recovering doormat
Lapsed CDer
I'm sorry to vent on what should be a joyful day, and I do have things to be thankful for, but I've got a nagging, grey cloud over me today.
Yesterday I discovered that my most valuable jewelry (wedding ring, engagment ring, pearl choker my ex bought for my wedding day, other pieces he bought me, worth about $20,000 in 1988 dollars) was mising from my my bureau drawer. Serves me right, I suppose, for keeping valuables there, but I did. It was stuff I no longer wear since I'm divorced from the man who bought it from me, but I was saving it for my children.
The jewelry was taken out of their boxes. I can't pinpoint when it was probably taken because I haven't looked in that drawer in probably weeks, maybe a month or more. There's no evidence to suggest I had a break-in, so the most likely thief/thieves were one of my three kids, or one of their friends/acquaintances.
In October I visited my brother out of town for the weekend and locked up my house because I was concerned that my kids, ages 12, 15 and 18, who were staying with their dad for the weekend, might be tempted to go in and have a party. When I got home I discovered that the two older ones had indeed entered the house with-o my permission and had some friends over. They left a sinkful of dirty dishes, clorox splotches in my sons' first floor bedroom where a friend vomited after he drank a Smirnoff cooler, and the aroma of stale bong water. I was furious but I did not call the cops and report it because my kids are troubled and already involved in misdemeanor offenses that are being litigated.
Never occured to me to check to see if any silver or jewelry was missing then.
So, yesterday I reported the theft to the police and the insurance company. The cops can't do much because there is no one suspect (did I leave the front door unlocked while I ran an errand so the 12 yr old could get into the house after school? ) and I couldn't be precise about when the last time I saw my jewelry was. We live in a cul de sac with a lot of older neighbors who are home all day, so we dont' have a history of break-ins in our street.
I questioned my 18 yr old yesterday, who pointed the finger at her brother, saying he had a couple of kids over that night that she didn't recognize. Today, he said that she actually had two older teen boys that she had met over Myspace but didn'tknow who they were. My youngest was not there that night, thank God.
I made the mistake yesterday of sharing this info with my mother, but we agreed not to discuss it with anyone else in the family and that it was not going to spoil our day today. She immediately thought it was my son or one of his friends, becasue he has a history of petty theft from my ex and I (he's lifted the occasional $20 bill from my wallet, until I stopped carry cash in favor of a debit card - I also don't have him over myhouse with-o knowing how much money is in my purse beforehand, and he got caught with a butter cookie tin full of my ex's loose change, in his backpack at school, that he was goiong to use to buy weeds.
Both the older daughter and her brother smoked weed together (not at my house) until about three weeks ago, when my daughter decided to go back on her medications and get a job after flunking out of her first semester of community college. Neither my ex nor I give the boy any cash at all because of his history of smoking marijuana.
I couldn't care less about the jewelry, but the thought that one of my kids, or one of their friends, would do something like this just makes me ill.
How do you show love for your children when you have such misgivings about their character ? Especially when you really can't prove anything?
I've decided that tomorrow I'll contact the cop who took my info and I will ask him to speak to both my children, separately, and if they think it will be useful I saved the containers the pieces were kept in, for fingerprints.
Sorry to unload this on all of you. I'm trying very hard to put a smile on my face so my siblings won't ask me what's wrong and I'll be tempted to blurt it out. They already have negative opinions about my kids and this is just so much worse than what I've dealt with in the past.
I wish it had been a break-in. Carrying this level of mistrust is so wearing.
Yesterday I discovered that my most valuable jewelry (wedding ring, engagment ring, pearl choker my ex bought for my wedding day, other pieces he bought me, worth about $20,000 in 1988 dollars) was mising from my my bureau drawer. Serves me right, I suppose, for keeping valuables there, but I did. It was stuff I no longer wear since I'm divorced from the man who bought it from me, but I was saving it for my children.
The jewelry was taken out of their boxes. I can't pinpoint when it was probably taken because I haven't looked in that drawer in probably weeks, maybe a month or more. There's no evidence to suggest I had a break-in, so the most likely thief/thieves were one of my three kids, or one of their friends/acquaintances.
In October I visited my brother out of town for the weekend and locked up my house because I was concerned that my kids, ages 12, 15 and 18, who were staying with their dad for the weekend, might be tempted to go in and have a party. When I got home I discovered that the two older ones had indeed entered the house with-o my permission and had some friends over. They left a sinkful of dirty dishes, clorox splotches in my sons' first floor bedroom where a friend vomited after he drank a Smirnoff cooler, and the aroma of stale bong water. I was furious but I did not call the cops and report it because my kids are troubled and already involved in misdemeanor offenses that are being litigated.
Never occured to me to check to see if any silver or jewelry was missing then.
So, yesterday I reported the theft to the police and the insurance company. The cops can't do much because there is no one suspect (did I leave the front door unlocked while I ran an errand so the 12 yr old could get into the house after school? ) and I couldn't be precise about when the last time I saw my jewelry was. We live in a cul de sac with a lot of older neighbors who are home all day, so we dont' have a history of break-ins in our street.
I questioned my 18 yr old yesterday, who pointed the finger at her brother, saying he had a couple of kids over that night that she didn't recognize. Today, he said that she actually had two older teen boys that she had met over Myspace but didn'tknow who they were. My youngest was not there that night, thank God.
I made the mistake yesterday of sharing this info with my mother, but we agreed not to discuss it with anyone else in the family and that it was not going to spoil our day today. She immediately thought it was my son or one of his friends, becasue he has a history of petty theft from my ex and I (he's lifted the occasional $20 bill from my wallet, until I stopped carry cash in favor of a debit card - I also don't have him over myhouse with-o knowing how much money is in my purse beforehand, and he got caught with a butter cookie tin full of my ex's loose change, in his backpack at school, that he was goiong to use to buy weeds.
Both the older daughter and her brother smoked weed together (not at my house) until about three weeks ago, when my daughter decided to go back on her medications and get a job after flunking out of her first semester of community college. Neither my ex nor I give the boy any cash at all because of his history of smoking marijuana.
I couldn't care less about the jewelry, but the thought that one of my kids, or one of their friends, would do something like this just makes me ill.
How do you show love for your children when you have such misgivings about their character ? Especially when you really can't prove anything?
I've decided that tomorrow I'll contact the cop who took my info and I will ask him to speak to both my children, separately, and if they think it will be useful I saved the containers the pieces were kept in, for fingerprints.
Sorry to unload this on all of you. I'm trying very hard to put a smile on my face so my siblings won't ask me what's wrong and I'll be tempted to blurt it out. They already have negative opinions about my kids and this is just so much worse than what I've dealt with in the past.
I wish it had been a break-in. Carrying this level of mistrust is so wearing.