I posted some of this on the Special Education board but

Karen & Crew

New Member
I'm really at a loss here.

difficult child is getting worse in school. He has 3 main teachers (excluding PE & elective class) and while he has difficulty with all of them there is one class that seems to be worse than others. Naturally it would be his luck to have this particular woman for the majority of the day. We've had problems with communication with her all year and I finally met with her and the principal and things are getting better in the communication department. Fact remains, though, that difficult child is going downhill.

I picked him up in carpool Friday and she met me with difficult child 2 blocks away from school for an impromptu parent-teacher conference. Seems difficult child lost it during class on Friday and had to be removed and placed in the social worker's office for the remainder of the day. We just saw difficult child's psychiatrist the beginning of the month and the soonest we could get back in was this coming Thursday. She feels he has a problem with his medication.

In the meantime I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm supposed to call the social worker at the school first thing tomorrow morning (she's only in difficult child's school Tuesdays & Fridays) then meet with the psychiatrist on Thursday evening.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Suggestions anyone?


Karen, can you be more specific about what he is doing in school that is "getting worse"? Do you think the teacher is somehow setting him off?

If he doesn't have an IEP, you should get the ball rolling by sending a letter CERTIFIED MAIL to the principal and Special Education director requesting a full and complete evaluation. I believe there are sample letters in the Special Education 101 archives.

The medications very well could be a problem. Both stimulants and SSRIs can make kids with mood dysregulation a lot worse. Hope the psychiatrist has some good suggestions on Thursday.

Karen & Crew

New Member
Sorry. I meant to include that.

Complaints I'm hearing from all his teachers but especially from this one particular teacher include:

-inability to stay seated
-blurting out
-picking fights
-refusing to do work
-getting up out of seat and wandering out of class, disappearing for as long as 15 minutes
-inability to focus on own work
-unable to work in groups
-obsessions with weird things (dust in the pencil tray of his desk, a particular crack in the floor, etc.)

His grades have went from almost straight A's to mostly C's with more and more D's and F's popping up. What's so frustrating to me is he KNOWS the answers to the stuff. He's failing because he's either not paying attention or he's so distracted that he's not completing his assignments.

For now the social worker has intervened and told the teachers that any work (that counts towards a test grade) not completed in class should be sent home for completion with the understanding that the final grade will be one lower than what he would have otherwise earned.

Edited to add that yes, I absolutely think this particular teacher is setting him off. We were at Cub Scout camp this weekend and every boy in my den (I'm the den leader) has this teacher. Even the parents of easy child boys complain about this woman and the problems their sons have in her class. She has absolutely NO control over her class.

OK, I'm off to search the Special Education archives.



New Member
i can relate. i think that my difficult child's teacher push too hard to get him to do school work and then he snaps.

i would ask to have a bip convened asap. right now my difficult child is using a wiggle seat and that seems to help him stay in his seat for the past wk. aslo we have all agreed to lower his class work expectations until we get the behaviour under control though i still think they are expecting too much seeing that we are trying to ease into medications and are currently looking at a second opinion next mth.

sounds to me that the teacher needs to be brought up to speed on how to deal with-a child w a mood disorder, as is the case in most sd.


When you talk to the SW, you need to make clear that classwork shouldn't become homework (because it will snowball and become overwhelming) and that he should not be penalized gradewise for inability to access his education. The school needs to come up with a plan to educate him, not dump it in your lap. I'm sure Martie and Sheila will have more advice for you on the Special Education 101 board.


New Member
He sounds a lot like my difficult child at that age. It might be a problem with his medication. Does he have an IEP and a BIP? It sounds like he really needs one. If not, you should write a letter to request that he be evaluated and the steps taken to get one in place for him.

What you are saying they are going to do is exactly what they tried to do with my difficult child, and smallworld is right to say that it does not work. It becomes very overwhelming to have a pile of extra catchup work, and giving him a lower grade if he does it will not help him.

sameold sameold

New Member

Small World is right. Do not let them put everything onto you. They need to educate him at school. If everything comes home than you won't be able to be "mom" you'll have to be "teacher" and that is not fair to any of you. I would suggest calling an emergency PET and quickly. Good luck

Karen & Crew

New Member
emergency PET???

Not sure what that is.

husband is reporting he didn't do his work again today.

I'll talk to the social worker first thing tomorrow and get the ball rolling on the IEP/BIP and whatever else is needed.

sameold sameold

New Member
Is your child in special education. If so you can call an official meeting. An "emergency PET" is when either the parents or the teachers call an unscheduled pupil evaulation team meeting, when things have changed. I unfortuntely have participated in quite a few. Usually PET's are scheduled for once a year, in order to get things changed and to get everyone on the same page, you really need to call an official meeting. If it is not an official PET than the teachers don't need to follow whatever suggestions are made. If it is not in writing which is what the IEP is, than it "didn't happen". Always get everything in writing. Good luck

Karen & Crew

New Member
No, he's not in special education. They want him screened/tested for gifted education and said when that happens then they said he could have an IEP. What I can't seem to get through to them that screening him for gifted education right now, when he's so out of control, would be a monumental waste of time and money.

I am going to call the social worker tomorrow and go from there. I'm going to try to work on a parent observation report. Hopefully we'll get this figured out soon.

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Sorry difficult child is struggling so much at school. I have nothing new to add advice way-just sending some cyber hugs your way.


New Member
<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> i agree with-those that said unfinished school work should not become homework. you don't need to be the one taking that on at home. when he's home he should only be doing his regular homework & i'd time~limit it as well.

he goes wandering through the school? no one stops him? goes after him? comes across him in the hall & returns him to class? he just wanders??? okay, when you get a behavior plan have part of it be he has a designated place to go for a cool down or to work off pent up energy!

so they're willing to test him for the gifted program, but not do the required evaluations to get him accomodations for his behaviors & other issues. great! that's just ducky. i'm hoping martie & sheila gave you guidance on how to deal with-this kind of crap....because that's what it is ~~~ crap!

i'm sorry, it just sets my hair on fire when teachers advise parents to have medications checked. they are not psychiatrists & usually know very little about the actual medications & what they can/can't do. they need to understand that medications are not a quick fix. :nonono: :nonono: :nonono:

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