to ask the court to remand him to the state mental hospital for evaluation of his capacity. That should buy you some time and they may be able to refer you to some good placements. I know that sounds harsh but our state hospital was one of the best places we ever used.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I just sent you a PM with an idea. HOpe it helps!
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Hex - good to see you!

    I do not have any suggestions of places, but I would try to submit a request in writing to the judge before 2:00 that states your wishes and difficult children needs. Also, I would explain how the officer did not handle things properly. I think you want that documented.
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Wish I had more experience in this area (I'm in SC but do not know of an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) off hand) But I echo the sentiment of getting whatever paperwork you can to the courts before the hearing so the court has this info before it all goes ahead. I'm so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Sorry I can't be of more help - but you have the support and ears for listening here - (which I'm gathering you already knew) I hope it at least helps to keep you comforted on a small level that I absolutely feel the pain you are going through. So sorry!! (((hugs))))
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi Hex, have you been involved with the local chapter The Autism Society? My best resource is always groups of parent peers. Someone within the group has tried many of the programs and will share their experiences. http://www.scautism.org/
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Hex, good to see you. Sorry I can't be of more concrete help, but I just wanted to welcome you back and wish you good luck in court tomorrow. I hope difficult child 2 gets the help he needs.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    G'day, Hex. Sorry to hear of these problems - makes me mad!

    I'm with the others about going in to court and explaining that the cop really didn't listen and as a result, this escalated where it shouldn't have; and also, t hat you really needed to get him hospitalised, not put in detention somewhere.

    What good will detention do? The purpose of this is punishment, to teach them to not do it again. But I strongly suspect that if faced with the same set of circumstances (including cop rough-handling him in that way) the same outcome would ensue - YDC is not the answer.

    And of course, keep looking for anything you could find, maybe present the judge with a list of your searches and concerns. Any history of health issues, any other records you might have to present to the judge - get copies made fast so you can just hand over the paperwork and not get anxious about losing vital records.

    Sorry you're going through this. Not good.

    Hang in there, let us know how you get on.