klmno
Active Member
I feel overloaded- emotionally and mentally. I'm trying not to get into "victim" mode here but sometimes it seems like everyone and everything is a battle and no one is working on the same wavelength. So, I'm writing to help break down the issues in my own mind and try to address each one in the best way, given the amount of (or lack of) control I might have for each issue. Any suggestions are appreciated!!
1) difficult child (and I) need a therapist. Ok, I have calls into 2 right now who were recommended to see if either are accpeting new patients and if I can get an appointment.
2) School. Well, we're just not on the same page. The only accommodations they are willing to make are things I don't think will help. Yes, I'm willing to try them. But, difficult child has major memory issues right now and organizational problems. It could be a result of medications (2 mood stabilizers) but I'm not sure. The BIG thing I've tried to get them to do this school year (not in past or in the future- just right now) is to initial homework agenda and make sure difficult child has correct homework worksheets ready to bring home. He has a collaborative teacher (I don't know that she does anything other than monitor behavior) but she's not addressing this in any way. The regular teachers have done all but refuse to help in this area saying "they just don't have time and he should be able to do this, I'll never be able to get teachers to do this in high school so they shouldn't have to do it now, etc." It's written in the IEP to do it. I don't know what to do about this- I can't believe I have to get an attorney to get this done.
3) difficult child is having melt-downs over homework and getting it back and forth to school. Now he says he doesn't even care any more. Well, isn't that just great. This stems from him telling me several times, and his psychiatrist, that he reads something then can't remember what he reads 2 minutes afterwards. psychiatrist says he's trying to decipher if it's medications, attitude, or a ADHD side coming out. After several months of this, difficult child is throwing his arms up and saying forget it. I don't know what to do about that- except for me to TRY REALLY HARD not to say "I give up, too". Of coourse, this helps a lot with trying to get sd on board (LOL) I need this mental health day for myself.
4) psychiatrist has difficult child on 2 mood stabilizers as I mentioned. Now says maybe since moods are stabilized, there might be an ADHD side coming out and difficult child might need a stimulant added. Well, difficult child was never ADHD before and I'm really concerned that a stime would only need to be added to compensate for effects of mood stabilizers, then something else would need to be added to compensate for stimulant effects, and this could go on and on. Should I get a new psychiatrist on board? i'm hoping we can get a good therapist and maybe change to a psychiatrist in their office.
5) difficult child turns 13 this Sat. A week or so ago he went out to play when he was supposed to stay home and help me do something first. So, he lost bicycle priveledges until he earns them back with 1 week of good behavior. And, I told him he better be on best behavior from then until birthday if he wanted to have a sleep over that night. Saturday, he has a rage and goes to friend's house. So, he lost sleep-over opportunity. My big concern here is that this has happened his last 3 birthdays. The exact same thing. Then he gets more and more uncontrollable, overly emotional- like a basket case- until he does something major. It last from holidays until spring break then he's a "normal" kid again. Is it inadequate medications? Is there anything I can do to break this pattern?
I'll stop here, as I know this is already long enough and the other stuff is secondary to these worries.
Thanks in advance for letting me vent- to anyone who reads this!!
1) difficult child (and I) need a therapist. Ok, I have calls into 2 right now who were recommended to see if either are accpeting new patients and if I can get an appointment.
2) School. Well, we're just not on the same page. The only accommodations they are willing to make are things I don't think will help. Yes, I'm willing to try them. But, difficult child has major memory issues right now and organizational problems. It could be a result of medications (2 mood stabilizers) but I'm not sure. The BIG thing I've tried to get them to do this school year (not in past or in the future- just right now) is to initial homework agenda and make sure difficult child has correct homework worksheets ready to bring home. He has a collaborative teacher (I don't know that she does anything other than monitor behavior) but she's not addressing this in any way. The regular teachers have done all but refuse to help in this area saying "they just don't have time and he should be able to do this, I'll never be able to get teachers to do this in high school so they shouldn't have to do it now, etc." It's written in the IEP to do it. I don't know what to do about this- I can't believe I have to get an attorney to get this done.
3) difficult child is having melt-downs over homework and getting it back and forth to school. Now he says he doesn't even care any more. Well, isn't that just great. This stems from him telling me several times, and his psychiatrist, that he reads something then can't remember what he reads 2 minutes afterwards. psychiatrist says he's trying to decipher if it's medications, attitude, or a ADHD side coming out. After several months of this, difficult child is throwing his arms up and saying forget it. I don't know what to do about that- except for me to TRY REALLY HARD not to say "I give up, too". Of coourse, this helps a lot with trying to get sd on board (LOL) I need this mental health day for myself.
4) psychiatrist has difficult child on 2 mood stabilizers as I mentioned. Now says maybe since moods are stabilized, there might be an ADHD side coming out and difficult child might need a stimulant added. Well, difficult child was never ADHD before and I'm really concerned that a stime would only need to be added to compensate for effects of mood stabilizers, then something else would need to be added to compensate for stimulant effects, and this could go on and on. Should I get a new psychiatrist on board? i'm hoping we can get a good therapist and maybe change to a psychiatrist in their office.
5) difficult child turns 13 this Sat. A week or so ago he went out to play when he was supposed to stay home and help me do something first. So, he lost bicycle priveledges until he earns them back with 1 week of good behavior. And, I told him he better be on best behavior from then until birthday if he wanted to have a sleep over that night. Saturday, he has a rage and goes to friend's house. So, he lost sleep-over opportunity. My big concern here is that this has happened his last 3 birthdays. The exact same thing. Then he gets more and more uncontrollable, overly emotional- like a basket case- until he does something major. It last from holidays until spring break then he's a "normal" kid again. Is it inadequate medications? Is there anything I can do to break this pattern?
I'll stop here, as I know this is already long enough and the other stuff is secondary to these worries.
Thanks in advance for letting me vent- to anyone who reads this!!