I worked at my job several years with perfect attendance and overtime weekly...never took vacation time, simply took cash in lieu of vacation time, as we seriously needed the cash. difficult child began to get more symptomatic and wrap, sass, respite, mentor, were not helpful enough, more often made things even more difficult for difficult child and my job.....and husband did not work due to his own serious health issues.
Eventually I took FML, but, then difficult child became so obviously much worse that by the time she was in middle school, it was very clear something had to dramatically change. Sadly about the same time I was faced with life threatening illness of my own....
I wound up being unable to work. The side benefit was with me home, things did change, for the better, except, of course, for financially. Financially we were devastated. Then when my son hurt his eye it became even more clear, I would not be able to go back to work anytime soon, becuz his eye involved making a 5 hour trip one way every week for over a year. And it involved treatment for his eye that others may not properly attend to.
THere was a very short time husband and I both did work, and we ALWAYS worked opposite shifts from each other becuz we never could find child care for difficult child. Plus the cost of chiild care was actually more than what I made at my jobs back then.
It sure is not always easy to find the good balance in meeting all the needs of all the members of a family. :-( Illness of almost any type in very many families does create difficult issues. Caregivers are not always easy to find, and are often prohibitively expensive. Jobs can be very hard to hold when you have dependants of any age to provide care for, and paying for the care can require some to learn to be quite creative. This can be true whether it is your children, your spouse or your parents who require supervision or care.