I am new here and I posted yesterday about my son and his depression and some things we found out by reading his diary and searching his phone. Yesterday we took his phone and did an extensive search - we searched everything on it. When I say I am beyond distressed by what I found he is looking at on a daily basis - I just feel I can't even function today. My son used to bounce around the house, always smiling, joking, laughing, loved going to church, loved hanging out with his sister and their friends, enjoyed school and now he's playing violent video games, he's following some disturbing people on YouTube - like really weird (I hate to be judgmental I really do) people, mostly in their 20's, he's messaging people through Instagram, he's watching perverted videos. And we haven't even searched his easy child yet! Every mom says their kid is a "good kid" and I want to say my son is a good kid, I don't even know him now, but when I speak of him a few years ago, what I knew of him, he was such a good kid and I don't know when the spiraling even happened - the anger he harbors is immense, he won't talk to us AT ALL, only small bits and pieces. I could barely look at any more content last night. I cried and cried. My 19 YO daughter gave me comfort, but she doesn't know the extent of her brothers problems. What did I do? Someone please tell me where did I go wrong? Did I not give him enough attention because I have a big family? I have a child with Asperger's and he needs a lot of attention, I have a daughter that was a preemie, now 7 who has Dyslexia and needs a lot of help academically, plays sports that I have to go to and my other teenage daughter is learning to drive and has SATs and I have to take her to work. I have health issues as well with chronic migraines, etc. Maybe he got lost in the shuffle? What made him want to look at content that's so perverted? Someone please just give me something to help me hold on.