dashcat
Member
Forgive me for posting so much on this subject, but I have to get this out somewhere.
I know most of you know the feeling of helplessness with your difficult child's struggles, their choices, their lack of choices, and the pure insanity of dealing with a difficult child loved one. So, I know I'm not alone in this feeling at all, but it helps to vent.
I posted earlier about difficult child's drama, the breakup, etc.
I'm not worried - and never was, about the "breakup". The lesbian acting out isn't a source of concern to me. What I am worried about is the confused and chaotic thinking ... the vortex she is caught in, and - most important of all - her absolute refusal to at least try lithium. Her psychiatrist told her - in front of me - that bi-polar disorder is managable. He also said that it is not managable without medications. Her therapist has said the same. I know that part of the disease is a kind of tunnelvision that causes them to think that they are fine ... everyone else is nuts ... but they are fine. I understand this, but accepting it is a completely different story.
Right now, my beautiful daughter is sleeping. She was asleep when I came home at 6:30 this evening. She was asleep when I came home at 9:30 last night. She did work an early shift this morning (6:00 a.m.until 2:00 p.m.) and works tomorow, 5 a.m. till 11:a.m. I have no idea how long she'd been asleep before I came home.
She has not showered. She smells. All she had tonight and last night for dinner was ice cream (she bought this, not me. there is plenty of healthy food in the house - sandwich stuff leftover pasta, easy to fix stuff).
I don't know which difficult child I will see tomorrow. Will she be stable, as she was only a few days ago? Will she be manic? Will she sleep for another twelve hours?
She is 21 years old. She is beautiful, bright, funny, articulate, and utterly caught on the hamster wheel of unmedicated bi-polar disorder. At 21, the world seemed like a smorgassbord to me. To her, it is a prison. Why?
Dash
I know most of you know the feeling of helplessness with your difficult child's struggles, their choices, their lack of choices, and the pure insanity of dealing with a difficult child loved one. So, I know I'm not alone in this feeling at all, but it helps to vent.
I posted earlier about difficult child's drama, the breakup, etc.
I'm not worried - and never was, about the "breakup". The lesbian acting out isn't a source of concern to me. What I am worried about is the confused and chaotic thinking ... the vortex she is caught in, and - most important of all - her absolute refusal to at least try lithium. Her psychiatrist told her - in front of me - that bi-polar disorder is managable. He also said that it is not managable without medications. Her therapist has said the same. I know that part of the disease is a kind of tunnelvision that causes them to think that they are fine ... everyone else is nuts ... but they are fine. I understand this, but accepting it is a completely different story.
Right now, my beautiful daughter is sleeping. She was asleep when I came home at 6:30 this evening. She was asleep when I came home at 9:30 last night. She did work an early shift this morning (6:00 a.m.until 2:00 p.m.) and works tomorow, 5 a.m. till 11:a.m. I have no idea how long she'd been asleep before I came home.
She has not showered. She smells. All she had tonight and last night for dinner was ice cream (she bought this, not me. there is plenty of healthy food in the house - sandwich stuff leftover pasta, easy to fix stuff).
I don't know which difficult child I will see tomorrow. Will she be stable, as she was only a few days ago? Will she be manic? Will she sleep for another twelve hours?
She is 21 years old. She is beautiful, bright, funny, articulate, and utterly caught on the hamster wheel of unmedicated bi-polar disorder. At 21, the world seemed like a smorgassbord to me. To her, it is a prison. Why?
Dash
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