How to pick a treatment facility?

[Mikey]

Okay, so I'm at the point of proposing that difficult child get some kind of in-patient help. Drugs, while a factor, are not the primary issue. difficult child has already been put on notice that we're about done taking his crap, and that if he wants the benefits of family life he needs to start acting like a member of the family.

Or else.

I left the "or else" open for the moment, because it may include a trip to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and I know nothing about how to choose a treatment facility, which ones are worth using, which ones to stay away from, and which type of treatment he needs.

I've seen success stories here, and I've heard absolute nightmares about facilities. How do you choose? How do you know if a facility is actually going to help, or is simply a "drug 'em and charge 'em" lock-up warehouse for problem kids? (I've actually heard that about one or two facilities already).

If it comes to moving difficult child somewhere else, I only want to do it if it gives him the chance to get better. I'm not looking to "get rid" of him, get a vacation from him, or put him some place where he can learn to really polish up his difficult child skills and come out worse than before.

How to you know what/where to choose? Thoughts and suggestions from those of you who have been there done that are most welcome.

Thanks,
Mikey

 

[Mikey]

Hey Mod - maybe this should be moved to the "General" forum?

Mikey

 

[mom_in_training]

Lol Mikey, I am not a mod but will say that I am positive that others will be along to give you some valuable input regarding RTCS. Due to my difficult children age range I personally never experienced the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) options.

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> have you considered an EGBS ~~~ emotional growth boarding school ~~~ instead of a standard Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?

there is a good site where you can investigate this option: http://www.strugglingteens.com . lon woodbury is an Easy Child with-a great reputation.

kris
</span> </span> </span>

 

[judi]

Hi Mikey - we did Residential Treatment Center (RTC) x2 with our son - did absolutely nothing for him and cost megabucks. I am very fortunate that our insurance picked up most of the cost ($71,000 for six weeks). At the end of the six weeks we were told basically that our son isn't mentally ill, he is behaviorally disordered. Okay, so where did we go from there? We tried a boot camp Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but it was voluntary and he left after three weeks.

Overall, it didn't help. However, there are some folks here who have had fantastic results, so hopefully they will be along to talk with you.

 

[KFld]

Hi Mikey,
Not sure what area you are from, but sometimes I know where I live, it all comes down to who has a bed available and how long you can wait. I know when we first discovered our sons heroin addiction he was in really rough shape and we spent 2 days on the phone trying to get him into anywhere he could possibly go. You'd be amazed how long you could have to wait for a bed in some of these facilities. I was shocked when we first started this journey.
I found the state facility was the one that worked the best for my son. I'm in CT. and they will only take you if you have state, or no insurance and usually you are referred there by the courts, which my son was. We had private insurance at the time, but because the judge sent him there, they had to take him. It was extremeley structured and he was there for 45 days. Many places won't keep you long enough. He went to a detox facility a few times before that where they keep you for 4 or 5 days, just long enough to detox and then they sent him out the door with no skills to continue staying clean. It was really rediculous.

The ones that keep you the longest are usually the ones that can teach you the most skills. In the end though, they are only going to get out of it what they want to. My son went to many facilities and it wasn't until he was ready that they really did any good.

If you tell us what state you are from, then others may have some good ideas on who to check out.

 

[Suz]

My son went to a "dual diagnostic" Residential Treatment Center (RTC)---it treated for mental illness AND substance abuse. He was in trouble with the law so his PO worked our local MHMR (mental health/mental retardation) and his school district to determine that it was time to send him there. MHMR and his school district picked up the tab.

I have mixed feelings about his placement. He certainly had the best therapist there that he'd ever had. She was terrific. He also had a wonderful PO. He did make great strides that year, only to backslide when he moved next to a group home where his new therapist took a whole different approach...that ended up backfiring.

Still...I am grateful that these places kept him safe and supervised and at that stage he was so messed up that those things were our top priorities.

In your shoes, I would start with my insurance company to see if they have any recommendations. Also, call your local MHMR to see if they have any suggestions. I think you also need to determine what kind of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) you are looking for....MH or Substance abuse or a combination of both. Short or long term? If you difficult child has a therapist, include him/her in the decision. Ask around.

I can move this to General if you like. Let me know.

Suz

 

[Mikey]

We live in the KC area, so either Kansas or MO would work.

Not sure about the type of facility, since we're pretty sure that his primary problem isn't drugs (although it is a problem, and needs to be addressed).

Mikey

 

[Mikey]

We live in the KC area, so either Kansas or MO would work.

Not sure about the type of facility, since we're pretty sure that his primary problem isn't drugs (although it is a problem, and needs to be addressed).

Mikey

 

[CAmom]

Hi Mikey,

I'm in CA (duh!--CAMom...), but, if you're interested in sending your son this far away, I think the system my son is involved with is wonderful!

I understand CA has really tried very hard to provide numerous excellent programs for kids at risk in what seems a very sincere effort to keep them out of jail.

My husband and I are utterly amazed at the services being provided which include drug/alcohol counseling, individual and group counseling, all with a psychiatrist and/or psychologist; and training in life skills, social development, personal documentation, work and study skills, coummunity resources, money management, tasks of daily living, etc.

Now, if only my son would take advantage of all this...

You can send me a private message, if you like, and I can give you the name of this service.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Our daughter went to a couple of private facilities when she was sub-18 and we had insurance, that focused on mental health with substance abuse. Laureate Center in Tulsa was one, I think they have other locations too. After majority she has been on state aid (Illinois) and admitted to some programs that take that. Results have been mixed -- we always have had a period, ranging from 5 days up to a year, when she's stayed clean and on her medications after Residential Treatment Center (RTC) -- but ultimately she has relapsed every time so far. I don't think it makes much odds between high-dollar private centers (I get the feeling you have an issue there, as do I) and state-run facilities. in my opinion it comes down to your difficult child. If he's not committed then any solution is going to be temporary. I'll second what KFld said:<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The ones that keep you the longest are usually the ones that can teach you the most skills. In the end though, they are only going to get out of it what they want to. My son went to many facilities and it wasn't until he was ready that they really did any good. </div></div> also, I'll second Suz:<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Still...I am grateful that these places kept him safe and supervised and at that stage he was so messed up that those things were our top priorities.</div></div>
Our daughter is at an assessment interview for a state-run facility at this very moment. I hope they can give her a bed. At this point for her it's anywhere that'll take her, period. This center she's being assessed at works with the courts and she's in legal trouble so we're hoping that'll help get her placed. Staying out of jail, even if it's in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) which may feel like much the same thing, is a powerful incentive.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CAmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Hi Mikey,

I'm in CA (duh!--CAMom...), but, if you're interested in sending your son this far away, I think the system my son is involved with is wonderful!

I understand CA has really tried very hard to provide numerous excellent programs for kids at risk in what seems a very sincere effort to keep them out of jail.

My husband and I are utterly amazed at the services being provided which include drug/alcohol counseling, individual and group counseling, all with a psychiatrist and/or psychologist; and training in life skills, social development, personal documentation, work and study skills, coummunity resources, money management, tasks of daily living, etc.

Now, if only my son would take advantage of all this...

You can send me a private message, if you like, and I can give you the name of this service. </div></div>Just as an aside, and if this verges too much into the political please forgive me, I have increasingly thought and said that this sort of approach rather than a strictly criminal law-enforcement one, IOW proactive rather than reactive, will result in cost savings and lower crime and prison populations. Sorta like the broken-windows philosophy that did so much good for New York.

OK, off of my soap box and back to the topic at hand...

 

[Sue C]

Something no one has mentioned yet....I believe if your son is 16 or older, he can refuse to be admitted.

Sue

 

[mom_in_training]

Sue, I'm glad you brought that up. You are correct when you say that he can refuse. I tried to get my difficult child into a program that was willing to take her but all it took was for her to say "No Way" I think she was 16 1/2 at the time. They stopped talking and that was that. I was not a happy camper to discover that they give minors the power to just say no and leave it at that. But I also understand that there is no point in trying when you have a difficult child that is not being cooperative. People have to want to change for any treatment to be effective. An unwilling participant would be somebody that is not ready to admit that they have a problem or someone that just absolutely refuses treatment of any kind.

 

[DDD]

The most successful placements that I have read of on the board
were EGBS placements (emotional growth boarding schools). They
are also the most expensive. Usually they require 2nd mortgage
financing etc. as it is as expensive as college HOWEVER...most of
our children will not make it to college unless they get intensive help.

We did three substance abuse programs. The first two were private pay and the initial placement was recommended by a lady
who was the retired head of the Department of Juvenile Justice office. Sadly, the facility
had changed hands and management and my husband and I are convinced
it harmed our son by association with experienced criminals. The
2nd private placement was very good but out boy had learned to
"buck" at the first placement and he ended up being discharged
by personnel. The 3rd placement was Department of Juvenile Justice.

IF we could go back...my husband and I would have mortgaged the business and the house and sent easy child/difficult child to an EGBS. We just did
NOT get that his whole life depended on those first choices. DDD

by the way, he could have refused placement legally but he was not openly defiant then..or now. So sad.

 

[AliceLee]

Hi Mikey, I have researched quite a few Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, but so far my adult daughter won't consent...

However, I know that the HBO web site with all the "Addiction" (series) info. had a page about how to choose one. Here's the web site:

http://www.hbo.com/addiction/treatment/index.html?current=2


Hope this helps!

 

[judi]

I used an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Rolla, MO (the only one my insurance would cover). They had the mentally ill, substance abuse and a closed and locked unit for sexual predators. It was well-run, their state surveys were good, the staff training was excellent, etc.. I am an advanced practice nurse and asked for recommendations and went with husband to see facility prior to placing son there.

However, without a doubt you have to have some "buy-in" from your child. Without that, there is no help, no matter how wonderful the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is.

 

[Suz]

In PA kids can refuse medical interventions at 14. We were lucky (?) because Rob's PO was driving his placement so he couldn't refuse.

Suz

 

[Sue C]

When we put Angela (she was 16) in the private, Christian short-term drug rehab facility, we did not tell her she could say no. Apparently, they did not, either. It was much later when Angela told us that if she had known she could say no, she would have. C'est la vie.

I really really wish we could have sent Melissa to emotional growth boarding school. I think she would have benefited from it so much. If I could do it all over again, I would send her.

Sue

 

[SunnyFlorida]

Mikey,
I think your post would generate alot of comments in General, but your issues are on this board and in Teens/SA. In General...they are not there yet. Just MHO. :blush:

Finding a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was what pushed me to find this wonderful board. difficult child 2 had stolen from us and I pressed charges. I THOUGHT/PLANNED that difficult child would go to some program through our state Department of Juvenile Justice. Little did I know that difficult child wasn't bad enough and didn't earn enough points so he didn't go anywhere. difficult child 2 was 15 and husband and I were not going to spend our savings trying to treat someone who had no intention of saving himself. We felt that we could help after he turned himself around. That has proved today a good choice as he is 19 and in school. We'll see though as the jury is still out.

difficult child 1 however has addiction and mental health issues. We've tried IOP intensive outpatient programs x2 and unless difficult child is willing to buy into the whole thing...it's a waste of time and copays. Our insurance wouldn't cover a 28day program for pot. Alcohol yes, prescription drugs yes...but not pot. To them and many it's a psychological addiction and not physical enough to warrant medical intervention. (basically alcohol causes DT's which has a medical component as does Rx drugs).

There are websites that show all the programs that are licensed for your state.

At his age, he does have a choice as to whether he'll attend and do the program. Let's hope that difficult child's actions don't create the type of crisis that makes it become either treatment or jail.