I just don't know what to do....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by stressedout, Apr 14, 2010.

  1. stressedout

    stressedout Guest

    I'm semi new here, I was a member about 10 years ago, and have been lurking for the last 2 or so and just don't remember my username, etc.

    My son is 19, orginally diagnosed with, adhd, bipolar with- psychotic features, odd, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ptsd. Within the last 2 years ago "they" decided that schizoaffective disorder was more accurate. Who know's.

    So, Z, has been going to a special school for the last 5 years, absolutely perfect for him. Year round, worked on academics (some), but more into getting him ready to be in the "real" world so to speak. Worked at different companies thru the school, made his own paycheck it's great for him, well, today he really blew it... He "forgot" that he had one of my husband's work knives in his pocket. So needless to say they suspended him. This happened at the end of the day, after he had gone home on the bus, the school decided he would be "suspended" indefinately, but they are NOT filing charges. He does well for awhile, but then sobotages (sp) himself. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if they will expell him, which in a "normal" school they would no questions asked. If they do, I don't know what to do with his time, when he has too much time on his hands he gets himself in even more trouble. If they don't I think they should take away the privedge of his working.

    I'm making him write a letter to the program director, he has DMH and TIP as far as other support services, they don't what to say over this. I am sooo lost. Any suggestions?

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi and welcome!! I am glad to meet you but sorry you need us, Know what I mean??

    First, I don't know what DMH and TIP are, so I cannot speak about them.

    Does your son have an IEP? Is this a public or private school? Your son has a right to an FAPE in the LRE (free and appropriate public education in least restrictive environment) and it sounds like this school does a great job of that. Has your son been suspended before? I think there is a limit of 10 days that he can be suspended for legally.

    I don't have specific advice, but wanted to welcome you.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How did they know he had the knife? How was it found?
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Why did you put forget in quotation marks? Do you think there was intent in his bringing the knife to school? Do you really think he sabotaged himself, or do you think his disability got in the way of his ability to behave appropriately? This is an important question in what should happen as a result.

    You may need to hire a Special Education attorney to help straighten out the situation with the school.
  5. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    Look up your school act for your state. That would be expulsion, suspension here are only allowed to be between 1 day and 22 days (ontario, canada) and is stated as such in the School Act. What really bothers me about the school and the actions they took was why did they wait until the end of the day? How did they know he had it? Why wait until he's at home and gone from school grounds? Did he tell someone in glancing convo that he forgot it was in his pocket and they told the school and the school took their word for it?

    I don't think it's fair if this is a one time mistake with a pocket work knife (I'm assuming you mean an exacto knife or box cutter style knife like a utility knife). Honestly, he's been there 5 yrs with a pretty (from what I've seen in your OP) great track record there. They have the ability to make judgment calls on how to handle it, to adjust the "punishment" according to the record of behavior and personality of the student. An honest mistake is just that, an honest mistake. I don't think they are being all that fair at all.

    I am of the mind set that knowledge is power, maybe make an appeal for it? Plead the case to a board of trustees or something? A Special Education lawyer might be a great idea like one poster suggested.
    Lasted edited by : Apr 16, 2010