I have an Idea re: buck

[DammitJanet]

I know Lisa, exactly. One other thing is I know he is going to go out to his car and call Tony after he does this work and complain. I saw him yesterday because he made the mistake of coming in and telling me that that we were out of dish soap and that Tony would call me when he got to the grocery store to make sure what we needed. He stayed in his car for about 45 minutes. I asked Tony if he was talking to him that long. Tony said he didnt think he talked to him that long but he did talk to him for about 20 minutes or so complaining about cleaning and then having to do his regular chores in the kitchen...lol. So when Buck came in and told me about needing the dish soap, I told him he didnt need to call Tony at work. Tony could only get one call a day at work at that would be from me! If he needed anything from the store, make sure he tells us the day before and I will let Tony know the morning before he goes to work or I will let him known on my call to him but he cant call Tony at work during the day. If he continues that, he will be doing that from his car on the way out the door.


I think it is really odd now that he is getting up when Tony is getting ready to go to work. Tony gets up at 4 am and leaves by 5. Buck complains about not being able to sleep and really makes a big deal about how he can barely get out of bed without it taking him an hour because it hurts so bad its like taking a sledge hammer to both legs. If I go to attempt to get him up it will take him at least an hour to come out of his room but Tony is home, he pops out of that room like a spring is attached to his rump. Same with Keyana. Amazing!

 

[Tiapet]

Janet, I have another idea to add into this cleaning one as you go along. If he has the true difficult child tendencies I wonder if adding in an immediate "reward" of some kind as you are cleaning at some pre determined interval that YOU decide will encourage him to keep going? You know how difficult children get tired of doing something prolonged and then they just quit? What if, say after 2 hours, you offer him something. I'm not sure what to say as you know him the best. If I said a tv break he'd likely just keep on watching it. You probably already have smoke breaks, a candy bar break? I don't know, some sort of "instant gratification" thing that is tiny enough to break it up but yet keep him going and won't "break" you in anyway shape or form. The goal is to KEEP him going.

I think this is an excellent idea and on some level it's what I am doing with difficult child here for her to earn "extra" money beyond what she pays in room & board (she actually pays unlike buck). She just needs extra money for things she wants to go, get, have, etc. Right now she has a dire need for even more "extra" money has her furkid has an early case of heart worms and that treatment can be expensive, especially if it had been a later case. But since it's early that's bad enough. It's going to run her upwards of $500+ to begin and "if" the case isn't early like they suspected well then......Her opportunities only gain her $100 extra a month so you can imagine the amount of extra work she's having to do right now!

Of course I would never let the furkid do with out treatment (she doesn't know that) but it forces her to have to do work.

 

[DammitJanet]

Tia I am much nicer than you must think I am...lol. Im no slave driver.

When I got him in my bedroom yesterday I almost insisted that he sit in my wheelchair and we would S L O W L Y go through everything together. I told him I wanted to go through all the clothes together so I could decide what was good and what was not and then we could make piles. I wanted to then bring in the big trash can and we could slowly go through the trash and toss out the regular trash, put stuff in a pile that I might want to put on freecycle and make sure we didnt throw away anything that was something I might need...like computer cords, tubes of medicine, important papers that may have fallen down, DVD's etc. Oh hell no. He came in like a bat out of hell. He was not going to sit down. He was going go like gangbusters. He picked up a bunch of papers off the top of my dresser and tossed them in the trash can before I could move. He tossed all the clothes into a corner. He just grabbed handfuls of trash and stuffed it in trash bags and took them out and put them in the back of Tony's truck.

I finally went through all the clothes and separated them into Tony's and Mine...then good and not good. I decided last night with Tony that I was going to wash them from our room and bring them back into our room once they were dry and figure out what to do with them. This morning, Buck comes into my room and looks at the clothes and grabs them all up in his arms and storms out of my room with all of them and throws them all into the laundry room floor! Now you have to understand that our laundry room floor has been knee deep in clothes for the past year or so that we have been trying to work on going through a bit at a time but every time we do, someone new comes along with more koi and throws it down on the floor! None of us has a decent dresser to put clothes in and I have been trying to get Tony to put shelves in our closet since we got this place and he hasnt done it. So clothes just pile up on the freezer across from the dryer in the laundry room.

So here I am in bed...telling Buck..NO, put the clothes down! He doesnt. So then I called Tony and told him what he did and Tony told me to go tell him that now the job for the day is to get all the junk out of the laundry room and go through it. Well I went out there to do that and he had already decided he was going to start sweeping my family room and he had pulled my couch out and was sweeping behind it because "it pure darn filthy in here". I told him to put the couch back because now we are going to bring everything out of the laundry room now and go through it all. He refused and said he just threw it all on the top and if I wanted my stuff back I could just grab it. No, he tossed it all and then shoved it. Its all mixed up. I cant just pick stuff out. No way. I told him if he wasnt going to listen to me, I would just wait until Tony got home tonight and we would deal with it then. Then he decides to go into my living room and clean. He was on a streak. He cleaned off the top of a table thing where everyone has been just placing stuff down when they walk in the door for years. I have no clue what was on there. One thing was a box of vitamins Billy brought home last night and Buck brought in one pack out of the box (you know, the GNC kind that have a bunch of pills in a daily packet) and he shoved it under my nose asking me what kind of drugs they were? LOL. I told him those were Billy's and to put them back. I honestly have no other clue what was on that table but Im sure some stuff was good and some was Tony's and if its missing he is gonna be ticked. Buck swore up and down he found a nest of black widow spiders. I have never seen a spider here. Well...I saw one tiny little house spider once. Definitely not a black widow. We dont have wood in the house. He couldnt even show me one! But for a disabled man who cant stand up or move...he sure moved a lot and fast today. But its not getting him out of what I have planned tomorrow. We have to go through an area in the family room because Keyana's Leapster GS is missing. I know he has been pawning/selling things. If her game isnt found in the house, I am going to be one hot grandma because I know she didnt take it anywhere. We always put it up in the cabinet after she played with it. Its not there.

 

[Hound dog]

Sounds like this is going to turn interesting fast. Buck is progressing rather quickly in the difficult child dept of behavior. lol

I hope he didn't do anything with Keyana's game.......those thing are expensive. omg

 

[DammitJanet]

We found it. Tony had hid it again. Turns out he was worried about it since he had suspicions of Buck.

Oh we almost had a blow out with Buck last night. When he cleaned off that desk thing next to the door yesterday there were some things on there that were pretty important that had been there for several years. One thing was a picture of my father on his ship from WWII that we had set there when we got it and had never put it up. Probably not the best place to put it but we knew where it was and we never moved it and we looked at it several times and had recently had shown it to someone so we knew it was still there.

Well for some reason tonight we were talking about it and Tony went to get it off that table to show it to Buck and IT WASNT ON THAT DESK!!!!! Tony blew a gasket. He started yelling at Buck about messing with that table without me being there to tell him what was good on that table and what trash and if he had tossed that picture out he was screwed because it was something that could never be replaced. Tony loved my dad. Buck was hunting all over the place saying he wouldnt have thrown any pictures away...blah blah blah. I finally found it across the room where he must have tossed it. Tony was ticked most of the night and told him from now on he had to listen to me about how things were to be done. LOL

 

[Tiapet]

No, I didn't think that about you at all. I was just reading through the thread and it didn't seem like you were able to keep him motivated to "keep" moving and doing things is all and the reason I made the suggestion. If anything I think you are "TOO" nice!

You said you've been after Tony to build you shelves. Is there a possibility you could get Buck to do that for you? That could be on your "honey to do list" for him. I mean maybe he can't do all the steps but some of them. Like if he can't properly size and cut the lumber down have Tony do that step but have Buck install/screw the shelving into the walls. You said you have floors that need to be fixed, have Buck do it. Have Tony get the materials and have Buck lay the floor out whether it's putting the plywood down first and then what ever covering (again if he can't properly size and cut have Tony do that step, have Buck Nail or screw it in).

How about posting a COMPLETE list of what you need done here or you can pm it too me if you like, and we can work on breaking it down into things Buck can do to get YOUR house (inside and OUT) in shape by summer at the very latest cuz I bet buck will still be there then.... This will work to your advantage....I know it will...there is a way around everything..buck or not....I know it...you've found your strength and how to stay on him....now will use it to "get er LOL