I am a hypocrite!

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
I spent years deriding my son's use of marijuana. I lambasted him from one end of the universe to the other. I threw away all of his paraphernalia to the extent that if I had kept it, I could have opened my own head shop.

I have been dealing with chronic pain for years. Due to a kidney condition I was not able to take any type of medication. Things got worse in part due to my mothers health declining and all the ugliness that has come out family wise.

Things came to a head when I woke up one morning and was not able to move. I spent sometime having every test in the book. Stress had taken it's ugly toll. My R. A. had become worse with an increase in joint damage. I also now have ulcers.

I still can't take any medication. My Dr. Suggested taking cbd oil and not the one that comes from hemp. He suggested one that contains at least 10 percent of setiva cannabis.

This is where I become a hypocrite. Cannabis in any form is illegal in the state of Texas for the general public. Persons with severe cerebal palsey can access it with a perscription from a place in Austin.

I found a source. The relief is immense and almost immediate. I can do things now that I have not been able to do in years. I won't stop taking it, because I like being pain free. I sound like my son.

I can't believe it has come to this.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I dont see a thing wrong with taking cbd for pain. That isnt the same as getting sky high to run away from life. And its not addictive. I am thinking of trying cbd for anxiety to see if it works. And I hate the "high" feeling. But I hear you dont get high.
 

Elsi

Well-Known Member
Woah - wait a minute. Does this really make you a hypocrite? There is a big difference between recreational drug use that impacts someone's ability to succeed in school/work/life and legitimate therapeutic use of the same drug. If you were prescribed opioids to control pain after a surgery, would you be a hypocrite for not letting your kids borrow them for recreational use?

I realize that the legal issues around marijuana make this feel more complicated. But to me, it really isn't. There is a difference between using something therapeutically to be able to manage a condition and using it recreationally in a way that interferes with life.

I'm also in a state where it is illegal. My sister has MS and was having hundreds of mini seizures daily in addition to chronic pain. She is using cannabis to control the pain and seizures. I do not begrudge her this. I wish it was legal here for her sake. Nothing else worked for her.

That doesn't stop me from wanting my son to NOT use it, because his use is irresponsible and is making his life worse, not better. He will CLAIM it is medicinal - for anxiety - but the truth is he just likes being high. I truly believe it has increased his anxiety and paranoia long-term. He is not working with a doctor or taking measured doses on a schedule to control a set of symptoms. He is getting high recreationally, with friends and acquaintances, and prioritizing getting weed (and other drugs) over keeping a job, paying for safe housing, going to school or doing anything else to be a productive and self-supporting member of society. BIG DIFFERENCE!

So no, I don't actually feel any cognitive dissonance in saying I think my sister should have it and my son should not.

I'm glad you're finding relief. I also live with chronic pain. I know how hard it can make it to get through the day. I'm mostly controlling things through lifestyle changes (anti-inflammatory diet and yoga) but if it gets really bad again I wouldn't rule out your approach.
 

Smithmom

Well-Known Member
I guess I understand the feeling of hypocrisy.not because I think either of your positions is wrong. We all agree on that. Not that I think you are a hypocrite, again, we all agree.

My understanding comes from the innate knowledge that my sons use illegal drugs to self-medicate. On some level they know that's why they're using. Whatever they are escaping from, mental illness , etc. Bottom line is they are escaping what I describe as psychological pain. So if I were escaping physical pain using an illegal drug I would feel a hypocrite.

So i do understand what you feel and why you are doing it. No judgements. If I were desperate I might do the same.
 

Elsi

Well-Known Member
My understanding comes from the innate knowledge that my sons use illegal drugs to self-medicate. On some level they know that's why they're using. Whatever they are escaping from, mental illness , etc. Bottom line is they are escaping what I describe as psychological pain. So if I were escaping physical pain using an illegal drug I would feel a hypocrite.

I might have felt this way before watching my sister endure 200-300 seizures on a daily basis. If there was anything else that worked and she was choosing cannabis just because she liked the high, I would feel differently. But we have found NOTHING else that worked. I believe it should be legal for legitimate medicinal purposes. I also believe it should be used in a prescribed and measured way, under a doctor's care, just like opioids. I don't think it's fair to people like pasajes and my sister to keep it from them just because other people abuse it.

My son, like your son, abuses it. Yes, he is self-medicating. But he is not seeing a doctor or therapist, exploring other treatment options, or using it in a measured and responsible way. If he was using it that way, and otherwise functioned well in society (held a job, paid his own way, maintained relationships, etc.) I would probably back off. I know a couple casual users who are still decent and productive members of society and I figure it's none of my business. But C uses it irresponsibly, escalates his use whenever he can get his hands on it, prioritizes acquiring it over food and shelter, and has basically let it take over his life. He's used other drugs too, but I think even if he didn't marijuana by itself would still be a real problem for him.

Self-medication is always going to be a problem, whether the drugs are legal or illegal. Working with a doctor to manage a chronic condition is entirely different to me. There is also a big difference between using a drug to get back into life and using one to escape it.
 

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I think intention is the vast difference between a choice to be out of pain and able to live a healthier life versus abusing drugs.

I live in CA. and it's legal here, I'm a senior and I live in an HOA for over 55 folks, I'd venture to guess that 3/4 of my neighbors are using some form of medical marijuana for things like depression, anxiety, pain, insomnia, wasting, cancer, epilepsy, ......it's a miracle to these people.

Why beat yourself up for finding something that works for you? You & your son are in different universes where healthy, adult choices are concerned, there is no reason I can think of to compare your choice to his. You found a solution, celebrate the fact that you found a solution and that solution is offering you a life without pain. That's wonderful. You have a new opportunity, go enjoy it and let the rest go. Don't allow your judgements of yourself rob you of what must be an incredible liberation AND opportunity. I'm glad you found such relief.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
CBD oil doesn't contain THC. I tried it for sciatica. It didn't help the pain. I didn't feel high or even relaxed. In fact, it made me dizzy.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
The cbd oil that I use does contain THC. It is derived from the cannabis strain setiva or a hybrid of both setiva and indica. A full dropper contains 10% thc. I use a half dropper every 4 to 6 hours. The relief is amazing. I am able to be physically productive in ways that were not possible a few months ago. My friends have noticed, but I have not told them what I am using. Many of them would benefit, but would not risk it. Most of them are or have relied on opioids for pain management. It has taken a toll on their overall health.
 

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
You are most certainly NOT a hypocrite. A doctor suggested you try cbd oil. I'm fair certain that no doctor ever recommended to ANY of our children to smoke marijuana. I agree with and will restate the opioid comments. Opioids are legal WHEN PRESCRIBED BY A DOCTOR. They are not legal when used without prescription or are abused with prescription. You're trying to compare apples and oranges. Quit beating yourself up over this, there's no need.
 

Triedntrue

Well-Known Member
I agree my ex daughter in law used prescription drugs to the point that she created a deviated septum. None was prescribed and she was arrested for selling it. This is not the same!!!! If i had to take what you are taking i would. My middle son had surgery and the botched the nerve block. He was given synthetic heroin it did not make him an addict. He used it only that day. It was the only thing that made the pain bearable.
 

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
Look at it this way, alcohol is legal. Would you berate your child for having the occasional legal beer? How about if he were drinking a case every day or two and kept losing jobs because if it? See the difference?
 
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