Here we go again..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Another year. More problems. So far we have had seven school days and difficult child has already missed two Same story as always. She feels nauseous and throws up in the morning, and has stomach pain. She usually feels better later in the day. She still insists she is not well enough to go to school, even after I take away her cell phone and the computer. All summer long difficult child has had little problems with her ulcers. Every now and again she would get the occasional bout of nausea but it was mild and nothing serious. Ever since I brought her to school for registration two weeks ago, her ulcers have been acting up again. She has also been having random bouts of anxiety. She has been in to see the school psychiatric every single day since school started. He sure is earning his paycheck when it comes to dealing with my daughter. Not to mention the nurse. She was in her office again today and as usual, was sent back to class after having her temperature taken.

    I feel like we need to nip this anxiety in the bud ASAP. I am going to make an appointment with her psychiatrist after I start getting paid again. I don't know if he is going to recommend another medication, but right now I am willing to try it. difficult child hates taking her bipolar pills but she really needs help with her anxiety, and if that means she takes another morning pill, so be it. I am thinking her doctor will want to try her on an antidepressant if he does think medications are necessary. Antidepressants are tricky when it comes to having bipolar. For myself a whole bunch of antidepressants make me rapid cycle, espescially if the dose is too high. Hopefully that doesn't happen with difficult child. Having multiple diagnosises is hard. Some medications may work for one disorder but make another disorder worse. All I know is I can't have a repeat of last year with difficult child failing her classes. I am hoping we can get ahold of this anxiety and school refusal ASAP.
  2. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Im just learning about possible medications and techniques as my son is finally getting diagnosed ( needs further testing adhd, odd possible Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)) so Im sorry if I cant help. But your right, the anxiety is really not good and the Dr might change or up a medication. Has she been in off school counseling for her anxiety? Im sorry I havent read any of your earlier posts. Is there something that can relax her a little more with school approval like a sweater, or favorite item she can bring? Does she/you know anyone with anxiety that can talk to her, even if not a counselor cuz I know how I was as- any child might want to listen to someone their age or whos not in medical field who have been through anxiety and school or other situations? Good luck :)
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She just moved to this school last April and still hasn't met any friends yet. I am hoping she will finally meet somebody. She is in all Special Education classes but they are mostly boys she has no interest in. I keep trying to get her to eat in the cafeteria but she says the noise in there bothers her so she eats outside by herself. I think all she needs is one good friend and that will help her feel more at ease here.
  4. Confused

    Confused Guest

    I agree about having a friend in the school she can be with, I didnt haven't anxiety, just embarrassed if I sat on my own when my friends or boyfriend left the school. Hopefully if she feels more comfortable she can go to school activities that she can do that have some girls in it? Its hard Im sure for her and when I went to my BAC/BIC classroom, yup mainly or all boys ( besides me). Its hard. ( I was in and out of school because of my 4th grade abusive teacher so thats why I ended in Special Education- I didnt want to go to school after she did that to me/ other kids)

    Maybe outside of school like a support group for and with kids with anxiety? Hopefully one that she can actually physically attend and meet some girls. I know those groups are hard to come by tho. And at least they could talk about their days. Im sure she will meet a friend soon :) Tell her hang in there, she can do it one step at a time.
  5. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I dont know if they offer it there but we just enrolled easy child in online school and the drama has decreased greatly in the AM. Since her major issues seem to be related to leaving the school and dealing with large crowds it could work well for her.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Does she really hate the crowds and noise? I am wondering about sensory issues, which I also had badly. Does she also stay away from large stadiums or concerts or anything full of people? Does she look for an exit if she HAS to be in that sort of setting? Does she sort of want to be sure she can escape? I was scared of both crowded loud spaces and long empty spaces, such as flat picnic areas. I needed to know I could get to the car if I had a panic attack.

    I used to hate eating alone too. I also had school phobia. It was impossible in my family not to go to school, but I used to leave early all the time and go to the beach. I would feel dizzy and sick and could not concentrate and did very poorly as a result of that. I really didn't care. Just wanted the days to go by because school...the large space, the noise, the kids, the mean teachers, the hard all did monstrous stuff to my serious anxiety. Consequences for leaving school early didn't touch me because I cared more about leaving school so I could feel comfortable than facing consequences that I often wouldn't follow anyway. Back then, they didn't suspend, but that wouldn't have bothered me either. I would have liked School was a big nightmare for me to the point that I refused to attend graduation and nobody could make me go. I out and out refused, even though my father in particular was horrified about it and told me I'd regret not going forever (I never even think about it). School isn't good for all people.

    Any chance she can online public school and go to activities afterward for socialization? Some kids just don't do well in such a high stress, crowded environment where you are also constantly being judged by your peers...

    Something to consider????
  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    MWM that is what my daughter is doing and I have to say it has been great for her so far!
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    dtsc, it would have been great for me too. And for many other kids who simply do not fit into a crowded school with a teacher who has no use for kids who are filled with anxiety and/or different in other ways. I wish it had been an option.

    Keep us updated on how it is going :)
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Glad you're back. I think your plan of new medications is a good one. Hope you have a good psychiatrist. That does sound tricky having conflicting diagnosis. difficult child 2 just started a new medication for anxiety.

    I would've thought the ulcer issue would be healed by now, but I know very little about ulcers. Glad they didn't bother her much over the summer.
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She absolutely hates crowds and too much noise, although she is begging me for tickets to see her favorite band in concert. My mom just took both kids to a picnic concert at our church on Saturday and neither one of my kids could handle it. difficult child didn't like all the people and easy child couldn't stand the noise. They had to leave early. They didn't even stay for lunch. I agree that online school may be good but the only problem is difficult child would have to be watched like a hawk to get any work done. Summer school this year was hell because she had to do the work at home, and she could barely get through a half hour. The work was incredibly easy. I had to literally sit right by her and force her to do some of the work. If I were to leave her at home alone all day I know she wouldn't do anything. As it is, she has a one on one aide working with her in the classroom, and if for some reason her aide isn't available, she will lay her head down on the desk and flat out refuse to work. She expects the aides to give her all the answers. I don't know of any other options. I was told that she doesn't qualify for home teaching just due to the fact she has a mental disability. It's going to be a long three years till graduation time comes around, that's for sure. And this not going to school business just started in high school. She never had a problem in middle school, even though her ulcers were giving her problems back then as well. She would get sick in the morning but still manage to make it to school every day. She is getting worse the older she gets.