Thanks everyone, I've known for a long time it was a bad situation & I've had divorce papers stashed in a drawer, I just couldn't get him to leave. He'd just yell 'you'll never make it without me....etc...' Anyway, he's out now & with all of the therapists, psychiatrists, neurologists and peds involved, I don't see him attempting to come back. He knows DS13 is talking to the therapist. We all are. Everything is out in the open. It's not just me against him anymore. I finally have a support system. So far, it's ok, my panic won't kick in full force until husband goes into psycho mode...which will probably be when he realizes it's permanent. In which case a TPO will be in order. But we're not there yet. Maybe since he's living at his parents, he won't go crazy, who knows. Maybe they can help keep him calm. husband can be....different at times. He doesn't like feeling out of control. But my neighbors are great people. This is a tight community. We watch each others kids, most of us are involved in everything with our kids and seems like we've known each other forever. And THEY ALL know how husband is. I've had a few neighbors at my door asking how they can help over the years. They hear the yelling. They hear it all. And it's humiliating to be standing out in the garage and have your husband telling you how stupid you are because there is dirt on the garage floor....believe me, they know. And it's not that I'm weak, I just got tired of having to constantly defend every single thing, every tiny decision. And believe me, I know I should have just walked, but where? That was the whole issue. When ever I found a job, husband would call and start screaming into the phone etc... totally nuts. Then as the kids got older, I didn't feel the least bit comfortable leaving him with the kids, so I just stayed home. After a while, he started staying gone on the weekends and stayed in his room every other day. He'd just yell from behind the door. Keep the kids quiet, what was that noise? etc.... At 5pm! My youngest didn't even get home from school till 4! It's a wonder he was so hyped up. He was stuck in the house (can't ruin the grass), but no noise aloud...Whatever....I'm done, been done, I was just waiting for him to go....Maybe that's why I got so many people involved this time. I figured there'd be no turning back and MAYBE we can finally live in peace. I know it'll be hard, but I have a great family who's more than willing to help. I found out I qualify for SNAP. Just have to figure out how to use it? I'm supposedly getting a card in the mail. So at least there will be food. They did give the kids Medicaid as a secondary insurance. So what blue cross doesn't pay, Medicaid will. Which was actually my bigger worry. One of DS's medications is INSANELY expensive. The other one isn't too bad. But other than that, I'm totally lost. Everything is in husband name. Can't even call long distance, cuz husband got mad when I called my brother once, so about 5 years ago, he put a block on the home phone. When he left, he took his cell phone, which I had used after he would get home from work to call DS's docs etc... But when I called the phone company, they won't lift the block without husband's permission and they won't turn it off and put it in my name. So I have no way of making long distance OR local toll calls. So even when he's gone...he's still in control. That part sucks. I am however asking my mother tonight for some sort of pre-paid cell. As far as the utilities, I'm just gonna let them run out. They're not in my name anyway. Once they go off, I'll call and have them connected in mine. The house, I have know idea whether my name is on it or not. I know I've had to sign papers husband brought home before. Once when he took out a loan. So I think I might be on it. But I didn't read it, he just said 'sign here'. However, from what I've read, a judge rarely asks a mother and her kids to just get out. So we may be able to stay for a while. husband says everything is his, because he bought it, but I don't think that's true. We've been married 11 years, living together for 16. We bought the house and everything in it 8 years ago, so I think I might be entitled to something. But I have been at home most of the time. Does that even count as a job? I don't know. I guess I have a lot of questions for a lawyer and I don't even know how to get one? No savings, that's all husband's. What a mess! I just don't know how I got here?!?!?!
