Well he's due home sometime today. Not quite sure when, because the only time I talked to him since he left was when he called and asked me what I want to keep from the cabin because he contacted a realestate agent up there to list it. I told him I don't really want anything from it and that it wasn't even something I could think about at the moment. My father is here still, until tomorrow. The only time I have had to myself to think about anything that is happening with my life has been when I go to bed at night. I got one good nights sleep and that was it. It has been downhill ever since. I'm realizing my h is not as devestated about this turn of events in our lives as everyone thought he was going to be. He was playing the victim. I'm the one who didn't give him enough attention, so he had to go find it somewhere else. Now he has skipped over the part of dealing with any of it and moved right into how he will financially protect himself. He has people convinced that he wants nothing more but to save our marriage and that if I would just learn to be more affectionate we could work on it, but I don't really see that as being the case. Even his mother made a comment to me the other day, after our long heart to heart a few days earlier, that maybe if I could just hold his hand more often and something about it being the job of a wife to make her husband happy. I have turned myself inside out to make him happy for 27 years and just because we aren't chemically made up the same way to have the same intimate needs I have been made to feel like there is something wrong with me and I am inadequate. Who would want to be intimate with someone who has made you feel like something is wrong with you for most of your marriage. I've decided to tell his mom that it unfair of me to even talk to her because I don't in anyway want her to feel she is betraying her own son, and I don't want her to ever feel like I'm asking her to choose. She is his mother and whether she feels he's right or wrong, in the end she will still be his mother. The only thing I am going to ask of her is to not believe it's that cut and dry. It's not just as easy as I couldn't give him enough attention, he needed to get it somewhere else and now I'm leaving him. There is years of so much more behind it. I know when h gets home today he is going to want to talk. I need to set him straight that I have not even had time to think and gather my thoughts, so there is nothing to talk about right now. I need space and time. I will get that tomorrow when he moves out and my dad heads back to Florida. By the way, I have had about 3 people who know my h well and have tried to stay neutral and not want to get involved, let me know without actually telling me, that this is not the first time he has been with someone else. His closest friend keeps making comments to me that he could tell me so much more, but feels it would be betraying his best friend. Just the way he's saying it, without actually saying it, I think he's trying to give me warning. There have been 2 other people who have pretty much done the same thing. Doesn't surprise me in the least!!!!!