Hi New here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hopingforamircle, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. hopingforamircle

    hopingforamircle New Member

    Hello. I am new here and looking for some support. My child is 3 1/2 and he has had behaviors for a long time. For some time people were saying well it's the early terrible 2's then it was the terrible 2's and now just that it's normal for his age. But he is diagnosed Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified but mild. The developmental pedi thinks its possible ADHD she even asked if Bipolar is in the family.

    He gets into these moods even though we praise him like crazy when he is good even the smallest thing he does we praise him up and down. He just is angry, we tried for so long to find out what triggers the behavior and try to avoid situations that get him angry but it doesnt work. He started standing in one place after glaring at me or someone else in the family, whether we ask him nicely not to do something or whatever it is that makes him mad he will stand there holding grudges for long periods of time. The behavioral specialist told me to ignore the behavior but he will stand there forever. He now started acting like he cant dress himself, or put shoes on when he is mad at any of us and he knows how to help himself. I have to do hand over hand dressing him etc because if it's cold i can't have my child walking outside with no shoes on because he refuses to do anything when he is mad. He turns his mood around when someone visits us it's an instant anger to a happy go lucky child. Then when they leave he starts looking straight in my eyes laughing/ giggling and smirking. He started doing this and saying aint i cute? He will not look at me for reasons he is mad then hug someone else and laugh at me and say aint i cute. I tried time-out and he would cry and i wouldnt approach him until he stopped crying, he would even say sorry but not now, he refuses to say sorry and he refuses to do self-help things when he is angry at me I ask him if hes sorry and he turns around in his seat and faces the wall he would rather stay in time-out. At evaluations he acts cute and behaves so well and whoever the evaluator is just feeds into it and tells me how much he improved and she only saw him for an hour then starts babying him, i live with him.

    My question is does anyone deal with behaviors that seem impossible to fix? I don't think it's impossible but it seems that way Know what I mean?? He likes time-outs he will just stare at his hand he could careless. He is demanding and thinks everyone caters to him too and if they arent then watch out you get the "if looks can kill" look. If you cater to him and treat him like he's the only one in the world he's fine with you, but sometimes that doesnt even work. I just don't know what to do with him.

    If you give time-out and your child usually says sorry but wont say sorry anymore after time-out what should you do, just ignore it?
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am not sure that a behavioralist is the type of professional who can best help this particular type of child. I'm wondering if he is getting any interventions for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. My son has it. He has really improved, but he really got A LOT of help. The school district should be able to enroll him in early intervention. If he says "ain't I cute?" I am wondering if he is echoing something he maybe heard on television (a common thing for kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to do). Does he have conversations or does he just sort of repeat what he hears? Self-help skills can be a real challenge for kids with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. And the kids can get very frustrated and act out, yet they are, for the most part, bright kids. Their behavior can mimic both ADHD and bipolar, but be careful...interventions are the first line of treatment for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), not necessarily medications, although some need medication.
    I would call the school district and get him enrolled in some interventions. I think he sounds VERY Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified--at least in comparison with my son. Others will come along.
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    3-5 is a really hard age for many children with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), even if it's mild. Sometimes they just wake up on the wrong side of the bed for no reason and often it takes very little for their mood to go bad.

    First off, is he getting speech and occupational therapy as well as early intervention preschool? Those are pretty much standards for kids with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and can go a long way in helping them progress in areas of struggle.

    Go up to the top of this board and read through the discussion on The Explosive Child. You're really going to need to develop a bag of tricks for dealing with this. Sometimes something very simple like a tic tac can be enough of a distraction to get a glowering kid out of the house and into the car.

    Don't worry about the self help skills. Every boy comes to a time when they become too embarrased to be dressed by their mother. If getting him dressed in the morning is a problem, let him wear clean clothes to bed as pj's. Also, pick up a copy of the book The Our of Sync Child because it's not uncommon for kids of this age who have sensory issues to really start resisting things that are troubling them. We had smooth sailing with clothes until this age and then all you know what broke loose.

    Videotape the real life behavior so the evaluator can see what you're really dealing with.
  4. bella_mamix2

    bella_mamix2 mommyx2 angels w horns

    Hey there.... I have a 4 year old with behaviorol problems as well.. I thought it was ADHD.. but the doctor told me to wait until he got into K before they would even look at the problem.. So i totally hear ya there..... I would just keep ya head up.. Have you seeked a second opinion?:confused:
  5. devira

    devira New Member

    HI, my difficult child started showing his behaviors at 3 years old. I was also told to wait until he was in kindergarten before seeking treatment, diagnosis or help. When he turned 4 I would sit up crying in frustration every night. I could not keep him safe, and I was truly worried.

    I went to a different pediatrician. He also said he would not diagnose with at that young age, but he was willing to give advise and eventually medication to see if it would help. For me the medication was a gift. For the first time in years I was able to enjoy my son around the clock.

    I am not saying that this is the right choice for you, but go to a second doctor for help, even if it is just for suggestions on coping skills. This group is great also. Lots of advice and support here.

    Good luck
  6. hopingforamircle

    hopingforamircle New Member

    Glad to hear all your suggestions ia appreciate it :) My child is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified mild and he has had interventions since he was 2 years old he is now almost 4. I understand how to help him and have tried everything under the sun. I am not saying he wont grow out of this or there isnt hope. He doesnt even need much intervention because of how well he is doing but dont get me wrong he still needs help, and he still gets services but he is starting an actual typical preschool with assistance. He isnt in the phase of being embarrest of changing his clothes in front of others and that isnt what is going on. He is capable of dressing himself in front of others and if i close the door and walk out of the room cause he is acting like he cant do it, he acts like a baby like he cant do it and after awhile does give in because he knows i am not watching him. He wont give in for long periods of time. His new game is causing trouble knowing he is doing it and then running to a stranger getting reinforcement for his bad behavior. For instance he got mad at a nutrition center because he doesnt want to stand on the scale to weigh himself. Ok so then he starts taking his shoe off after the whole thing is over so i put on the shoe for him cause he is crying. He takes his shoe off again and cries i told him to put it on since he knows how to. Next he tries taking it off again after putting it on and gets the back of his shoe bent so he stands there crying in front of everyone and someone in the waiting room said i think he needs help. OMG he is testing me and i am trying to ignore it so i help him and i sat down.He runs to the stranger trying to hug her and looking back at me. I grabbed him and sat him down and he sat there looking at the ground with a dirty look on his face. This isnt the first time this happened either this kind of incident.