Homework battles

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Jan 8, 2009.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I just sent off the following email to Duckie's home base and math teachers:

    Hi Mrs O and Mrs A,

    I've been having a problem with Duckie staying on task while doing her spelling and math homework since before the break. She doesn't seem to be having a problem with comprehension, she's just procrastinating and getting distracted easily. Last night's math worksheet took almost an hour to complete and became a major battle so I've implemented a change. Starting tonight, she will have 20 minutes each to finish her daily math and spelling. I'm hoping she won't have very much incomplete work as she doesn't want to disappoint either of you. Hopefully she will be motivated to get it done in a more timely matter.

    Please call me at xxx-xxxx if either of you need to discuss this with me or have any other suggestions.


    I'll let you know what I hear back... :hammer:
  2. lillians

    lillians lillians

    is she really 7?? or older now,, i would not be so willing to abide by the homework rule... 30 minutes ,, or none,, they can get the work done at school, its not easy for teachers,, but can be done,, i think most of our children cannot focus later in the day,, and shouldnt have to unless yu can find a way to do 20 minutes early and 20 minutes later,, i be leive some days especially they just burn out,
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie turns 8 later this month. She's in second grade in a multiage (first through third grade) program. Mrs O is her home base teacher and Mrs A teaches all the program's second graders the math curriculum.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    been there done that. This is one of the most difficult aspects of raising difficult child. I have definitely given up on the battle to some extent. I hired a young girl to help him with his homework at afterschool care! Then we do a few things at night but he's tired and I've learned that meltdowns always result.

    I love your letter. Good job! Hugs, ML
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I used to have the same problem, as I'm sure we all do/did, when my daughter was younger. I dreaded homework time just as much as she did. It was a battle every night. A lot of times we both ended up in tears!!! I do not miss that!!! It got much better when she went into Special Education, in the 6th grade. She would get minimal, if any homework. It wasn't a huge deal if it didn't get done either. Then when she went into day/Boce programs it got even easier as she never got any homework or they did it in school. The homework battle is probably one of the most difficult issues with regards to having a difficult child. It is so frustrating. I remember being so frustrated with my daughter while writing out her Valentines for her classmates. UURRGGHH!!! That was just as bad, if not worse than the homework. Then again, now that I think about it, EVERYTHING with her was hard!! lol

    I hope you make some headway with the teacher. Hang in there Mom! :)
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    High School this year. Honors...a couple hours a night. I know they do get some class time since classes are 90 minutes. They have a 30 minute break and lunch. So he tells me he does it. Silly me, I believe him over and over and over.

    Homework is a battle. i wish I could do that. But he would fail. And now it is a credit
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks ML. :)

    Bran, I doubt her teachers are aware there may be a problem before today... she's a pretty conscientious student at school and actually a bit of a teacher's pet. :rolleyes: I'm hoping this will help Duckie get through her homework faster rather than excuse her from it.
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Kjs, I hope to fight (& win) the battle now. It's much easier to go toe-to-toe with a second grader than a ninth grader. You may have to let difficult child feel some natural consequences in order for him to improve.
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good luck! I hope she figures out how to manager her time wisely now. Did you find that during cheerleading her routine fostered homework efficiency?
  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Yes, Wendy... we had no major problems with homework until after the season ended. Of course she was going for the perfect attendance award and that adequately motivated her.
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Mrs O received my email, called Duckie to her desk and told her to do her homework more quickly starting today. She also said she hoped to never get another email like that from me.

    So Duckie came home from school, went potty, got a drink and immediately started her homework. Nine and a half minutes for math and eleven for spelling. I used a timer.

    She was supposed to go to her first gymnastics class tonight but that was cancelled, so she ended up having a play date before dinner instead. I made a point to tell her that it would have never happened if she would have dawdled. :thumbsup:
  12. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Sounds like a pretty good night. Good for her. :)
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Hope that works for her. I gave up getting on Missy's case about homework. If she starts giving me a hard time, I put it away and send the teacher a note. After dealing with four hours worth of screaming about homework one night, I said NO MORE.

    I put Missy in the after-care program at school, three days a week. They give them about 45 minutes to complete their work and then they have games & activities and then free time. This has been a major Godsend for me. We only do homework, here, one night a week. When it goes sour, I just put it away and send the teacher a note. I also keep everyone of those notes that I've sent the teacher (since kindegarten) in her file. I've brought them to every meeting with sd.
  14. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I love it! I think it's great. I really do. I did the same thing this year already. I told the teacher I have a cut off point, I gave the time frame and said that's that. I love the wording also.

    Yet there are certain nights that my difficult child's anxiety about not completing is too great mixed with her inattentiveness and distractibility lol lotta fun the combo yet we push to do only because if she doesn't do she'll melt down. it's the lesser of two evils at times here i have to chose.

    your letter though, i love it. i'd love to hear the teacher's response if any on it
  15. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Bran- It was a good night! I've been trying to get her to understand that getting through the mundane quickly and efficiently means more time for fun in the end.

    Loth- We haven't had consistent problems until recently, and truthfully, she's been just plain difficult all this week. She really has struggled getting back in the swing of things after the break.

    Jennifer- I picked her up from school today. Her teacher winked, grinned at me and said "I got your email and addressed it on my end. :devil: "

    Let's just say Duckie was very motivated to get her homework done! :rofl:
  16. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Duckie is probably just distracted from vacation and just needs to get back in the swing of things. Missy, OTH, needs more than just the proverbial swift kick in the butt.