How to handle the "latest and greatest" with AH

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Aug 7, 2010.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    The whole time that difficult child 1 was in the hospital, AH called him once and showed up exactly once.

    Now, I found out, purely by chance that he cashed in about $3000.00 worth of stock and put it in a local account. The account has not been used or perused in almost a year. I told him NOT to cash in stock until we determined jointly that it was necessary LONG before this happened. Putting it in the local account (to me) was an attempt at being sneaky.

    The only reason I found out was I was going through the piles of mail that has been kicking around for forever and a day and noticed that everything associated with this account and the stock was missing. Pretty slick huh?

    I'm furious - so while I'm getting beaten up on an almost daily basis, this jerk is sneaking around. I guess it's time to make some major decisions here.

    The best part is since this total moron refused to give me his address, I'll get to have him served at work. I'll have to arrange with the process server to tell me when he's going (his whole work crew is there at 7:30 am, hmmm sounds like a fun time!) so I can sit in a car and videotape his reaction.

    I'm fit to be tied!

    Talk me down ladies, before I go off half-cocked and do something rash!

  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Serve him. And enjoy every minute of it.

    Maybe you can tell I haven't had the best couple of days...but still, he needs to be held accountable for his sneakiness. Useless Boy stole nearly $7000 from Miss KT about a year ago, and unfortunately I have no recourse, and I'm still mad about it.
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    You need a laywer and fast. I'm so sorry but not surprised. He's earned his AH title honestly. I wish this wasn't happening but please take necessary steps to protect yourself and the kids. Love and hugs, ML
    Lasted edited by : Aug 8, 2010
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    An attorney...a shark of an attorney...
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Make SURE that you have a real shark of a lawyer. Ask everyone you know who is divorced or who knows someone who is divorced which spouse got shafted. Ask for the name of the other party's lawyer. This is NO time to take it "easy" on AH. What you are fighting for isn't just for you, it is support for your children until you can get back on your feet and find employment that will pay a living wage. Do NOT forget retirement and pension plans!!

    I am sorry he is such a jerk about this. And that you are dealing with physical violence from your child.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Yeah, I've been married for 17 years in September. I talked to him about it today - what a flippin' liar! He thinks that after knowing him for nearly 20 years that I don't know when he's lying. He claims that it was all money from vouchers that he hadn't submitted.

    I told him that I knew that he took out $1200 in cash and wanted to know if he used it to retain an attorney. "No". He gave me a bunch of bs that he was going to use it to pay for the bed he bought.

    I'm just so sick of him showing up here, barking at the kids, lying to me & lecturing me and messing them up. Then he leaves and I have to pick up all the pieces. I have literally not been alone in over 18 mos. Never. Not 10 mins. I'm stretched to the end.

    difficult child 1 is still off the deep end. He wants me to get a divorce and get him a real father. The other two are on the fence, but difficult child 2 feels like if he says that he's not sure difficult child 1 will go after him. difficult child 3 is so darn clingy I feel like if I had to have a colonoscopy the doctor would have to ask her to move out of the way!

    He's just being a total tool.

    Are we allowed to quit?

  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    You need to lawyer up like last week. I agree with the others: for this you need the sharkiest divorce lawyer you can find.
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Beth, I'm so sorry that AH is truly living up to his new title. I wholeheartedly agree with the others. Find the sharkiest shark out there, ask 'em who they would use if they were in the midst of an ugly divorce, and then hire THAT guy. (This is speaking from experience as one who is still dealing with the fallout from a messy divorce in which my lawyer was the "nice" one)

    Sending many hugs, and some battle armour. And a seat belt for the bumpy road ahead.

  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I agree to find a lawyer.

    I also think you need to find a sitter for when those papers get served, find you a couple girlfriends to sit in that car with you, and get your money's worth out of that show. You NEED that break.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Lawyer. Lawyer. Lawyer. TODAY.

    Is he not even having visitation with the kids? If so you have a strong case for sole custody based on his lack of visitation.

    A part of me says to drive over to his place and leave the difficult children there for a few hours whether he likes it or not, but that would probably mess up the kids even more. Is there a church that could help you find someone to watch them for a little while on a weekend if you don't have a friend who will help you? Can you try to arrange for the kids to go to their friends all at the same time (if they have friends)? I am just grasping at straws.

    We have a parents assistance center in our town (coordinates DV stuff and parenting classes, etc...) that will help in situations like yours where one parent is dealing with the kids with no help from the other parent. Is there something similar in your area? The United Way in our area has info on a number of services available. You might try them in your area to see if they have something that might help.