Today was terrible. daughter missed the bus. She missed the bus because she was being defiant when I told her it was time to leave. I can't win in this situation. If I don't remind her, then I'm to blame for not telling her to leave. If I do remind her, then she's defiant and will not walk out the door. I have to literally push her out. Today she sat around til I said "time to go" then she says "Oh, I can't find my shoes" and "I need to go up to my room for something" and "I'm thirsty, let me get a drink of water" She ends up leaving late a couple of days a week. Sometimes she gets lucky and makes it, other times, like today she isn't so lucky. Ten minutes later, she comes back inside and I'm furious. I yelled a bit, told her that she is grounded for the day, no computer, no phone, no going with her friends anywhere. While I'm saying this I'm sitting at the table with my laptop and coffee. She grabs me and pushes me, causing my coffee to spill all over the laptop. Everything I've read says that the motherboard will likely be fried and the laptop will be dead and so far all of these computer experts seem to be correct because it won't power on. Now, my laptop isn't nearly as important as my child, but this is just another day like so many others. Each time, the broken items get more expensive. Phones, holes in walls (lots of them), furniture, a chandelier, toys that belong to the littles, remot controls, dishes, cabinet doors....the list goes on. Thousands of dollars worth of damage has been done to our house and it just won't stop. Not to mention the constant threats. "if you ground me I'll cut/kill myself/kill you/act worse til you give me what I want" I've tried giving more chores as discipline thinking that it will keep her busy, give her a sense of accomplishment and keep her body moving and her heart pumping. She just refuses to do what I ask and then runs up to her room to go to sleep. I've taken away priveleges like the computer or outings with friends, but when I do that she follows me around the house begging and then when I don't give in she gets violent. I've tried sending her to her room when she's having a tantrum but she refuses to go and if I try to restrain her she bites me or hits me or pulls my hair. Even the smallest thing results in a big deal, like today. All she had to do was walk out the door on time. That's all. She was ready to go, she just wanted to be defiant so it blew up. I got hit, damage to my computer, and she got herself in more trouble. I just don't know what to do. If I ignore her, let her brain rot in front of the computer all day and only talk to her when I'm doing something to make her happy, she'll not act this way in front of my little ones. If I try to get her to anything that isn't her idea, then this sort of thing happens. Even simple things. I don't ask for much. Go to bed, get up, go to school, do a few chores and refrain from cussing, threats, and violence. Other than that she can do as she pleases. I feel so hopeless right now, like there is no where to turn and I have to subject my little ones to this every day. I fear for their futures and mine if this doesn't end today.