JKF, if you have a minute, read the post about the storm being over and feeling kind of blah. Recovering was able to help me tap into what was happening down deep, where I couldn't see it. I found it so helpful to know she had come through the same kinds of things and had been able to repossess herself and her sense of joyful anticipation, of richness and color. Like you and like me, Recovering's child too is still troubled. What's lost is lost and nothing is certain, but somehow, she is making her way through it.
We can, too.
It is unbelievable, to mark the times we were so scared, so tired, so bewildered, and all we could really do was brace ourselves, even in our sleep, in our dreams, for what was coming, next. Always preparing for the shock of the worst thing, always knowing we would have to function through it and we had best be ready, we've had to forge a kind of strength we never even knew existed. When the situation changes, and it does, with startling speed, we've had to adapt without time to even take a breath.
No one who hasn't lived through it can understand it. But everyone has their take on what needs to happen, next. And all we can do is mirror enough of their own reality back to them to keep them from understanding the true horror of what is happening.
But we did it.
I imagine we will make it through this part, too.
It helps though, to know someone has come through it, and to hear how in the world they did that.
I am relieved to know your son is on his way. You have given him everything he needs to make a fresh start in a new environment. One of the things Recovering said in my post was that I needed to rest, and that it would take time before I could really relax. That is part of this, I think. We expect ourselves to make snap adjustments back to who and how we were because the crisis of the moment is past.
For now, it's past.
I think that was very wise of Recovering, to say that.
We need to give ourselves all the time we need...even, as Recovering said, just to truly relax.
That was a good thing for me to know. I hope it helps you, too.
We can do this.
Cedar
Keep us updated. And good thoughts from far away. My husband was raised in Idaho. It's a great state.
