Husband on his way home from VT

[nvts]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KFld</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I am alone and I know I need to do this.

I'm kind of scared that it's hitting me all at once, but I know I have to do this. </div></div>

Hi! You're NOT alone. We're here, and your Mom is there. Feel the sense of her in the room and know that her strength is there to support you. All those pieces came together for a reason, and she's there in spirit. :angel:

Allow yourself the luxury of a good cry, yell and holler if you want to. You've been injured spiritually and emotionally. Mourning is hard enough without someone injecting betrayal as well.

If you're so inclined, get yourself a pint of Haagen Daz, get a really good movie and cry through those too. Enjoy the fact that you CAN and without an audience. Don't let anyone tell you not to cry and get over it. You will when you will, but you <u>will</u> get through it and believe you me, you're a great person now, but you'll be a better person for having dealt with the experiences.

Let us know how you're doing through the course of the evening...we're all here for you!

Beth

 

[skeeter]

Karen - NO NO NO!!!

You are NOT alone. We are all here for you, any time, day or night.

I like Beth's idea - I would suggest something chocolate and, oh, say "Titanic". No - wait - I got it. "First Wife's Club"!!!

We'll all be loaning you "our" strength in the days to come.

 

[KFld]

Actually, my easy child daughter saved me tonight. She came home from work and said, lets go grocery shopping and get what we need for the week. We did that, then we stopped by difficult child's apartment because she hadn't seen that yet.

We came in with the groceries and she started chucking all the old crap in the freezer and refrigerator and said we needed to start fresh. So now I have a clean freezer and refrigerator and we made sure to buy some healthy food that would be easy for either of us to throw together.

I know this will take getting used to and I cannot mistake being a little lonely for the wrong feelings. I have to remember when I'm lonely the things that he has done and how he has made me feel.

Right now I'm having a nice glass of wine and I'm going to read my book that I neglected, that was supposed to be done by bookclub night tomorrow night. I am having it at my house and I am going to try and finished my book. If I don't finish it by tomorrow, I'll make sure I finish it before starting the next one. I love to read and I know that will be my savior on many nights.

Have a good night ladies and send me some sleepy dust so I can get a good nights sleep :smile:

 

[WhymeMom?]

If the wine doesn't do it, look out for the sleepy dust coming your way.....Thank goodness for easy child daughters!!!

 

[busywend]

sleepy dust....................................................

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...............................................................

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:future:

 

[susiestar]

Sending hugs and sleepy dust zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Good Night
Sleep Tight
Know that it will all be all right.

Here is a lullaby you can sing to yourself. Or to easy child. I created it for my daughter, Jessie, the night after she was born. We will put your name in for her's.

I love ME
In the morning light.
I love ME
when it's dark at night.

I love ME
In the afternoon
I love ME
Underneath the moon

I love ME
No matter what she does
I love ME
Just because.

Just Because.


(Sometimes a silly vers is thrown in before the last one:
I love ME
When I eat corn-on-the-cob
I love ME
When I giggle at SpongeBob

or:

I love ME
When I eat an apple
I love me
When somebody takes my Snapple
(this verse created when my 2yo daughter snuck behind me and drank most of a glass of Snapple - a rare treat for us due to budgeting)

You may put your own name or a loved one's name in place of the ME. It originally had Jessica, but I also used it for my difficult child and for Tyler. And for husband when he had pneumonia and I sang to him all night.

Hugs,

Susie

ps. You really don't want to imagine this in my voice. I am a terrible singer - even got paid in candy NOT to sing during Mass as a child!!

 

[Scent of Cedar I]

WHOA!

Did he have you sign to list the property, or sign to sell it?

I say this weekend would be a really good time for a trip to Vermont.

Just to see what the situation is there, really.

Take Ethel with you and spend the night. :smile:

Star's advice was good advice.

As was the post about STDs.

If the marriage is ending, then you have to look at it like the dissolution of a business partnership that it is.

It has nothing to do with love.

Not anymore.

And it doesn't matter (other than the STD thing) WHAT husband has been doing with his genitals, or how many times, or with whom. What matters is that he was not there for YOU when you needed him.

So, what kind of husband is that?

Barbara

 

[KFld]

We signed to list the property. It is in both of our names, as is everything we own, including his business. I do have one credit card in my name only, but he has nothing in just his name.

As far as the property in VT. they will need my signature to sell if they find a buyer.

 

[WhymeMom?]

If I were you I would go out and get my own personal account. I can't remember if you work outside the home for $$$, but if I had any income I would be starting to separate it from his. Now the difficult part is if you are paying the bills from his income. If HE chooses to set up a separate account you will lose his income for paying home expenses. He will undoubtedly come to this conclusion at some point that he doesn't want to pay for a home he isn't living in....hoping he will be decent about it....

 

[nvts]

Hey! How are you doing tonight? Just wanted you to know we're thinking about you!

Hope to hear from you soon! Did you finish the book?

Beth

 

[busywend]

How is the alone time going?

Your daughter is a sweetie!!

 

[PonyGirl]

Thinking of you my friend

((((HUGE HUGS))))

Peace

 

[KFld]

Actually, it's going pretty good. I'm sleeping a little better because I have other times besides when I go to bed to think about things, though I did wake up around an hour earlier then I had to be up this morning and when I started thinking about things I started getting angrier and angrier, so I just got up and started my day a little earlier.

Called h's cell phone yesterday afternoon to give him a message that was left on our voicemail from one of his customers. He felt the need to let me know that he was at the bar with one of his lesbian friends. I guess that is his way of thinking he's letting me know he's not out doing something wrong???? Who cares? I just said,oh o.k., just wanted to give your your message.
After that I decided I needed a new plan for messages for now. So what I will do is get a sticky pad, jot down any messages left for him and leave them on the dashboard of his work truck in the morning so when he comes to get it, he will get his messages. In the meantime I'm going to try and figure out how to set up seperate voicemails on the phone so they can press 1 to speak to me and 2 to leave him a message, then he can call and get his own messages.

He met with my girlfriend yesterday for lunch. This is how stupid he is. He really feels he can confide in my bestfriend and she's not going to come back and tell me EVERYTHING!!!!

He is out seeking others to satisfy his needs, to put it nicely. He told her about one girl he met and someone told him to sleep with her, but he didn't. Then he tells her he's glad he didn't because he found out she had someone else over the other night and who knows what kind of diseases she may have. Funny, I thought he should have said, I didn't because I want to prove to Karen that I want to save our marriage and I know that won't get me anywhere!!!!

I could tell him right now I want a divorce, but I really want him to bury himself a little further so that nobody will be able to question me as to why I would want a divorce.

I'm glad I have such a great sense of humor. I'm almost enjoying parts of this.

I think an alien must have abducted him????? Hopefully they won't return him to soon :smile:

easy child daughter and I had a nice dinner together last night, then ran a few errands. It's nice that her boyfriend works most nights so we have been spending some much needed time together.

 

[busywend]

He TOLD your BEST friend this!?!?!?!? He has lost it.

:faint: :nonono: :hypnosis:

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, gawd, Karen. He's confiding in your best friend, and he's sooo way off base. You're right. He's burying himself.

I agree that you should no longer confide in his mother about the relationship. She shouldn't have to choose sides. There are plenty of other things for you to talk about.

I like the idea of sep. vox mail.

Your daughter is a gem.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[totoro]

I am glad you are able to see the comedy in his his stupidity!!! Him confiding in your boyfriend is insane... this just shows how some/most men think... not with their heads. Not the ones on their shoulders at least... (sorry)
I am so sorry you are going through this, but thank goodness him hopefully making the whole divorce process much easier... and how nice for the time with your daughter!!!

MEN!!! sometimes...