I like your idea, Fran, to get your son evaluated.
difficult child 1 is high-functioning, extremely. And a rule-follower. His problem is that he ias difficulty multi=tasking, which is a big problem with the upredictabilitty that can happen when you're driving. For example, he had a nasty accident the week before Christmas. It as an unseasonal wet day (OK, these days ANY really wet day in Sydney seems to be unseasonal!) plus he was driving tired, I suspect. He IS a rule followr in the extreme, but was distracted to the point that he just didn't see that the light had changed to red, so he ran a red light and t-boned a BMW.
Then later that day, he discovered that he didn't have the insurance he thought he had, so he will be up for the entire repair costs to the BMW. Not good.
It wasn't a case of him thinking, "The light has only just changed; I think I can slide through," he really hadn't realised it had changed. I suspect there was just too much going on. He wasn't speeding, or he and the other driver would have been injured.
Where we felt he was justified in giving things a go at last, was his increased capability with computer games. To a certain extent driving is like playing a computer game over and over (a very sophisticated computer game!). A lot of the actions become automatic, but based on the evidence coming in through your eyes, your fingertips, your ears, all processed by your brain.
MwM, the parking lots idea is a really good one, it's what husband did with our kids. We have a really good area where we can go, it's behind our village hall. WHen there is nothing on in the hall there are no cars parked there. However, there ARE big bins. Our big bins are plastic and on two wheels. It's no big deal to nudge them with a car (especially if they're empty). Alternatively, we take down our own household plastic bins in the back of the car and set them up. What we do as driver instructors - we mark out a line which is the kerb. We then put one bin in front against the kerb (a car width out) and the next one behind, with a parking space between. The student then has to learn to reverse park, using the bins as the back corner of the front car, and the front corner of the back car. We also teach them to use their mirrors.
Other good training exercises are reversing for a distance using the rear vision mirrors (the middle one or both side ones) as well as reversing while looking over your shoulder. We make it s little more complicated by using witches hats (if we can get some) to make them navigate a curved path.
Kids in Australia have to do their test in a manual car, if they want to be permitted to drive a manual after they get teir licence. Otherwise their licence will be endorsed "automatic only". So bring in a manual car and you have a lot more nasty stuff they have to learn. Hill starts, slipping the clutch, reverse parking on a hill (facing either direction) and push starting when the starter's not working well. An early lesson from husband involves driving the car as smoothly and SLOWLY as possible, a foot an hour sort of speed. It involves learning really, really good clutch control. We do this in our (level) driveway, which canscare the crud out of our kids because they're scared they'll hit the wrong pedal and race up the driveway. It makes them a lot more careful. I remember him teaching tis to easy child in mother in law's old house which had a very steep driveway. She had to hold the car on the hill, using the clutch, then begin to ease the car slightly forward, again using the clutch. Doing it without the handbrake really made her work hard.
A kid who can play computer games really well has the potential to be a good driver. A Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid has the likelihood of knowing the road rules better than the examiner, and will never knowingly break the rules; not and feel happy about it.
We were able to get our hands on some computer games which were designed around our road rules. One of these games was produced by our NRMA and was called "Shift". It was designed as a refresher course in road rules (and how complex a situation can be) for new drivers. If you can't find something similar, maybe you could track down the Aussie ones? But surely there should be something in your state. Or if there isn't, see if your amazing son can design one in the time he needs to spend waiting for the insurance to be more sensibly affordable. Lucas is a game-head like my boys, isn't he? Doing something like that would drill him in the rules, would give him something practical to work on and in the event he succeeds, would make enough money to keep you in a style to which we all would like to become accustomed! Then insurance costs needn't be the issue.
OK, maybe a little light humour here, but stranger things have happened.
Marg
Well, I've never had an accident! But still...when is the right time to give a kid a license? Need some feedback.
He might just surprise you. And hopefully he won't want to try out for Nascar!!!
