Her past is going to haunt her :(

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Jun 26, 2014.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    husband was telling Marina and I about how Connor's great aunt also works hours at a hospice and said how that would be a great job for Marina. Marina agreed because she really does enjoy caring for old/sick people.

    Come to find out you have to be a licensed CNA - okay, it is only a month long course to be certified. But, I doubt she will be able to get her license because of the affray charge. :(

    She is working the job that husband's friend got her but she absolutely hates it. It is standing and re-packaging food items all day. She wants to quit so badly but won't because of how it would look for husband. I told her to find another job and then give a week's notice to this one. They won't care - they are so used to people leaving. It is a crap job making minimum wage. No one would make it a career.

    Just stinks that even though they try SO hard to change their lives, this koi will keep biting them in the butt. :(
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    The hardest thing to do with a difficult child is get it through their thick skulls that their actions have consequences. She could look into the requirements for becoming a CNA and go from there. I know some nursing homes will train CNA's in order to get them to work.
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    It is not the training that is the issue - she is willing to go for schooling. It is the license to get a job. I looked up the requirements and a clean record is one - no violence, which affray is public fighting...

    I told husband I think she needs to get everything paid off to the courts and then talk to the judge and see if there is anything he can do. If she tells him it is because she wants to get a job helping dying people, maybe he will erase her record? I don't know... :(
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    OH PG I sympathize... I have the same worry about my difficult child. He has a felony on his record and it is going to bite him in the future.... but of course at the moment none of that matters because he doesnt have his act together at all.

    Hopefully if she is honest and keeps doing so well she will figure out a way to move forward and get past her past.


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  5. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you have done your research then. Hopefully the judge can help her.
  6. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    PG-have her write to the judge. It may very well work since she has turned herself around totally.

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  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I was thinking the same. Just as soon as she is paid up. Especially when he hears what it is that she wants to do...

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  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    In the meantime PG, you might have her look in to catering. My daughter presently has a record and she has been doing catering jobs for cash. She found them on craigslist under part time and etc. Give it a try. My daughter has worked 3 catering gigs in the last week. I hope something positive happens for your daughter, she deserves it.
  9. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Wow, RE. You read my mind. My daughter who did drugs turned into an awesome pastry chef! There are many, many jobs that don't require background checks. Another job, if she wants to go back to school, would be a substance abuse counselor. My daughter thought about it. Let's face it. THEY KNOW. And substance abusers don't listen to people who have never been in their shoes. Get a two year college catalogue and have her check out the various professions. Does she like to decorate?

    I agree with sending a letter to the Judge as well. It can't hurt. Wasn't he very happy with her wonderful progress? He may want to help.

    I know what you mean by the past following them around even after they make good. My daughter was in one car accident, was sued for a bundle and the woman who sued her won. She owed money years after she quit using. Finally my ex paid it off, but she had paid a lot of money until then.

    Hugs and thinking good thoughts for your awesome daughter and adorable grandson.
  10. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    She was so depressed last night knowing her past is stopping her right now from doing something GOOD. The CNA course is only a month long and she would be doing something she really enjoys. She doesn't like cooking - she can't cook a thing if it isn't fried...lol. But all great advice!

    I put in an email to her PO this morning asking specifically what charges she has on her record and letting her know what Marina wishes to do. The good thing is it won't haunt her forever. They can only go back 7 years...but 7 years is a long time...
  11. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG, catering isn't cooking, it's serving, like waitressing and usually some prep work and then cleanup. If one can get in with a reputable company, it can actually be lucrative. Waitressing might also be an option, at least for now, restaurants may not require a background check.

    I'm sorry your daughter is going through this, my prayers are with you........
  12. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Call the courts - there is a form they have to request charges either be sealed or taken off their record

  13. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I talked with her PO - she said there ARE options and there IS hope!! Once she gets the last of her fine paid off we will go in to talk to her. YAY!!

    Meanwhile she IS working, though. She is even picking up an extra shift tomorrow to get this paid off quicker. She found out that she will be working 50 hours a week minimum, so she does have income until she can get her legal stuff straightened out. I told her I may talk to her gramma and grampa while we are up there to see if maybe they would help pay her balance (her $725.00 balance is really pocket change to them). But she said no, she doesn't like taking money from anyone and would rather work her butt off to pay it off.

    She also has one amazing little brother!! He is supposed to be earning $100 a week for watching Connor while she works (I am here working in my bedroom) but he told her that she could pay him in smaller increments until she gets her court stuff paid off. He says he loves spending the time with his nephew and the money is just a bonus.


    I feel like I am bragging and I hate that, it makes me feel bad, but I really do have some amazing kids. We all do - deep down, they are good kids...just some are really lost right now. :(
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  14. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Patriots Girl,
    I am glad you got some good news. It is always good to hear that life can continue and doesnt have to be negative forever.
  15. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Yay PG!!! That's fantastic news! And seriously - brag away!!! You totally deserve to!

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  16. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    PG, in SC you can have some charges expunged from your record. Ask around about the process in GA

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  17. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Great news PG on all of it!

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  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I was thinking about getting it expunged too. If it was a misdemeanor then Im sure it would be easier. I know here it can take 15 years with NO charges to get felonies removed. Cory will never manage that unless he is dead.
  19. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    It was definitely not a felony. Misdemeaners from when she was 19. She has just changed SO drastically that I can't see them NOT doing it for her. Especially with the reason being that she wants a career caring for others. What better reason?

    I'm just so dang proud of her. She is really busting her tail at this koi job she has. She comes home absolutely drained and they do not allow them to stop for water breaks. The other night she was crying from leg pains due to dehydration. :( Ticks me off but the laws here are definitely not on the side of the workers. Ridiculous. Anyhow, there are a lot of Mexican people that work there and they speak Spanish, of course. Little do they know, Marina speaks some Spanish, too She knew they were talking about her the first week she was there but she kept quiet and didn't say anything. And then this other lady started working there and they were messing with her. Marina spoke up - in Spanish - she said their jaws dropped. She took this other woman under her wing and the Mexican people there have a new respect for her...lol. Still, I am really encouraging her to find something else when we get back. Even a warehouse job pulling orders would be better. This job is just too physically demanding. They had her putting pallets together yesterday while the men stirred rice krispy treats. Really? But she did tell husband yesterday that she has a whole new respect for him.

    We are SOOOO excited - we will see our family this weekend!! We decided to head out this Thursday evening instead of Friday morning. We are hoping to make it to a family function on Friday evening and surprise everyone a day early. I cannot wait for them to meet little Connor!!! (Who is now walking more than he crawls). He turns 10 months old on Friday. :) Goodness, he is SUCH a love bug. He has started cuddling so he will crawl into my lap and lay his head on my chest. I swear, there is NO better feeling in the world. <3
  20. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    This makes me smile big PG! Enjoy your time with your family this weekend! :D

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