Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Merfille, Nov 10, 2007.

  1. Merfille

    Merfille New Member

    My daughter had been doing well about hitting for a long time but it started back up over a week ago. I am so over it. I've kept my cool but let me tell you, right now I just feel like I'm going to throw up I'm so discouraged.

    She has been throwing things at me, hitting and kicking me with things, even her body parts (hands/elbows/head/knees/feet). She doesn't care who is around. We were supposed to go to a birthday party this afternoon. She said something and I asked her what she said because I didn't hear her and then she rushed her face up by mine with a mean look (this has been happening a lot even without hitting) and then hit my while holding a tiny toy - because the toy was tiny, she had a fist around it to hold it so she got me pretty good on my cheek. Not enough to bruise, I don't think, but it sure hurts.

    I stayed calm and then in a couple of minutes sat down to ask her why she did it. She said I made her angry. I asked her what I did to make her angry. She took a skirt and hit me with that.

    Of course, I look at her with as little emotion as possible and tell her hitting is not acceptable and she is not to do it. Like that works, right??

    I went out of the room to call my husband who is at work and when I came back, she was asleep on the couch, all dressed to go to the party.

    Ok, so what to do. She will be heartbroken if she misses it. We had already had the talk about if she feels funny or whatever to tell me right away and I would take her out. We could leave whenever we needed to.

    On the other hand, she has been so up and down today and seems to have little, if no, control. I dread taking her outside the house.

    I dread what she will be like if we don't go.

    So, what to do? What would you guys do? What have you done about the hitting?

    I'm going to swallow a bit of Pepto and a motrin. LOL
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sometimes medications like Abilify only work for the short term. For bipolar, mood stabilizers tend to work for the long haul. Just wondering what kind of evaluation she had to diagnose her. Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist for a second opinion on her disorder?
    My guess is that she doesn't know why she hit you or why she's so angry. If you have a disorder, especially a mood disorder, sometimes you scare yourself (I have one). I'd make sure she really has bipolar though. We've had several kids who were dxd. with BD on the board who have recently found they had something else. My son is one of them. As for the hitting, I would have let her go and concentrated more on getting her stable and re-evaluated. JMO
    Good luck!
  3. Merfille

    Merfille New Member

    Thanks for the reply. I have read here more than posted because right now I am still taking in more than I can give out! LOL Anyway, I have had that thought about the mis-diagnosis. Though she really does fit it, I know her psychiatrist is open to change due to her age especially. Right now they are working on full neuro-psychiatric testing. There is a lot of family history of BD and depression on both sides of the family, unfortunately. I know as far as the Abilify, he mentioned he wants to stick with one medication for now and take it up a small bit at a time, get to a certain point (?) before deciding to put her on any more medications.

    The good news is...she slept 2 hours. The party was from 4:30-7:30 so by the time she woke up, it was like a new day and she felt good...she got to go to the last half of the party and it was a great time. Whew!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad she had a good time at the party. I'm sorry you are dealing with the violence. It's really very hard and wears on you. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and finding some me time!
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If she is violent you MUST take her to the ER or call her psychiatrist and get her admitted. IT hurts like CRAZY to do this, but SOMETHING is very wrong.

    A danger to yourself or others is the definition of when to go to the hospital or call an ambulance for transport.

    Abilify is an antipsychotic, NOT a mood stabilizer.

    Also, has she been tested for seizures? The sleep deprived EED is essential to this. Dropping into sleep a few minutes after that kind of rage can be a big red flag for seizure. And seizures can cause ALL sorts of strange behavior that the child CANNOT control.

    Stay calm, get help, and glad the party worked well.