Welcome, Herra. This board generally targets birth through age 5, but some parents continue to post here later depending on the developmental stage of their child. Check out this board as well as the general board and post whereever you feel most comfortable.
If the list of diagnosis's seems accurate to you, I'm thinking that most school districts would opt for a label that would better fit the level of services your child will likely need. Waht kind of school settings has he been in?
They placed him in a regular K-garten classroom but at the only school where the ED kids are placed "just in case" things got worse. There was an aide in the classroom that worked mostly with him and she "weened" him off of her throughout the school year, which is great. We have seen much more aggression and defiance this spring.
He is on an IEP. Has been since preschool for speech, Occupational Therapist (OT), and social skills. Currently qualified for PT for next year as he still has trouble throwing/catching a ball, riding a bike, ect... Coordination is a problem. He's quite the clutz and has no concept of personal space. Voice has one volume (usually). Loud. We thought he had asperger's for the longest time until he became more social and aware of others, more affectionate. This took awhile and it wasn't learned, just happened late. He loves to memorize things. Knew all fifty states by age 3 and would only name them in order. (without looking!) But, he couldn't really carry on a conversation until age 5. Even at age six the conversations are interesting. Speech services are more for communication. He's very articulate yet doesn't comprehend double meaning words or phrases like, "give me a break", "knock it off", or "settle down". He's too literal. (sounds like asperger's doesn't it!?) The lesion on the brain proved us wrong on that one, but does explain the behaviors. The aggression and tantrums are why I joined this online support. We don't know what to do! I teach emotionally disturbed kids, I come up with contracts and behavior plans all the time! None of them work on this child. Short term memory is terrible, so that doesn't help. Yet, he can remember and recite in every detail a particular day from three years ago, and he never forgets a name. He is amazing. Just exhausting. Thanks for the comments.
We do occasionally see kids coming through who have had damage done to the frontal lobe region of the brain who have many overlapping symptoms with Asperger's. You're probably doing a lot of that already but my advice would be to borrow from that camp whatever works instead of reinventing the wheel. You're probably already familiar with Nonverbal Learning Disability but if you aren't I'll give a link for that as you may find some help there as well. (NLD kids have loads of problems with personal space and coordination).
We always have to drill parents on diagnosis, services, and school setting because any one thing out of order there can really throw a kid out of whack and make a tremendous improvement when addressed properly. If everything you have ever tried to bring about behaviorally hasn't made any forward progress I'd personally toss it all and start over again using The Explosive Child strategy. The idea here is to focus so totally on prevention and reducing meltdowns so that the child leaves behind the knee jerk reaction to authority that they have been accustomed to for so long. When my difficult child was unstable due to anxiety and a bad medication reaction we used this method to the extreme for a time, ignoring EVERYTHNG but safety concerns. It took constant supervision and a lot of tongue biting but eventually we had success (in our case also adding in behavior mod but I would start with The Explosive Child first). Some kids do well enough with this change in strategy to avoid medications, so in my opinion it's worth giving it a good trial.
I've got a handout on disciplining a child with Executive Function problems that I'll post for you as well.
Executive Function Disorder/Frontal Lobe Disinhibition Syndrome
Characteristics & General Principles of Intervention
1)Limited ability to see situations from another persons point of view or to empathize, or to modify behavior to please someone else; egocentric personality long term.
-More likely to cooperate if able to see a personal advantage, ie earning a reward, break time, preferred activity time
-*May* be able to learn a different viewpoint using social stories to train social perceptions and provide rule-based alternative behavioral choices; parallel strategies used for individuals with autism, but usually less invested in doing the right thing
-Avoid lectures; they foster angry, argumentative, defiant responses
2)Impulsive, disinhibited, with potentially quick mood changes, either in silliness or in anger.
-Will exert more control if motivated by reward-based deals or contracts first; once again, knowing whats in it for them
-Need *rotating* reward menu to choose from, since what is rewarding at any given time may change on a whim or mood
-Will *not* usually exert control to avoid a negative consequence; may actually become more out of control in anger at unfair treatment instead
-Needs a place to calm down in order t return to opportunity to ear reward(s); not a time out as a punishment
3)Does not recognize differences in authority based on age or social role; frequently joins conversations or gives or resists directives in an adult-like manner.
-Limit commands/directive by setting expectations bases on routines which are followed by preferred experiences, ie homework is always done before Nintendo time, bath comes before favorite TV program
-Prompt for successful rewards/opportunites; dont emphasize who is boss of whos rightan argument you will never win
-Limit the use of the words no..you cant youre wrong Instead say Thats a good idea; well have to add it to your reward menu, maybe for next week
This is not a comprehensive list. Given that individuals with NLD commonly have Executive Function Disorders affecting social functioning in addition to their specific learning problems, consider the following resources:
Nonverbal Learning Disabilities, PB Tanguay
The Source For Nonverbal Learning Disorders, S. Thompson
Bridging the Gap; Raising the Child with Nonverbal Learning Disorder, RV Whitney