I can't imagine hospitalizing him but something has to change...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by judytor, Dec 29, 2008.

  1. judytor

    judytor New Member

    We are going through a rough time with Boo right now. I posted about his biting me last week (I think..) and I know the holidays and extra visitors, and the increase in his medications have added to his stress but he's also just getting so aggressive. His anxiety is out of control. He's starting to accuse us of things that aren't true. For example: the other night he was raging about wanting something of his sister's (don't even remember what it was). He kept body slamming husband. husband was trying to protect himself and also protect Boo from hurting himself. Boo came running to me telling me "papa is beating me up".....
    He did the same thing to me tonight. I was holding him because he was trying to bite me and throw things at me. I sat in front of our bedroom door to keep him from running out (we were both on the inside). He kept body slamming me so I told him I would hold him so he wouldnt' hurt me or him. When I held him, he told me I was trying to "squish him like a little grape". He told me he couldn't breathe, etc.....I was not holding him hard. I'm always afraid to hold him because I know it FREAKS him out but I also don't want him to hurt me or himself. Today he was throwing things at me....I told him to stop and he threw another toy at me and then ran ......I followed him outside because I wasn't sure what he was going to do and he freaked and tripped on the cement outside and fell He then blames me and thinks "I made him fall".
    He blames me for everything and I just don't know what to do.
    I literally start to cry just THINKING about how he'd feel if we had to put him in a hospital for treatment. He would feel abandoned. It would cement his insecurities and his anxiety I am constantly loving on him. I tell him several times a day how special he is and how much I love him and no matter what he does, I will always love him.
    He still doesn't "get it". He still thinks everyone is out to get him
    I'm calling his psychiatrist in the morning because I think the increase in Lexapro in the last few weeks has added to his aggression. I also just don't know what to do. I've been trying to follow the Explosive Child but his ability to think clearly really prevents us from being very successful. I try to be proactive but no matter what happens, he is upset. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants when he wants it, he is in full rage within a few seconds.
    We took him out of preschool because his anxiety was just through the roof. I feel like NO ONE GETS HIM. The psychiatrist understands more than anyone but he isn't part of his every day treatment, yk?
    I feel like he needs some intensive services. But I also feel he needs services tailored to HIS NEEDS. The school's programs just didn't "fit" his level of anxiety.
    I'm getting to the point where I wonder if we're dealing with schizophrenic behaviors? He is so paranoid all. the. time.
    I don't even know what else to say.....I'm so sad for my Boo. I can't make him better. I don't know how and he won't let me
    (Boo is 4 (almost 5) diagnosis'd so far with Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder (SPD), possibly bipolar )
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    You need to call to the psychiatrist about the Lexapro. One thing you need to know about medications: sometimes the side effects can be immediate while in other kids they can build up over months. I've known a number of kids whose anger and other side effects continued to build up when on an SSRI that wasn't right for them.

    If I were in your shoes I'd go for a medication change first, especially if this is the first medication he's been on. And if you are seriously considering BiPolar (BP) as a diagnosis, there's NO WAY he should be on an SSRI in the first place.

    As for hospitalization, truthfully what parents generally report here is that it's usually much, much harder on mom than on the child. Young children often do very well as they are in a safe, secure, environment with someone to watch over them 24/7. And they're getting a vacation from the object of their authority battles.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} You sound really beat up. I'm with SRL on this, call about the medications first. What other types of therapies is Boo receiving? Does he have sensory problems too? That can cause a child's perceptions to be way off.
  4. maril

    maril New Member

    The above posters have very good advice.

    I am sending you hugs and reassurance that you are doing the best you can for your child, including if it would come down to needing to be hospitalized.

    in my opinion, medications are a "tricky" thing. I have always carefully monitored my son when on medications (bearing in mind that psychiatrists do know their business but that I live with and observe my son every single day and "know him well") ever since he had a psychotic reaction to his first stimulant all the way up to his most recent medications (which were stopped and were possibly exacerbating his condition).

    Hang in there. Hopefully, future interventions will provide some help and soon. :goodluck:
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Marilynne brings up an excellent point... you will want to start a behavior journal to note anything changing or unusual. It can really help you pinpoint medication reactions or emerging behaviors.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Maybe you could try PHP (partial hospitalization program) first. He would go to the hospital 6-8 hours a day but would be home at night. It allows them to do some intensive therapy, see the psychiatrist daily and have professional staff test him and document his behaviors.

    Is he just on the Lexapro? If he is bipolar, that could be making things worse.

    So sorry you are going through this.
  7. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    I just wanted to send you BIG HUGS! My difficult child doesnt have quite the anxiety issues but we have the violent behaviors just like that. I have also thought of doing a hospitilization for my difficult child to get him stabalized but the thought does break my heart because he is so young. I really don't have any great advice because I am in the beginning stages too.