Robinboots
New Member
difficult child 17 spent the night last night at a friend's. He was supposed to call when he got there, after work. He did not. Strike number 1, or rather, annoyance number 1.
Got up this morning to an email from my ISP. Seems that SOMEone has been illegally downloading movies and who-knows-what-else and MY account is in jeopardy. Strike 2.
Called him at 10, 10:30, and 11. Immediately after the last call, he called me, said his phone battery was dead and he'd be home in 10-15 minutes. I told him to be home in exactly 10, because....
While I was waiting for him to call back, I checked his bank account - the one from which he is NOT allowed to withdraw, but apparently did twice: on Thursday and on Friday, $80 each time. Of course, over Valentine's weekend he said he blew all his gas/spending/charity money for two weeks on his supposed girlfriend. The one who saw a different movie than he did on their date....
So I'm pretty steamed, already, when he walks in the door. I jumped his butt over all these things, plus a few more, altho I started out pretty mild:
I said that we asked that he do his laundry once a week and keep his room clean; that he provide us with a work schedule and his clock-in and clock-out slips; that we manage his money, according to a budget we drew up; and that we know when/where/with whom and that he track his mileage on the car.
All we want in return is that he do what is right, as in NOT lie, steal, cheat, etc., etc.
I told him that 90% of my life is taken up by checking on him and worrying about him and that that is NOT right. I told him that we were tired of bending over backwards and that he never seemed to "get" it, and that, since he sometimes CAN do what's right, it must surely be that he's CHOOSING to do what's wrong.
I told him I wanted him out of the house, as long as he was going to continue to behave this way. He said fine, and went to pack.
Of course, there was a lot more, as he kept trying to make comparisons between he and I and lecture me and cuss and so forth. Oh, and the kicker: he said that if I DIDN'T CHECK ON HIM, I'D NEVER KNOW what he was doing wrong. Sigh.
After he threw some stuff in a backpack, he started to leave. I said wait, I'm not done:
You have a choice to make. You want to make all your own decisions, so here it is: you can stay, as I've ALWAYS said I want you here at home, but I want you to behave; OR, you can leave.
He said I'd just call the police if he left, and I said I would not. He's 17, I don't have to. He wanted a note. I said no. I told him to make his decision.
He left. He was on his phone, you know, the one with the dead battery, as he walked down the street. And no, he didn't take the car - no way, in fact, I locked it up as soon as he left.
So, now what? Hard to say what his retaliation might be, if any. I did NOT let him take his Risperdone with him, altho he had a dose as soon as he got home this morning. He asked if I thought he'd sell it - um, yeah....
Tricky thing is that he's on probation, till June. Do I call his DJO? Or do I just let it go until Tuesday, when he's supposed to check in with her and see what happens? I'm not too worried, we live in a very safe area, he has lots of (some questionable) friends; also, of course, quite a few acquaintances who'd like to kick his azz. Temp is in the 40s during the day, he does have a job.
I thought things were better, I thought we'd make it through the year till he turns 18 in December. Argh. Sorry this is so long....
Got up this morning to an email from my ISP. Seems that SOMEone has been illegally downloading movies and who-knows-what-else and MY account is in jeopardy. Strike 2.
Called him at 10, 10:30, and 11. Immediately after the last call, he called me, said his phone battery was dead and he'd be home in 10-15 minutes. I told him to be home in exactly 10, because....
While I was waiting for him to call back, I checked his bank account - the one from which he is NOT allowed to withdraw, but apparently did twice: on Thursday and on Friday, $80 each time. Of course, over Valentine's weekend he said he blew all his gas/spending/charity money for two weeks on his supposed girlfriend. The one who saw a different movie than he did on their date....
So I'm pretty steamed, already, when he walks in the door. I jumped his butt over all these things, plus a few more, altho I started out pretty mild:
I said that we asked that he do his laundry once a week and keep his room clean; that he provide us with a work schedule and his clock-in and clock-out slips; that we manage his money, according to a budget we drew up; and that we know when/where/with whom and that he track his mileage on the car.
All we want in return is that he do what is right, as in NOT lie, steal, cheat, etc., etc.
I told him that 90% of my life is taken up by checking on him and worrying about him and that that is NOT right. I told him that we were tired of bending over backwards and that he never seemed to "get" it, and that, since he sometimes CAN do what's right, it must surely be that he's CHOOSING to do what's wrong.
I told him I wanted him out of the house, as long as he was going to continue to behave this way. He said fine, and went to pack.
Of course, there was a lot more, as he kept trying to make comparisons between he and I and lecture me and cuss and so forth. Oh, and the kicker: he said that if I DIDN'T CHECK ON HIM, I'D NEVER KNOW what he was doing wrong. Sigh.
After he threw some stuff in a backpack, he started to leave. I said wait, I'm not done:
You have a choice to make. You want to make all your own decisions, so here it is: you can stay, as I've ALWAYS said I want you here at home, but I want you to behave; OR, you can leave.
He said I'd just call the police if he left, and I said I would not. He's 17, I don't have to. He wanted a note. I said no. I told him to make his decision.
He left. He was on his phone, you know, the one with the dead battery, as he walked down the street. And no, he didn't take the car - no way, in fact, I locked it up as soon as he left.
So, now what? Hard to say what his retaliation might be, if any. I did NOT let him take his Risperdone with him, altho he had a dose as soon as he got home this morning. He asked if I thought he'd sell it - um, yeah....
Tricky thing is that he's on probation, till June. Do I call his DJO? Or do I just let it go until Tuesday, when he's supposed to check in with her and see what happens? I'm not too worried, we live in a very safe area, he has lots of (some questionable) friends; also, of course, quite a few acquaintances who'd like to kick his azz. Temp is in the 40s during the day, he does have a job.
I thought things were better, I thought we'd make it through the year till he turns 18 in December. Argh. Sorry this is so long....