Just keep swimming
New Member
<span style="color: #663366">Hi family,
First off, warning, this will be long!
The last 2 days feel like a nightmare, and I can't wake up from it! I have run away to a hotel and my "sister" (Jayme's sibs adoptive mom) is meeting me here soon. I have to decide if I am going to go home or not tomorrow. :sad:
It started on Thursday evening, I got a call from my bio sister saying that my other sister was losing her fost/adopt daughter (10 yo angel from above!) to be moved closer to her IN PRISON dad 2 hours from them so that she could bond with him and he can have the chance to get her back when he gets out in 9 months! Tell me the sense in this?!? He is in prison for domestic violence, drugs and who knows what else. My "neice" has been, first in the system and then with my sister for 3 years! And NOW CPS feels she needs to bond with this guy??!!?? J left yesterday morning. SW picked her up and she had to be physically removed from my sister's arms, J was hysterical. She WANTS to be adopted by my sister and her husband. She does NOT want anything to do with a dead beat dad she hasn't seen in over 5 years!!! I am so heart broken. J loved us all and we her, so very much. I am so afraid of what all this is going to do to her and to my sisters family. Prayers please.
Yesterday, my back was NOT good. husband came home early from work to "help" me. All he did was go into his shop and clean it up in there. I am lying there on the couch, Aly is having a meltdown (3rd of the afternoon) about getting some stupid baby doll from Wally World. Jayme is not feeling up to par and was super whiny. I was trying to get her to lie down for a rest but Aly was throwing such a fit Jayme couldn't settle. Crisis team called (2nd time in 2 days) and again they were able to talk her down on the phone, thank God!
I was so angry with husband for disappearing into his world (shop)!! I called him on his cell and told his to get his hiney in the house and get these kids out of the house for a while. What does he do? Has to run an errand (shop related, NOT work!) and swings in and gets Aly that danged doll she was flipping out about. I was livid! :grrr: She does NOT need another doll, has so many we have had to put some up in attic to make room! husband and I argued, it got ugly, I locked myself in my room and just screamed into a pillow! He invited easy child and his "family" for dinner without telling me, so I am walking around in my ugliest comfy clothes. Another argument that got ugly!
This morning Jayme was up super early. My back is hurting so bad I begged husband to get up with her. You would have thought I had asked him to go shovel the drive or something! She is HIS kid too!!! Grumling, he finally got up, but not before she had helped herself to breakfast and spilled half a gallon of milk! He was out there screaming at her, cats were running around, Aly got up and HAD to get involved with the whole situation. So by 6 am we already had 2 MAJOR fights and I again locked myself in my room, bawling my eyes out.
Jayme was still not feeling great, so I tried to lie down with her and watch some Nick Jr cartoons. Aly marches in and turns the channel. I flip out and scream at her, husband runs in the room to see what is up and tries to "make it all better" only to intensify the whole situation. He belittles me, says that the new neighbors will think I am an idiot mom and can only scream at the kids. He said this right in front of the kids!
Right then I got up, went in my room and took a hot bath, called my "sister" and we made plans! I need to think this through. He has been sweeping things under the rug for so many years and it is finally all coming out. I am sorry that he has been stressed with my back thing, but what the heck does he think is going on with me? I feel LESS than a person right now, cannot do any housework, laundry, etc. and am so frustrated! Then he says things like "well what did you do all day, lie around" Well yes, doctors orders and all...axxhole!!
This is the most seriously ridiculously handled situation. We have been married 25 years and I have never thought I would leave him. Right now, I am seriously thinking of doing just that. I cannot take the undercurrent of his hostility any longer. We have been through SO much together, I cannot believe we are drifting so far apart right now.
I suggested marriage counseling, to that I got a resounding NOOOO! "We have had so much therapy through all of Aly's stuff, how the hell do you think that would help" HELLO! Exactly, we were dealing with Aly's stuff NOT ours! One way or the other, I will be starting therapy for myself. I can't live in this ugly place for very long.
But for tonight, I will be calling in room service, drinking a whole lotta liquor and hopefully finding my sense of humor again. Strange this is, I am not sad. And how sad is that??!!?? I am more frustrated with the whole thing and tired of it and actually quite done!
For those who actually made it through this whole thing, thank you very much! Prayers please that we make the right decision for us and the kids sake.
Vickie </span>
First off, warning, this will be long!
The last 2 days feel like a nightmare, and I can't wake up from it! I have run away to a hotel and my "sister" (Jayme's sibs adoptive mom) is meeting me here soon. I have to decide if I am going to go home or not tomorrow. :sad:
It started on Thursday evening, I got a call from my bio sister saying that my other sister was losing her fost/adopt daughter (10 yo angel from above!) to be moved closer to her IN PRISON dad 2 hours from them so that she could bond with him and he can have the chance to get her back when he gets out in 9 months! Tell me the sense in this?!? He is in prison for domestic violence, drugs and who knows what else. My "neice" has been, first in the system and then with my sister for 3 years! And NOW CPS feels she needs to bond with this guy??!!?? J left yesterday morning. SW picked her up and she had to be physically removed from my sister's arms, J was hysterical. She WANTS to be adopted by my sister and her husband. She does NOT want anything to do with a dead beat dad she hasn't seen in over 5 years!!! I am so heart broken. J loved us all and we her, so very much. I am so afraid of what all this is going to do to her and to my sisters family. Prayers please.
Yesterday, my back was NOT good. husband came home early from work to "help" me. All he did was go into his shop and clean it up in there. I am lying there on the couch, Aly is having a meltdown (3rd of the afternoon) about getting some stupid baby doll from Wally World. Jayme is not feeling up to par and was super whiny. I was trying to get her to lie down for a rest but Aly was throwing such a fit Jayme couldn't settle. Crisis team called (2nd time in 2 days) and again they were able to talk her down on the phone, thank God!
I was so angry with husband for disappearing into his world (shop)!! I called him on his cell and told his to get his hiney in the house and get these kids out of the house for a while. What does he do? Has to run an errand (shop related, NOT work!) and swings in and gets Aly that danged doll she was flipping out about. I was livid! :grrr: She does NOT need another doll, has so many we have had to put some up in attic to make room! husband and I argued, it got ugly, I locked myself in my room and just screamed into a pillow! He invited easy child and his "family" for dinner without telling me, so I am walking around in my ugliest comfy clothes. Another argument that got ugly!
This morning Jayme was up super early. My back is hurting so bad I begged husband to get up with her. You would have thought I had asked him to go shovel the drive or something! She is HIS kid too!!! Grumling, he finally got up, but not before she had helped herself to breakfast and spilled half a gallon of milk! He was out there screaming at her, cats were running around, Aly got up and HAD to get involved with the whole situation. So by 6 am we already had 2 MAJOR fights and I again locked myself in my room, bawling my eyes out.
Jayme was still not feeling great, so I tried to lie down with her and watch some Nick Jr cartoons. Aly marches in and turns the channel. I flip out and scream at her, husband runs in the room to see what is up and tries to "make it all better" only to intensify the whole situation. He belittles me, says that the new neighbors will think I am an idiot mom and can only scream at the kids. He said this right in front of the kids!
Right then I got up, went in my room and took a hot bath, called my "sister" and we made plans! I need to think this through. He has been sweeping things under the rug for so many years and it is finally all coming out. I am sorry that he has been stressed with my back thing, but what the heck does he think is going on with me? I feel LESS than a person right now, cannot do any housework, laundry, etc. and am so frustrated! Then he says things like "well what did you do all day, lie around" Well yes, doctors orders and all...axxhole!!
This is the most seriously ridiculously handled situation. We have been married 25 years and I have never thought I would leave him. Right now, I am seriously thinking of doing just that. I cannot take the undercurrent of his hostility any longer. We have been through SO much together, I cannot believe we are drifting so far apart right now.
I suggested marriage counseling, to that I got a resounding NOOOO! "We have had so much therapy through all of Aly's stuff, how the hell do you think that would help" HELLO! Exactly, we were dealing with Aly's stuff NOT ours! One way or the other, I will be starting therapy for myself. I can't live in this ugly place for very long.
But for tonight, I will be calling in room service, drinking a whole lotta liquor and hopefully finding my sense of humor again. Strange this is, I am not sad. And how sad is that??!!?? I am more frustrated with the whole thing and tired of it and actually quite done!
For those who actually made it through this whole thing, thank you very much! Prayers please that we make the right decision for us and the kids sake.
Vickie </span>