I need to vent, health issues, I just dont know what to do anymore

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Today was my doctor's appointment at the pain clinic. I was supposed to get the results from the CT scan that I had done back on 9/26. The doctor ordered a lumber CT without contrast and on the report it read (DR INSIST) which I kinda think is their way of CYA because they may think it should have been done with contrast especially on someone as large as me. The radiologist mentioned several times in his report about the fact that "the patient" was morbidly obese. But other than that, he saw nothing else remarkable on the CT scan. Ugh.

Well, the doctor told me that they didnt expect for the CT scan to show anything anyway because CT's dont normally show problems with disc or nerve problems in the spine. Say what? They just sent me to do a test that not only cost a tremendous amount of money but also is one of the highest amount of radiation producing tests so that it could produce no results????? Why? Oh...because you dont like MRI's! Well wouldnt an Xray maybe have shown something different? Possibly. But you really need to get an MRI.

I said look, there has to be something wrong somewhere in my back. He says I have no doubt there is. The MRI will show it. Im in tears at this point. Crying. I tell him...I cant do the MRI unless you put me under with twilight sedation. He says we can give you ativan. I say...I cant.

Then...well I dont think you have adequate pain control at this time, you arent taking strong enough medicine to control your pain right now. OMG! I told him no, I cant take anything else. As it is, my psychiatrist is giving me ritalin to attempt to keep me awake during the day. I simply cannot drug myself into oblivion. If I wanted to be a junkie I could go out into the streets and find some crack and probably have a much better time!

Im just broken. Im ready to quit. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like laying down and just never moving again. I give up.
 

klmno

Active Member
Spoil yourself tonight- no matter what it takes to make you feel a little better and a little comfort- take a mental break. I get that someone dropped the ball and now you probably had medication techs acting like "it's not their fault- the dr didn't order the right thing and you don't want to take the medications it would take for you to be able to do it". They don't get it, that's the bottom line. So remove yourself from it, at least for tonight, and try hard to get some rest and take a breather. It very well might be that you can use this experience to open up some lines of communication between the dr who ordered the test and your psychiatrist and just maybe (optimistically hoping for you), this will result in something more effective. I know it seems like an endless battle right now, so just spoil yourself tonight- or get one of those boys/men to spoil you tonight. :)

((HUGS))
 

buddy

New Member
Oh Janet, chronic pain is so hard to deal with. I have a back issue, but pain is pretty well controlled with medications (when I am not on the computer too much, lol). I wish I could take it away for you. Any way they can do an open MRI? And I am sure you have done everything, but what about pain control or cortisone shots? TENS unit? I dont know, I am grasping at straws. Pain is just so hard to live with, if you could at least get a break. I really started swimming this year and now am walking (pool is closed) and riding bikes. It has helped me lose weight without trying and once I got going, the pain went down so much. Everyone is different though and of course it depends on the cause.

You can rant and vent as much as you want and please dont despair. You have so much going on that it will sort itself out. Keep pushing and dont look too far in the future, just do what you can do today. Any chance of water therapy in a heated pool? I have done that thru a pain clinic and it was so helpful. Even if only a break for that time...
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I thought about that Buddy. doctor just never came back into the room after he talked to me, he just sent the CNA or whatever she was, back into the room to give me my prescriptions and have me sign my sheet and let me go sit in the waiting room to get my next appointment. Its like a cattle call. I thought the doctor was going out the check on something and then coming back in to talk to me more but nope. I guess its too much to hope for that when a doctor sees a patient in obvious distress that they might actually do something. They are so hell bent there on pushing pills and doing these weird things where they insert needles and stuff into your back that they dont want to hear anything else. I actually asked if they did the cortisone injections for my knees and they dont do them, nor do they do the simple lidocaine/cortisone injections into the lower back that my ortho gave me. That was a little simple needle. Not something that you had to be on an operating table.

Im calling my gp to get an appointment with them so they can get me a referral back to my ortho. I hate how I have to go around my elbow to get to my...you know. Why my gp cant just call in the referral is beyond me.
 

buddy

New Member
Ok, so you have a next step. So dumb he didn't talk to you more. Makes me crazy. I do think people with extra weight are not cared for as well at times. Losing weight helps, I get that but it is not the cause of all of the pain and you have to be pain free enough to do activities. I am overweight and losing and one sister is in the "morbidly obese" category. She did the whole surgery thing and lost tons of weight but has put most of it back on and wishes she had never done it due to the vitamin and nutrient poblems. Didn't fix her core issue because she didn't HAVE to go thru therapy. It is a challenging road but pain disorders feed into increasing weight and then increase weight feeds into more pain and so on and so on and so on. I just am really hoping for a little relief for you. You are worth it and deserve it and dont let them forget it.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Janet would you be able to do an open MRI? I have not had one, so I really have no clue. Just was thinking that it would null the claustrophobia issue. Hmm, take that back, I might have had one with the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), not sure.

CT scan was a bogus milk your insurance test. Peeves me when they do test they know won't give them what they want / need. It was meant to make you feel better because doctor was "doing something".

I'm horribly claustrophobic, which is why I loath airplanes. But I can do the normal MRI, I just close my eyes going in and refuse to open them until I'm out again. If I opened them it would not be a pretty scene. I had Travis do it the same way.

You know that walk in tub deal? I'd call the company and see if there is a way to get Disability aka medicaid to pay for the installation. That would help you tons! Not only would bathing be safer, but you'd have your own whirlpool bath too to use as needed. If they cover the mobility chairs I don't see why they wouldn't cover that if it's medically needed. Know what I mean?? Worth a shot.

It stinks to be in that high a level of pain with little relief. mother in law was like that the last several years. She had the patches, pills, and shots. It didn't take her long to get used to the extremely high doses......so she wasn't quite as knocked out as I expected her to be.

Hugs
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Awww, I'm so sorry for your pain, I wish I had a magic wand and could wave it away. Hugs. I agree with everyone, spoil yourself a little, find out about the open MRI, and I love the idea of the walk in tub. That would be such a help for you. I'll keep you in my prayers tonight, Janet.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Lisa, I have tried the open MRI and I was on ativan that I normally took, klonopin that I normally took but I doubled both of those for that day...then the doctor ordered me 20 mgs of valium...then just to make sure I would be sedated I took 2 of my vicodin about an hour before my appointment. Now according to most folks, I should have been in la la land. Not me. The second I laid down on the table and the machine started to lower down over me I screamed at the tech that I had to pee and they let me up and I ran out of the building so fast that Tony thought I had seen a snake. He caught up with me sitting in the car begging him to drive...just drive...or I would.
 

slsh

member since 1999
Janet - see if any facilities have an upright MRI. You just sit in front of the machine. I was in a lot of pain so don't remember all the details, but I'm pretty sure there was nothing in front of me or to the side. Actually, I'm positive there was nothing in front of me because I passed out at the end and there was nothing to catch me, LOL.

I'm really sorry you're in so much pain. There's nothing worse than a bad back in my book. The pain just doesn't end.

Gentle hugs to you.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
OMG>>>I think I could do that!!!!!!! Now there doesnt appear to be one within a few hours from me but I will get tony to drive me. It even says that standing up shows the back issues better because thats when the spine would be worse! And you can watch TV while the machine is running.
 

slsh

member since 1999
LOL - yes, hon, they have TVs in there for you. :rofl: Actually - if they think they can get good pics with- you sitting, I'm not sure I'd volunteer to stand... but then, I'm a wimp. ;)
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
It actually looks a whole lot like what they did my swallow test with. Now watch and let me find out thats what I was in...lol. I was between two things but seated because I darned sure couldnt stand up back then. I didnt have use of my legs. Or arms. I was just put between two things that were going to take pics and they fed me little bits of cracker, applesauce, then ice cream then some water...then they shot films to see how it went down. I was scared to death I was going to be in a MRI but at that point in time I was so far out of having any ability to put up much fuss that all I could do was whine. And not well at that.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Janet...

Sounds like a plan - come back to the well if that doesn't work, 'cause you know we like to get creative around here!
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Ohhh the standing one is even better!! I hope you can find one nearby. doctor ought to know (or know how to find out). And if he really wants that MRI done, he'll refer you.

Keeping body parts crossed you can find one.
 
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