So...I'm typing this not at all sure if I'll hit "create thread" or "delete" when I'm done. A big part of me really doesn't want to hear what I expect to hear. I had a feeling...just a feeling...that he'd quit his job. I didn't sleep last night and I'm pretty sure it had something to do with this feeling of impending doom. So, today I drove by. He wasn't there. So I went home on the pretext of taking my medications (yes I lied) and he was asleep. He's so volatile. He went kind of nuts for a bit, I had to threaten to leave before he calmed. I told him I was going back to work and he started the, "No you're not! You're going to talk to me!" I responded that I was not like his father...I wasn't going to stay until I had to call the police. But I also wasn't going to be screamed at. I was just going to walk away and leave him there. He calmed down enough to listen to. He slept thru his alarm. It took some doing before he called to see if he still had a job. He lied - said he'd been sick in the night and overslept. While I'm sure no one believed that, he still has the job. He hasn't gotten fired and hasn't quit. His phone was up so loud I could hear the manager, so I know that's true. He doesn't want that job mind you...but he has it. I think because I mentioned that I did not want to walk into court next Wednesday and tell the judge he's unemployed. That's not what I want to reflect on...it's just context. He's just so ... messed up. I don't know what, exactly, to do or say or not say or do. He doesn't think he'll be able to get the apartment. He thinks J is going to run off back to Texas and leave him high and dry. Not a surprise...and all the more reason why he needs a full-time job so he can pay for stuff himself. He accused me of thinking he was slacking off and not looking for work. I told him I did not think that he was looking as hard as I think is appropriate. I pointed out that he still hasn't tried temp agencies. He finally admitted that's because he wouldn't pass a drug test. I asked him how stupid did he really think we were? We knew he was still smoking pot. But if that's what keeps him from getting a job - quit! The response was basically, "Why bother?" If a stupid fast food place won't hire him, why would anyone else? He made remarks about not wanting to rent the ghetto apartment. I told him then he needs a full time job and 6 months of work history. He said something about how many jobs he's held in 6 months and I reminded him he'd quit them all. That was his doing. He said something about being no different than any other high school kid. I reminded him he's not a high school kid anymore. He says he thinks we're going to throw him out and that's why he never tells us anything. I reminded him we only threw him out because we had good cause, but that being said, he can't stay with us forever. Yeah...he liked that remark about as much as you think. I asked him what he wanted out of life. He wants to move to another state and grow weed, and he could do it - it wouldn't be very expensive - but he can't even manage to get enough money for rent... . I could have smacked him. But instead I pointed out that if that's what he wants out of life, he still needs to get a job and save money so he can move. I should be angry. I should be upset. I should be...something. But I just feel kind of empty. And I know, I KNOW, that when the apartment is open, we have to throw him out on the streets...because he won't be ready. He won't have work. He won't have money. But the thought kills me because ... he's so lost. A smattering of the things he said: Why does everyone find a good job but me? Why does everyone have more money than me? Why is everyone happier than me? I try. I call every place that has a help wanted sign and I put in applications and they don't hire me. Of course there was the usual, "Everyone is treated better than me." He was very angry that Boost called him at 11:40 when he hadn't shown up. "They never call J. He takes 2 smoke breaks and hour and they never do anything to him. They won't let me get out of the sun even one time an hour. J does whatever he wants." and on and on and on. I said, "Why do you believe everything that man says? Does it ever occur to you he's lying?" He said, "Do you really think he'd lie about something like that?" I said, "To make it look like he's someone special and gets special treatment you don't get? You're dam right I think he'd lie!" by the way, manager told him on the phone that J is being replaced, so they need to get it straight what hours he's working so they can schedule the new person. So yeah, J is fired. I couldn't help but say, "Well, I guess he took too many of those smoke breaks after all." He's weirdly obsessed with the apartment fire. He practically said, "Why move into another apartment, they'll just burn it down too." The one that he will be moving into has been rehabbed after an arson fire. But...that doesn't mean someone will burn it down again! He mentioned it a number of times...that it'll just get burned down. I finally told him that he was not the only person who was displaced by that fire, that they weren't sitting around waiting for another fire, they moved on with their lives. In the end, I went back to work. I told him to call his counselor. I don't know what else to say.