How DUMB do you have to be ...

[Marg's Man]

to get caught by some of the tricks tried on by spammers.

Today alone I got a 'personal' email from the UBank General Manager telling me my ASP has expired. I've never heard of UBank and have no idea what an ASP is so there's no chance that I'll respond.

Another from a mob in Holland tell me I've won 750,000 Euros if I'll just send the transfer fee and all my bank details. Yeah - right.

And, of course there's all the lovely young ladies who saw my Facebook profile and instantly fell in love with me. Some even send their pictures, remarkable how alike they all are. Now I like clever girls (I married Marg didn't I?) but these girls must be something special. I don't have a Facebook account.

Some just make me laugh out loud.
I got a speeding ticket! for doing over 55 mph in Manhattan! Be a bit hard for me - never ever been to the States.
New Yorkers - is it physically possible to do 55 anywhere on Manhattan?

This one was so ridiculous that I had to share it with someone to start this thread.

What unlikely 'offers' have you had?

Marg's Man

 

[HaoZi]

At least yours are creative. I still have people trying the Nigerian scam on me.

 

[mstang67chic]

I wish you would have told me you were in Manhatten.....we could have had lunch! Maybe then we wouldn't have been speeding. LOL

 

[Marguerite]

I still chuckle at all the emails husband gets offering to increase the length and thickness of his - appendage. For a while we used to add up all the inches every day and have a competition to see how big it would get after a week. We came to the conclusion that being so well-endowed would be a distinct disadvantage, you would be tripping over it like Rapunzel's hair. Only a tad more uncomfortable for someone to climb up when you toss it out the tower window...

Or maybe just throw the darn thing over your arm and dress up as a fuel pump!

Marg

 

[Hound dog]

I'm currently getting spam emails from Nichole's old email acct. Although she told me when she stopped using it so I've not opened one. I haven't gotten any of the others in years.

 

[donna723]

Marg's Man, if you're not interested in all those women who saw your nonexistent Facebook profile, I can forward you some of the ones I get that offer to fix you up with Russian women!

Lately I've been getting these things that say that a bank transaction I made didn't go through (and they're not from my bank!) and others that say something about a package that wasn't delivered (when I didn't order anything). I get the ones offering to sell cut-rate Viagra and other drugs through the mail. A lot of this junk mail has misspelled words and grammatical errors and some of them sound like they were written by someone who doesn't speak English very well. And I get some that say they are from my internet provider but they're clearly not. They all end up in my spam folder and I delete the whole lot of them.

 

[InsaneCdn]

The bigger your footprint, the more bugs you get on your feet.

If you walk softly and mostly unnoticed on the internet - you will get very little spam.
Walk boldly... and you will know about it.

I think I've had 3 in the last YEAR.

 

[susiestar]

What I find funny are all the ones that try to convince me to use their "herbal" version of viagra to increase the quality of MY appendage. gee, how many guys are there outside of country music lyrics named Susie?? I haven't met any. I do agree with Marg and her Man that an appendage of that length would have distinct disadvantages. Esp for me - I beet my clothes would fit REALLY funny. Gee, maybe I should design a clothing line for women who have used those products and developed those appendages. After all, that IS what the makers are wanting me to do.

I get a lot of "sale at" this bank or that bank for this or that product. MANY of them tell me that my acct needs to have the info verified so that I can receive the bonus big bucks that are due to me.

I find many of these amusing.

 

[DammitJanet]

I had the one about Fedex. I have no idea what is in my spam folder most of the time because I never open it hardly ever. Rarely does anything actually get to my regular email and now I have a pretty private email I use for just important stuff. I use one email to sign up for websites that I need to have accounts with...this site, amazon, toysrus, etc. For places like my cell phone, go through my private email. Cuts down on my spam.

 

[AnnieO]

Interestingly, I got one from American Express recently.

And about 25 minutes later, I got another one - actually from AmEx - letting me know I'd be getting a new card and the old one was cancelled due to hackers, though they managed to shut the people down before they got past the email system, so no personal info was compromised.



I don't get many. I think because my maiden name was a witch to spell...

 

[Malika]

I am a little worried about my son's English, but this is much more worrying - an officer in the US army whose urgent letter to me is below. She clearly has an important function and was involved in the Iraq Peach Keeping Force (what was this mysterious and precious peach and why has it been kept so secret?) but still cannot make herself clear at all.

Good Day,
I am 2nd Lt Helen White an American Combat Soldier left behind in Iraq for Advisory and Assistance to Iraq Forces
after the Handing over to Iraq Peach Keeping Force, During my services I
was been able to secure the amount of Eight Million Five Hundred thousand Dollar($8.5 million U.S Dollars).

Which I have already taken secretly and secured through one of my colleague in a Security company in London for security and Safety Purpose these company have branches in Asia/Africa and Middleeast as well, I want to hand over this funds to a TrustWorthy Person that we help me keep it till I am back from the Camp in Baghdad Iraq December 2011.

Since Our Final Troops is leaving Iraq 2011.If you are Interested in
this Offer kindly contact me.

You will find the story of this money on the web address below. After we
have summated the remaining part

(BBC NEWS | Middle East | US soldiers find Iraqi cash fortune)
BBC NEWS | Middle East | Stash of money found in Baghdad)

Please kindly keep this transaction Confidential because I am still
serving in the Military camp in Baghdad Iraq.
Trusting that you wont betray me.
2nd Lt, Helen White.

 

[AnnieO]

*snicker*

Wow, I'm IMPRESSED! LOL any military I know wouldn't identify themselves as military if they "secured" 8.5 mother in law!

...And knowing what even our officers are paid... Umm... HOW?

 

[DS3]

Being from upstate NY (and I got the same email last week, and had to check it out. Definitely spam. Contained a trojan that the anti-virus caught too), it is possible to speed over 55. In Brooklyn though, have no idea. At least my email said it was near the area I use to live. Give them credit there, but we haven't driven in NYS for 3 years now, and the car they said did it was totaled in August.

I got emails saying someone wanted to give me millions, addressed to people I had never heard from, and saying that I had free items waiting for me. I usually delete but had to check the NYS one so that I could forward it to NYS DMV as spam.

DS3

to get caught by some of the tricks tried on by spammers.

Today alone I got a 'personal' email from the UBank General Manager telling me my ASP has expired. I've never heard of UBank and have no idea what an ASP is so there's no chance that I'll respond.

Another from a mob in Holland tell me I've won 750,000 Euros if I'll just send the transfer fee and all my bank details. Yeah - right.

And, of course there's all the lovely young ladies who saw my Facebook profile and instantly fell in love with me. Some even send their pictures, remarkable how alike they all are. Now I like clever girls (I married Marg didn't I?) but these girls must be something special. I don't have a Facebook account.

Some just make me laugh out loud.
I got a speeding ticket! for doing over 55 mph in Manhattan! Be a bit hard for me - never ever been to the States.
New Yorkers - is it physically possible to do 55 anywhere on Manhattan?

This one was so ridiculous that I had to share it with someone to start this thread.

What unlikely 'offers' have you had?

Marg's Man

 

[DS3]

*snicker*

Wow, I'm IMPRESSED! LOL any military I know wouldn't identify themselves as military if they "secured" 8.5 mother in law!

...And knowing what even our officers are paid... Umm... HOW?

You can look up the 'ranges' for pay grades and MOS online with a quick search. Not that hard. It's also published frequently when there are changes made in the Army Times.

 

[AnnieO]

Yes, you're right DS3 - but. The signature blocks aren't like that (as you know)... And I still have no idea how they would "secure" that much money.

 

[Malika]

Still, you have to applaud her generosity in thinking of me.

 

[AnnieO]

Still, you have to applaud her generosity in thinking of me.

Very true!!

 

[Marg's Man]

I been a B-A-A-A-D boy!

Just five (count them - FIVE!) more tickets from NY. The only my car would do 55 mph would if I pushed it off a cliff!

Ain't we got fun?

Marg's Man

 

[Star*]

See? I don't get these kinds of emails.......No. I can just stand in line at a Wendy's hamburger joint and have on a tshirt advertising a car auction and some guy starts up a conversation with me asking me if I know where to get a near cheap car. I say no. Just had the T shirt. Then starts telling me his boss is an Ahole, he got kicked out of his house, he's in need of a vehicle, had just dumped like $2200.00 into his 1999 Ford Explorer pickup truck - red in color, fixed the transmission, the windows, the timing belt is replaced, and got new seat covers with dragons on them.....and did an oil change with a new filter.....and then the ******* stabbed him in the back and now he has no place to live so he's looking for a cheap car. Thought maybe the place on my tshirt would be a good place to start, did I want to buy his truck? It would at least give him money for a motel for a few weeks. OMG....are you kidding ?????? Do I have I am nice and give a rats patootie written on my face?

So then I whip out my list of -HERE I do give a hang and all the places that we told DUde to go when we kicked him out - and handed it to the guy - and (yes I had copies) and said - Try these local help/shelters and BEST OF LUCK TO YOU....then he yells out - WHERE IS THIS PLACE? and I stopped with my burger in hand - and my car still sitting at the pump -----and I'm tired...OMG am I tired.....ended up giving him directions, wishing him best of luck, rubbing his arm - telling him it will be okay and I'll keep him in my prayers........and I will....and did.....but SEE?

I need NOOOOOOOO freaky email. THIS HAPPENS like........OH about 3-4 times a week.

Ikeep looking for the neon sign.........but I swear it's invisible to me via the mirror. I should get th ticket.........from running away at a high speed from these people. (probably the same kind that lost all their money on the male enhancement drugs and thats why they don't have a job anymore) UGH.