I don't have a daughter, my son is my only child. But I agree 100% with everything you said. Sadly, if the time ever comes that I need assistance, I hope I can find a decent home rather than have to live with my son. I really don't anticipate any great changes in our dynamic between now and then. But who knows?Hon, it isnt your fault. It is a fallacy that our kids turn out one way or another because of us. There is biology on BOTH sides, and all the other influences that matter more than us once they hit the teens and beyond. He probably picked up a bit of "jerk" from a father or distant relative and then found a group of yukky peers. Peers matter more to them than us once they hit 14 unless they are out for free money from us...that shows faulty character on their part. Most adult kids are loving and caring toward us.
It is probably best he not live eith you. I have three angel adult kids (one not) and I couldnt live with any of them. Adult children and their parents usually dont work out well in the same house and they tend not to grow up with us around. Especially if they dont WANT to grow up!
You are in my age range. Our adult kuds usually start looking after US at our ages, if they are good kids. I know my adult kids are quick to help us and ask about us (except for our one not so nice son). At your age and mine its time for us to have a blast and enjoy the rest of our lives. My hubby and I plan to RV travel in the winters! You have a very high functioning daughter. Enjoy HER.
Our Mommy days should be over. This is OUR time. Maybe renew your romance with hubby!
Your son is who he is and has slways been this way. Mine too. I have let go hoping for change and just enjoy the peace snd comfort of my home, my hearth, my husbsnd, my kind kids snd my hobbies and friends. Oh...and my DOGS who will RV with us!
I know its hard but I dont think we were put here to worry about our kids so much once we turn 60. Then its our time to let go and if you believe Let God.
I hope you can learn to find peace and give your son to God. in my opinion its time for you to rest and to what YOU want. What YOU enjoy. You cant change your son. No matter how this turns out, there is nothing you or sny of us csn do to change wayward adults.
Love and light!!
He's coming home! And I'm both ecstatic and apprehensive
- Thread starter LauraH
- Start date
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
You are getting ahead of yourself, I think. I am the one who really goes crazy with this. I feel the physical challenges of aging. In this last decade very, very much.
But the thing is this: We do not know how this will all come out. It is really one day at a time. Your son is very much a work in progress, as is my own. And we are too, and so are these relationships.
You are so right! I have two mantras now. "Small stuff, small stuff" as in, don't sweat...and "One day at a time." It's all any of us can do.
RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Laura
Just catching up with threads. So glad your son is not living there. I would not let him come back under any circumstances after what you just went through and the fact that he is 30 years old!!
You did everything with a loving heart and so glad that you have your peace back. Enjoy your husband. This is YOUR time. You raised your kids.
Prayers that he gets on the right track.
Just catching up with threads. So glad your son is not living there. I would not let him come back under any circumstances after what you just went through and the fact that he is 30 years old!!
You did everything with a loving heart and so glad that you have your peace back. Enjoy your husband. This is YOUR time. You raised your kids.
Prayers that he gets on the right track.
