Husbands make lousy patients

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by KTMom91, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hubby had surgery yesterday morning, on his nose. This is supposed to help him breathe better, and not snore as loud. He's been parked on the couch, with his nose packed full of cotton, watching the most awful sci-fi movies, since then.

    Now...after my surgeries, I tried to sleep as much as possible. Sleeping is healing, right? I went out this morning to pay some bills and pick up some stuff at Target, and this is what I heard before I left. "Where are you going? When will you be back? Get a squeeze water bottle for me. I can't drink out of a glass. It hurts my head. Do the Vicodin and the antibiotics look alike? I think I took the wrong one in the middle of the night. Write on the top of the bottle so I know. I don't think I can take Xanax and Vicodin together, can I? What about the stuff for my acid reflux? Remember to bring the water bottle."

    Target only had metal bottles. After I unpacked the Target stuff, I heard..."Why didn't you get a bottle? They have them at Big 5. I got one last month. They're only $2.99. I'm really hungry. Did you get the Vienna sausages? I thought you were getting groceries. I really feel like having some Vienna sausages." With the audio backdrop of bad sci-fi music, and like a big dummy, I ask, "Would you like me to go back out?" "I really need that bottle from Big 5. Oh, and when you get the Vienna sausages, can you get some juice, too? Maybe something with strawberry, or mango, or something like that. And cough drops. My throat feels scratchy."

    Got the bottle, got the Vienna sausages, got the strawberry mango juice. Got home and juggled a torn grocery bag, tripped over the dog, and on the way back out to the car to bring in the other bags, I hear, "Did you get my Vienna sausages?" Yeah, buddy, I got your sausages. Right here. "I need a fork. Can you wash the bottle out? I'd like some juice. Why did you fill the bottle only half full? Can I have another can of Vienna sausages? What else did you get? Could I have some more juice? Is it time for Vicodin yet? My head's really hurting." head's really hurting, too. And it's not even 2 in the afternoon. What's up with this Vienna sausage fixation? Oh, goody...the bad sci-fi marathon has switched to...Teen Titans. Whee yippee.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :rofl: Hope he's off the couch soon!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wow. You have a LOT more patience than I do. I hope he gets better soon. Maybe YOU need the xanax so you don't strangle him?

    The surgery can do amazing things. My mom broke her nose sometime in college. Her snores are legendary. One night my dad woke up to hear her snoring. We live in a quiet, safe part of town so he had the bedroom door open for the night air (they don't have windows - just the door). After a few minutes he realized that after every snore our dog would go "woof" very quietly.

    We have about 2 hours of that on tape, LOL!!!

    I hope you get some snore free nights soon!
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    husband had nasal surgery when he was in the service. Not to deal with any service-related injuries, but rather to deal the after effects of a rather difficult child-ish youth where he got his nose broken 3 times. Once by a Milwaukee cop and I can assure you he had it coming!)

    The surgery hurt a lot worse than the original injuries did, BUT it did help with the snoring and he was again able to breathe through his nose comfortably.

    The difference was that husband tended to be like a sick cat: he curled up and hid when he wasn't feeling well.

    Once he became ill I had to watch him like a hawk for changes as he wouldn't tell me honestly how he was feeling.

    When I was sick he coddled me so badly that he drove me bonkers. He couldn't walk into the room where I was without peppering me with questions--how I was feeling, did I need anything?j Ad nauseum, LoL

    It wasn't until I did a lot of reading and heard about other peoples' SOs that I found out he was really unusual.
  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Sorry, KT...but that gave a good chuckle at your expense.:tongue:

  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Two words: Duct tape.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl: :rofl:

    My husband had that surgery. He got no nursing care whatsoever. None. Nada. No empathy, no sympathy, no cuddling, no coddling, no spoiling. Nuthin. He scrounged his own food or ate what I fixed, he did his own medications.....I ignored him completely.

    Did I shock you?? lol


    Cuz with 2 broken shoulders and a fractured skull with a brain injury, husband expected me to clean the house, cook, do laundry, attend the animals, referree the kids, do my own medications, feed myself................

    Now I know you was thinking me mighty cold hearted before weren't ya? lol

    Men make horrid patients in general. Either they're the tough mocho guy who end up with complications cuz they won't follow what they're supposed to do or they're the one who want spoiled and pampered until you want to strangle them.

    Hope he makes a speedy recovery.

  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oooh.. I LIKE that!
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Saturday morning...Hubby realizes that we are NOT going to the kids' housewarming bbq today, because he feels really bad. I fixed breakfast, handed him his medications, and he turns on the TV. Please, no more sci-fi. I can't stand another alien attack. No more plasma blasts on an unsuspecting civilization.

    He is watching DISH Earth. Have you ever seen that channel? It's the view of our planet from whatever satellite DISH broadcasts from. How exciting is that?
  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh, you are scaring me. My husband is having umbilical hernia surgery on the 14th of October. I can barely handle him now (he is very unstable) and then to add surgery to that combo? Oh, maybe the kids and I will leave for a week or so.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmmmm. I'd say he's pretty stoned on the pain medications.

    husband's fav channel..........was the History Channel. ugh