Hopeful

[maril]

difficult child is a couple of months plus post IP treatment and continuing with OP program, support from PO, and 12-step program; he has improved. Except for one occasion, he has been substance-free and now can work on getting a better picture of what is going on with him (academic issues, anxiety, etc.). Thank goodness the extreme raging behavior with violence and extreme mood swings he exhibited months ago has subsided; it makes it much easier to communicate with him and for him to address the challenges he faces.

Things are not perfect but are better. I am so thankful for the help from our county and associated programs; these have been the most effective to this point, in comparison to other attempts at helping him in the past.

 

[lovemysons]

Hi Maril,

Does sound like some good news...especially glad to hear the raging behaviors have subsided. My difficult child's are now in their 20's and I still see raging/mood swings from both of them on occasion but they are becoming less and less as the years go by. It's so hard for our difficult child's to calm down and think first...it sounds like the interventions you have in place for your difficult child are working, that's so good.

If I'm correct I recall you saying something about your difficult child having some heart issues like my young difficult child...how did things turn out?
Mine did not end up with a pacemaker but did end up with a heart monitor placed in his chest. He too suffers alot of anxiety.

Thinking about you,
Tammy

 

[maril]

I suppose it takes time both to determine the cause then be able to work on what's needed to help quell rages. I imagine seeing your sons' progress over the years has given you a measure of peace. My difficult child sometimes still becomes frustrated and angry but has been able to avert the rages. One day at a time! He has anger management therapy coming up, too; waiting to hear back from the facility.

Is your son doing okay these days? I see he has the heart monitor and hope all goes well. I remember your previous posts and your concerns. As far as my difficult child, over time, studies for heart and chest symptoms have not shown anything out of the ordinary and I am thankful for that; also, causes have been narrowed down to likely musculoskeletal and stuff that comes along with being an athlete; plus, difficulty with breathing he has had probably related to anxiety; manageable things.

I can relate to my difficult children chronic anxiety and the effects it has, which can be disabling.

Thanks so much for your concern and support.

 

[lovemysons]

Your welcome Maril,
Glad to hear nothing serious is going on with your difficult child's heart.
My difficult child hasn't been to the hospital or Dr. lately in regard to his heart as far as I know. So at the moment, I guess he's doing fine in that area.


As for the rages...In the past my difficult child's have mostly exhibited raging when they are scared and want an immediate solution/answer to a problem. Particularly true in my oldest difficult child's case. Speaking quietly and calmly and not getting worked up myself helps to defuse the rages I think. Getting them to identify the whys and whats of their thinking helps too. Then maybe they can slow down and come to a workable solution to their problems....if that makes sense.

Hope the anger management classes help too.
by the way, do you go to Al Anon...I used to and really loved the support there.

All the best to you and yours,
Tammy

 

[maril]

Hey, thanks. The best to you and yours, also. Your input as a mom of sons older than mine is helpful. I have adult nephews, who had struggled as teens and in their early 20s and sound to be doing better as the years go on.

I have gone to a couple of meetings (AlAnon then NarAnon) in recent months. I do find the meetings helpful but am holding off on continuing to go until I am able to get assistance with hearing (in the process of applying through voc rehab for possible financial assistance/audiologist told me the process could take months). I feel it is useless for me to be in a public meeting if I am only catching bits and pieces of the conversation. I told my son this the other day and he agreed with me; he knows I struggle, yet am pursuing a solution to the problem.

Thanks, again. Have a good one.