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Gemma77
Guest
Hi everyone,
I have stumbled upon this site looking for parent support as I have a goregous, clever and loving little boy who I think needs more help than his dad and me can give alone...
Adam is 6 and there has been challenging behaviour since as far back as I can recall. He went to a day nursery as a toddler and would bite and pinch children every day from the age of 1 until 3. The nursery were really supportive but did tell me that they had never had a child who had bit as much as Adam did. At 3 he finally stopped biting but moved on to hitting and pushing, including nursery staff. Nursery told us that he needed the structure of school and that school would probably settle him.
So Adam started school at nearly 5 and we had more of the same behaviour. The school were concerned with how angry and impulsive he could be We worked closely with the school and were sent to parenting classes for children with ADHD (although Adam has never been diagnosed). These were really helpful but most of what we learnt we were already doing. I must have read every parenting book going in an attempt to help my son!
Adam is now in year 1 and still he is challenging. He has to sit on his own because he doesnt focus on his work and distracts other children. He is doing well academically with his maths and reading but refuses to concentrate on writing which is now going backwards. He punched a girl between the legs yesterday and so we now how a meeting with the school today to 'discuss other options'.. I am pretty sure this means having some assessments done as they have hinted at this in the past at parents evenings.
At home, Adam's behavious is equally as challenging. He is prone to temper tantrums, aggressive outbursts, he is defiant and constantly pushes boundaries. He will hit and throw things and whilst he doesnt swear he does shout and scream too.
We work very hard at being calm and structured at home. We ignore behaviour where we can, use consequences, loss of privaleges and time out for bad behaviour and try and find as good behaviour to praise and reward as we can. We have sticker charts, family play time, have a good routine, eat healthy and generally very close relationships. We dont smack him but do insist on him doing chores as a punishment if his behaviour warrents it.
Adam nows what is right and wrong. He knows the right thing to do and is remorseful when he has behaved badley (once he has calmed down). Its just that consequences and punishments dont seem to work.. it's like he doesnt have time to stop and think before he acts. He is impulsive at home and at school.
We are good parents, we work closely with his school and are firm but fair and loving at home. I know this sounds selfish, but I can't help thinking how unfair this is...my son should be doing so well given how hard we work at parenting. I see parents in the playground swearing, smacking and speaking to their kids like they hate them, yet it is my little boy who is causing problems in the classroom and in the playground. It is my little boy who has to sit on his own in class, my little boy who has to report to the head teacher every day...
Do you think it's possible that there is a medical reason behind this? Is there anything else we can do to help him?
In my heart I know something is not right. My son is a good boy and I am so scared that he is going to be labled a 'bad child' and what this is doing to his self-esteem.
Thanks for reading
Gemma
I have stumbled upon this site looking for parent support as I have a goregous, clever and loving little boy who I think needs more help than his dad and me can give alone...
Adam is 6 and there has been challenging behaviour since as far back as I can recall. He went to a day nursery as a toddler and would bite and pinch children every day from the age of 1 until 3. The nursery were really supportive but did tell me that they had never had a child who had bit as much as Adam did. At 3 he finally stopped biting but moved on to hitting and pushing, including nursery staff. Nursery told us that he needed the structure of school and that school would probably settle him.
So Adam started school at nearly 5 and we had more of the same behaviour. The school were concerned with how angry and impulsive he could be We worked closely with the school and were sent to parenting classes for children with ADHD (although Adam has never been diagnosed). These were really helpful but most of what we learnt we were already doing. I must have read every parenting book going in an attempt to help my son!
Adam is now in year 1 and still he is challenging. He has to sit on his own because he doesnt focus on his work and distracts other children. He is doing well academically with his maths and reading but refuses to concentrate on writing which is now going backwards. He punched a girl between the legs yesterday and so we now how a meeting with the school today to 'discuss other options'.. I am pretty sure this means having some assessments done as they have hinted at this in the past at parents evenings.
At home, Adam's behavious is equally as challenging. He is prone to temper tantrums, aggressive outbursts, he is defiant and constantly pushes boundaries. He will hit and throw things and whilst he doesnt swear he does shout and scream too.
We work very hard at being calm and structured at home. We ignore behaviour where we can, use consequences, loss of privaleges and time out for bad behaviour and try and find as good behaviour to praise and reward as we can. We have sticker charts, family play time, have a good routine, eat healthy and generally very close relationships. We dont smack him but do insist on him doing chores as a punishment if his behaviour warrents it.
Adam nows what is right and wrong. He knows the right thing to do and is remorseful when he has behaved badley (once he has calmed down). Its just that consequences and punishments dont seem to work.. it's like he doesnt have time to stop and think before he acts. He is impulsive at home and at school.
We are good parents, we work closely with his school and are firm but fair and loving at home. I know this sounds selfish, but I can't help thinking how unfair this is...my son should be doing so well given how hard we work at parenting. I see parents in the playground swearing, smacking and speaking to their kids like they hate them, yet it is my little boy who is causing problems in the classroom and in the playground. It is my little boy who has to sit on his own in class, my little boy who has to report to the head teacher every day...
Do you think it's possible that there is a medical reason behind this? Is there anything else we can do to help him?
In my heart I know something is not right. My son is a good boy and I am so scared that he is going to be labled a 'bad child' and what this is doing to his self-esteem.
Thanks for reading
Gemma