If none of us are this kid's parent

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I wonder if he is an illegitimate nephew. Remember the air traffic controller strike years back? That summer my parents sent bro and I to different friends/relatives while they did business stuff for a week. Dad went home alone, bro was to fly to meet mom and I and then we would all drive home to meet dad.

    Bro wanted to go sightsee in Difficult Child on his layover. That was one hour. So he changed his flight, even wrangled until the airline gave it to him for free, and spent 24 hours alone in Difficult Child. At age 14. No hotel, not much money, had a total blast. Of course none of us knew it until he didn't get off the plane and the airline showed he was changed from an unaccompanied minor to a minor flying iwth a parent to Difficult Child. My folks were SOOOOOOO FREAKED and ANGRY. but what could they do? Dad was in OH and Mom was in VA with me. Boy that was NOT a fun ride home, lol.

    So I totally feel for the parents. And I firmly believe that whatever God I believe in watches out for these kids out of pure pity for the parents who would have to cope with their deaths due to these adventures they sneak out on. And the siblings who would have to survive the aftermath of that grief.

    The stuff bro has done while travelling as an adult makes that seem like a mild, timid little adventure you let your two year old watch. Like spending a week on a bench outside a public toilet in a major city in India because you took antibiotics for an infection and drank alcohol anyway. In a part of that country where drinking alcohol in ANY form is illegal and punishable by death. He was too sick to even try to get to a hotel a few blocks away. He knew two families in that country, and both were many hours away by train. I won't mention sneaking into Nepal with-o the proper visas etc.... Same trip. It was not the only area he went itno that was both at war and not legal for him to enter. He is an idiot, and only pity for my mother has allowed his Higher Power to allow him to live.

    This is why I am so sure there is a God. Otherwise? Natural selection clearly would have ended him years ago.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I heard the parents saying they were having trouble getting him help. Surprise.
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    He stole a car? The article says that CPS has visited them 4 times this year. How much have we failed when we can't get a family like this help? This story just shocks me, but only because I know that there must be tens of thousands more like him that we haven't heard about.

    Here's some nice little statistics for us to ponder:

    Private jails are guaranteed a 90% occupancy rate by the states they operate in.

    It costs $178,000 to house an inmate in New York for one year.

    Most poor people with a mental illness or substance addiction will be forced to go to jail, but can to choose to not get treatment.

    Who are we helping? Not those who need it. Not ourselves. Making sure that all of our neighbors are uneducated, hungry, and unaware of societal norms "because I'm sick of government handouts for freeloaders" is no way to go through life.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I totally agree with you, esp about needing access and hte abiliity to pay for sub abuse and mental health treatment because those things create poverty and in my opinion that keeps us ALL poor. Providing care for those who need it when it is in the early days of the problem is not only the right thing to do, vastly more humane, and the time when the help has the best chance of working, it is also vastly more cost effective. The problems are not compounded by complications, time and other problems.

    I do wonder exactly what services could help this boy and his family? I know it ould take a herd of tdocs, psychiatrists and other professionals to really help my brother. I also know my parents DID take him to a therapist, and when they realized that maybe medications would help, they paid for that also. I just have zero idea who he would have listened to as a kid, and what type of help could have changed what he did.

    I have spent a large amt of my life wondering what is wrong with him, knowing SOMETHING was because normal people don't behave that way, and being fairly aware that he could fool 98%+ of the people much of the time. Until he is ready to change, NO help will work.

    Of course it does not mean we stop trying. It does mean it is super easy to dumb down the situation to a soundbite that the someone will exploit, in my opinion. I guess that is the definition of politics lately though.
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I saw the father speaking at a news conference today where he said he's been asking and asking for help, but no one has stepped in to help. I feel badly for him.
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid that it may be that this is not the first generation of this family that has been abandoned by society. So very sad, and so very wrong.

    I'd want to look back and see if the family had options. Probably not - it costs a fortune and we all know that! Was the child in Head Start, or did he just start Kindergarten at nearly aged 6 and no one had ever even considered him before? I could just scream when I see the abject poverty around me, the little kids in underwear and bare feet playing in front of the boarded up mobile home with a stick in the red clay. Daddy's got a dirt bike and a four-wheeler, though. Nothing nice, but he has his priorities. When he's around.

    I'm not saying that's what this family is like. I'm saying that we have badly failed more than a couple of generations of children, and when a 9 year old knows how to steal cars and get on the highway with them, take the train to the amusement park and slip in with another family, and get on a plane to Vegas without a ticket, they have all been needing help for a very long time. It gives me the heebie-jeebies thinking of it.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I, too, am saddened by this story. on the other hand, there are thousands of stories that we never hear about where HELP is needed and families can't get professional assistance. Sadly many of us KNOW where that family is and likely where they will be in the future. When the Dad said "I had a meeting at the school and they are trying.....BUT we NEED help"
    I remember having to sell my house to afford the special help that my first difficult child needed to function. Things have not improved in fifty years. Sigh! DDD
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member