Dear Darlene,
Welcome to the board. This will be a place that can help you when you walk down the path with a difficult child (Gift from God).
Like others have stated, ODD really is a symptom not a condition. My son, was first labeled ODD but I knew that most likely he was Bi polar, like his mother. ODD many times too tries to lay blame on the parent for lack of parenting skills. That is not what is wrong with our difficult child's. They have a real emotional, mental condition that needs medication and help to deal with.
I too highly suggest getting a good evaluation from a good doctor. My son has shown great improvement with the medications that he started on about 5 weeks ago. They do make him drowsy still a bit, but the change in his personality and actions has been, well almost like night and day. I have a loving, affecionate calmer son, that has been hiding somewhere because of the bipolar for years now.
Not all children have such a quick change, it takes time to find the right medication combination. Some is trial and error. But they can be helped and with the younger ones, starting early with medications can help them learn to take them, to be helped.
Make your self at home. Have a cup of coffee or hot tea. Read a little, type a little. Offer words of encouragement, take words of encouragement. Feeling overwhelmed with the process, take time to vent really loud and deep, and feel part of the load float away. There is strength in having others who have been there, done that, and have the t-shirt from it all.
Tpaul