I think she went back to boyfriend

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by jbrain, Jan 12, 2009.

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  1. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Well, so much for her big turning point. She called me tonight and gave me some story about how boyfriend found her at the shelter (through her social security number). She said she was filling out paperwork for a restraining order and trying to stay with a friend for a few days. She said she is trying to get into transitional housing but needs more money. (Didn't ask me for it though). I asked how Liam was and she said she might have to take him to the hospital because he has blood in his bowel movements.

    I don't know, nothing she said made sense to me and she didn't want to stay on the phone, said she was using a friend's phone.

    When we got off and I told my husband about it he and I both independently came to the conclusion that she has probably gone back to him but doesn't want to admit that to me.

    I told her to let me know about Liam, hope he is okay. I'm sure she will call with an update in a few days but I am trying to just stay detached and not worry too much. There is nothing I can do and I don't really want to know all the details.

    I knew from the night she called that this was a pretty good possibility--that it wouldn't be a clean break. I expect she will continue on and off with him for some time but maybe she will eventually leave for good.

    I could be wrong but my mom gut says she has gone back to him.

    Thanks for the support, Ladies!

  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Gut feelings are usually right...... sorry, but she left once and could do it again..... hope Liam is okay....... thinking of you and your family.......
  3. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I've worked with battered women. Sometimes the process of 'leaving' really is a process. Kind of like an addict - a few steps forward and one back. Hopefully she learned some things in her time in the shelter. Most shelters are very good at educating women about the cycle of abuse, etc.

    This has to be really hard as a mom. I can't even imagine.

    So sorry.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, Jane. :(

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    When I was at the DV shelter, I learned that it takes battered women an average of 7 times before they leave their abuser for good. The good news is, she's done it once already. That was the hard one. It will be easier for her to go back to the shelter if things get hairy.

    by the way, there is no way he could have found her at the shelter. That was said to make it look like she had not choice.

    Praying for her and that baby!
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So very sorry. It must be agony knowing she and your grandchild could be in jepordy. -RM
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I am so sorry Jane. I know how much you wanted her to stay away from boyfriend. Trusting your gut is always good. Go with it and many {{{hugs}}} to you. I will keep her and Liam in my thoughts. I hope he is okay.
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry Jane. You were so excited when she left him. One step forward, two steps back - hu? I know you are worried and to tell you not to worry would be a waste of time as you are mom and what do moms do best - worry!!! Try to detach as much as possible. You are right, there really isn't anything you can do. She'll eventually get tired of him and leave for good.

    Hoping all is well with Liam. Let us know if you here anything else.

  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Jane, I'm so sorry.
    BBK is right though. The first time leaving is the hardest, and it does take many false starts before it "sticks".

    Saying many prayers for little Liam. Your difficult child has shown that her Warrior Mom side is in there. Saying prayers that she grows in strength and finds it within herself to do the right thing for Liam and herself.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I left 6 times before I had enough and said - I'm worth more.

    Hang tough.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. Mom instincts are usually right on the $. It will take her time, but as he puts Liam in danger she WILL stand up and leave him for good one day.

    I hope and pray Liam is OK, and that she gets medical help for him ASAP. It really sounds like she is trying to be a good mom, and that is a big step for many of our daughters, esp the difficult child ones.

    Gentle hugs for you.
  12. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

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