I'm new- and thankful to have found this forum

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ryzgal, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. ryzgal

    ryzgal Guest

    I hope I am posting this in the correct place, and that I completed my 'signature' properly.

    I found this site while investigating symptoms of ODD and Bipolar in teens. And then I wept with gratitude! My husband and feel as though we've gone a few rounds with a prize fighter after daily episodes with our teen son. He is a wonderful child, and we truly are blessed. But by golly, he is exhausting and exasperating, and we thought it was 'just him', and 'just us'! I'm not meaning to sound callous by saying I'm grateful to read others problems, but grateful that there is hope and resources out there for us!

    Our son was diagnosis with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (he also has slight tics with this) by age 7 (he had signs of it at 3 but they wouldn't diagnosis him that early). He was also diagnosis with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Attention Deficit Disorder without Hyperactivity. Shortly after he was diagnosis with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. He has always had strong opinions, been extremely willfull, and always liked to push boundaries. He is not a bad kid, just a little more difficult than most. When not in one of his moods, he is kind, thoughtful, funny, witty, exremely bright, and caring. The last few years (since around 10-11) the behavior has progressed to include more attacks of moodiness, anger & rage, resentment, delusions, over exagerated grandiosity, inflated sense of entitelment etc. To me it seems more than just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ODD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). We have been asking about bipolar, but keep hitting a wall because his psychiatrist feels that he doesn't have the mania of elation or giddiness. Otherwise he has all the other symptoms. We are by no means perfect parents, and have made many mistakes, but we are loving parents, devoted and dedicated, but feel like utter failures at this point. Our son can go from being loving and sweet to absolutely vicious and hateful at the drop of a dime, and usually following any type of what he perceives as an attack on his intelligence or 'specialness'. He cannot tolerate being told what to do, he tells us he is our 'equal', and therefore he can do whatever we do and should only have to abide by laws of the country not laws of our household (his reasoning).
    I just realized I went on a rambling stretch there. Sorry :redface: I won't post all of our issues in this one thread!

    I really just wanted to introduce myself (and my family), say hi, and get to know more about this board.

    I am open to any info on ODD and Bipolar, including personal experiences, that you feel could help us gain some footing here. We really feel as though we've been floundering for the last few years. We are hoping this site can help us!


    PS, please let me know if I've posted this thread in the wrong place lol
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Stac,
    I'm so glad you found us (sorry you had to though). You will find much support here. I found this corner of the world about 6 years ago and it has been a true lifesaver!

    Your sentence that said, "Our son can go from being loving and sweet to absolutely vicious and hateful at the drop of a dime," reminds me so much of my difficult child.

    Has your son ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? Many of us here recommend that along with the psychiatrist. If you really feel your psychiatrist is missing bipolar you may want to get a second opinion.

    by the way, you posted in the right place and your signature looks great!

    Again, Welcome:)
  3. idohope

    idohope Member

    Hi and Welcome,

    We all understand the relief of finding this site and understand that there is no joy in reading other people's struggles but joy in knowing that you are not alone and that there are other people who get it and are dealing with what you are dealing with.

    I dont have any advice just empathy. My difficult child tells me all the time "You cant make me" and that I do not control her life in anyway just because I am her parent.When it comes to things such as her staying home by herself etc she has looked up state laws to tell me what she can and can not do. It is a common statement that I have seen in posts here with children viewing themselves on equal footing with adults.

    We have worked with therapists for several years and have had bad luck with bad therapists and with a good therapist moving away. difficult child was generally non-compliant but it has been useful in getting husband and I on the same page and providing support to the siblings. difficult child was/is highly resistant to therapy. We are planning to start difficult child on medication soon. Abilify. I see that is what your difficult child is on. Has it helped?

    Welcome again and good luck
  4. ryzgal

    ryzgal Guest

    thanks for the reply :D

    no, he's never seen a neuropsychiatrist. he's seen a neurologist for possible seizure disorder, but it was negative. they did tell me that ADD can exhibit as staring seizures, so they decided that's all it was. But someone else advised me that inattentiveness can also be part of bipolar. He literally 'checks out' where it seems a switch is flipped and he turns off. It's very disconcerting!

    We meet again with his psychiatrist next week to discuss a change in his medications. They just increased his celexa back up to 40mg, but it seems to actually have made his irritablity and irrational behavior worse. (yet another reason why the psychiatrist thinks no on bipolar because she says if behavior is worse on those medications, then medications won't help him for that). I'm going to ask again for an evaluation or a second opinion. I think I might be able to go to his pediatrician and ask for a referral to the children's hospital to get a second opinion.

    He meets with his counselor today to start dealing with anger issues, and learning some ways to cope with his feelings of rage. We've been to so many counselors and family therapists already. But they are finally starting to deal with the ODD as an actual issue and not just behavior that needs correcting. Does that make sense?
    We've been made to feel as though we just aren't parenting the right way. It's hard to have friends because we feel judged (or that our child is going to be judged). Man, am I sounding like a big whiny baby? Sorry!

    So here's a question-
    Is it normal to feel massive amounts of guilt (for all the ways you can find to blame yourself for your difficult child issues) AND feel so much anger at your sweet precious baby that makes you want to throttle them? Is that bad? ;) But through it all, still feel so much love for them?

    Thanks again for this site,
  5. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member


    My difficult child and yours have a bit in common. Mine is not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but he does have some repetitive habits. So far Dr. sees them as benign, kind of fidgeting stuff...I guess.

    As for the bi polar, welcome again. Check my signature line, we have much in common. My son doesn't have full blow bi polar so we have what I like to call "bi polar lite" -----Cyclothemia aka cyclic mood disorder that is a lot like but not quite bi polar and can transition to that diagnosis should symptoms persist 2 years or worsen. My difficult child is more on the depressive side with a touch of silliness bordering more on adhd type stuff instead of manic. What has him classified in that sense is the shifts in mood. I'm willing to bet you can totally get what I am saying as far as that goes. : ) My difficult child has a touch of the ODD as well. A touch, lol who am I kidding, he is a royal pain. He doesn't have general anxiety but he major social anxiety.(are they twins that were separated at birth or what?)

    My difficult child was "different" from an early age but nothing we could ever pin point or prove. Took me over a decade to finally get somewhere toward the reality of it all because most people just aren't experienced in anything atypical besides adhd. When he was young his symptoms were milder so it got ignored by the pros and chalked up to delays and difficulties. My son can be bright, witty and quite entertaining when not in a mood as well. We also hit the danger zone at 11-12 ish.

    No harm in a second opinion if what you have isn't working.

    Ditto on the floundering. I finally got those inflatable arm floaties and while I empathize with you I am totally jazzed to meet you, I have a feeling we will collide a lot in here.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Celexa being an antidepressant usually won't help someone with bipolar unless they are stable first. My difficult child gets much more irritable on antidepressants or stimulants. Due to his bipolar he cannot have either.

    Please don't blame yourself for your difficult child's behaviors-it isn't something you are doing. Reading The Explosive Child is a recommended book and can be a huge help.

    by the way, yes, it's normal to want to throttle them and still love them. There are many days I don't like my difficult child but never a day I don't love him.

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Welcome to our little corner of the world.
  8. ryzgal

    ryzgal Guest

    Thanks again for all the replies

    Re: Abilify. When he was first put on it, it was like heaven. Within a few weeks he was noticably calmer, more together, less irritable, not as easily set off if you know what I mean. However, over time it seems to have lost its magic. The psychiatrist may increase the Abilify at his next appointment while also taking him off Celexa and putting him on Zoloft. I don't know that I am thrilled with the Zoloft idea, especially since I feel he has bipolar, and have heard this can trigger mania. But it seems once you start down the antidepressant road, more and more medications get added to the mix!

    Re: Celexa. The celexa was rx for his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and some of his anxiety (no one really addresses the anger, irritabliity, rage, outbursts, irrationality, delusions etc except to say it may be just a biproduct of his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety *sigh*). It did seem to calm down his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for awhile. His dose was actually decreased for a long time, but his symptoms right now are barely managable. So it was doubled, and that's when we saw an increase in his other symptoms, and his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) seems worse. Not sure what happened.

    I am truly frustrated with medicines. :mad: and doctors. But keeping hopes high and fingers crossed for this next appointment.

    Should I have started a new thread?? LOL I will get this down, don't worry!
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to add my welcome.