Can you send some cyber strength my way? In addition to all that is going on with Matt (noted in the PE section) I also still have 3 huge things looming over my head. Truthfully I was feeling so much better, and now I am going back to feeling numb and dumb inside, if you know what I mean. Just unable to do much more than the normal daily functioning. My mom's house (my childhood home) did sell. It is a done deal. So I am flying to Dallas in 10 days to help her pack up the rest of the stuff, and say goodbye to the house. I wouldn't have thought losing a house was such a big deal - but it turns out it is to me. I am really sad about it - I guess because it was always "my house" to come home to, although I never moved back in after I moved out. Still, it was an anchor, just as my Dad was an anchor, only in a different way. Talk about the rapture - it sometimes feels like something is just scooping up large chunks of my life and spreading it amongst the heavens. It is an unsettling, cold feeling - and sad. The second thing I have to do is go to Oregon at the beginning of July and scatter my Dad's ashes with my sisters. I can't tell you how hard this is going to be for me. I am still not actually sure I can do this - but I know I can. It is just the thought of hiking to the top of that mountain and not only saying goodby and grieving over my dad, but also my sister again. I still have so much pain about her, and I try to keep it at an arm's length - but in this experience it will impossible to keep the pain away. The third thing is then figuring out the rest of my life. I have lived in this vortex of being fired, my dad's death and the aftermath for almost 9 months now. I know I have to move on. Literally. I have to either pick a state and move and then find a job or vice a versa. But this town is not working for me and unemployment, nor do I think it works for Matt and his severe need for psychological help. That thought is a large looming albatross - and for now I am stuck. Any, thanks for the insight and support regarding all of this.