inpatient residential facilities?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by seekinghope, Jul 2, 2008.

  1. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Looking for a long term inpatient facility that deals with anxiety and ODD and or Conduct disorder for a 15 yr. old boy in NY.
    He is currently being held for evaluation for the second time this year.
    It looks like it may be adolescence onset.
    He has always been a student on the high honor roll and involved in sports.
    He has had issues with sadness but I thought this would correct itself as he was doing well in the most other avenues in his life.
    His spiral downward has been so aggressive that there is no alternative but to keep him in a safe place until some placement can be made.
    Looking for some help, found this site.
    Thank you,
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome. I'm glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.

    We have a policy on this site not to recommend doctors or treatment facilities by name. However, anyone with specific information about treatment facilities is welcome to PM (personal message) you.

    We are always here, however, for other information and support. Can you tell us a little more about what happened? What kind of doctor has diagnosed him and what kind of doctor is treating him? What kind of facility is he in now? Is he taking any medications? If so, what?

    Again, welcome.
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi and welcome - one site that used to be listed on this site was

    I hate to admit it, but I don't pay attention to the ads anymore, so I don't know if it still is referenced here or not, but I believe in the past Lon Woodbury (his site above) has had good information about schools/RTCs.

    Another option would be to check out your state dept. of education website. Here in IL, our DOE lists approved private schools (including residential) and breaks them down by diagnosis or illness. If you have a good relationship with your school district, they might also be a good resource.

    Additionally, if he's currently inpatient, the psychiatrist and/or social worker at the hospital might have some suggestions for you.

    Again, welcome. You are most definitely not alone.
  4. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Hello, and thanks for the replies. I'll try that web site.....
    Sorry this is long. I hope someone has the patients to read it.
    My son turned 15 in a mental hospital in Jan. this year. Up until the age of 14 I had what I thought to be a pretty "normal" kid. Our lives as a family have been pretty normal. Two other kids doing well in collage and one more on the way. My husband, his step-father and I have been together since he was 4.
    I always knew he had some issues with mood swings and social issues but he was managing. He had been on a gluten free diet and taking cod liver oil for 2 yrs. The diet seemed to help, but was too difficult to maintain into the teen years.He will not return to it, I think?
    My son had been a high achiever with very little school absentees, last year he was on the principles' list with an average of 95 all by himself. His school is in a very rural setting and has limited sports but he played soccer, basketball and baseball which kept him busy all during the school year.
    My son's accomplishments though were obtained due to the fact that his other siblings also did well in school and not due to any "liking' he felt for education or sports. I have noticed for a couple of years now that he lacks connection to the world.
    He loves me and that seems to be it and when we are at odds then he hates me.
    He started off the school year OK a 93 average and soccer. I suspected he was using some marijuana, and his friendships changed,then due to his friends getting caught with some serious drugs he was suspended. He did not have any,non the less he was still suspended. His drug test at this time was neg.
    After this suspension he went crazy. He started using marijuana daily, he became physically violent with me,broke household items, started swearing. We would wake up and it would start. He would wake early and start with the pacing. it was like looking at a caged animal holding a time bomb. He missed so many days of school he was in danger of not passing. It came to a head in Jan. when he brought a knife into the car with me; he had been threating subside, I grabbed the knife wound-up in the hospital and the police took him to the hospital.
    He was released after 3 weeks to go live with his dad. That lasted a month. He was using marijuana so heavily his father could not handle him and he sent him back to me where he was sent to rehab for almost 3 months. Doing well he was released. It was a duel facility so he was put on resperadol, zoloft, and ativan(spelling).
    He lasted 7 days at home and his behavior was so out of control we took him back where he now is at the mental hospital, been there 3 weeks.
    I have been reading a lot. I want to help my son and make sure he goes to the right treatment center; also it needs to take my insurance. I don't know what he needs, Borderline (BPD), conduct disorder, How will I know?
    Can someone help me!
    I am
  5. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    So I posted further info. about my son a few days ago. Don't know what happened to that post?

  6. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Guess I am not getting any help here....
    Must be I am doing something wrong?
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Seekinghope, your posts weren't showing up because you're new to the board and they needed to be approved by a moderator. I'm sorry it took so long.

    Now that everyone can see your posts, I'm sure you'll get some responses. Hang in there.
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I don't have any experience with what facilities are out there. Wanted to welcome you and say that I feel your hurting. When this happens after years of "normal" your life goes crazy for months. I am glad you have found this first step of help and hope you can find the next.

    I had a mini episode similar with my 11 yr old last year. He just went downhill so fast and I didn't have a clue what was going on - so scary, lots of tears for both difficult child and myself - More so for you with the violence involved.

    I hope you are still checking in here - now that we can all see your post I am sure there are several out there who have actually been there done that and can be of help.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is a good guess, but just a guess. WHen a child deteriorates that badly, it is usually due to recreational drug use and my guess is that it's beyond pot. Some drugs don't show up in drug tests. Some kids abuse over the counter medications. Some crush and snort ADHD medication. At any rate, my daughter went from "a little sad sometimes" to totally out of control, and we didn't know what the problem was either (we were told bipolar and a little pot use). To make a very long story short, she is clean now and we are shocked at how deeply she had been involved in drugs. We had never guessed. She not only snorted the ADHD drugs with/without cocaine, but hse did ecstasy, downers (for sleeping) and even some heroin (twice). She used to shoot up in the soles of her feet, but usually did not shoot up. She was hospitalized and they did NOT catch the drug use and she denied it. The drug test was negative. She also changed her friends (big red flag). Usually what parents know is a drop in the bucket to what are kids are actually doing. Your son actually sounds more violent than my daughter. She only completely lost it a few times. She did sleep a lot, but we thought that was because she was going to school and doing homework late at night (um, it hadn't been homework). Nobody ever figured out her problem. She had to tell us after it was over. SHe still gets upset more easily than other people and sometimes gets a little depressed, but she is not on medication nor will she take any now. She hates drugs now AND drinking (don't rule out heavy drinking).
    I wish you luck in finding a place for your son.
  10. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Hello Seeking Hope,
    Just wanted to offer my support. I don't have any advice as my son is younger so I haven't had to worry about drug use. I did wonder, like MM sugested, if there are more drugs involved given the dramatic change in behavior.

    I wish you the best in finding help for your son.
  11. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Thank you so much for the help, I'll take any and all. Thought I was doing something wrong.
    The doctor is looking for a drug rehab (long term) right now. He says the options because of his age are limited He would like a duel facility that treats 13-18 yrs old and takes my insurance but if I wait for that it may take a very long time to get a bed, so for now we will address the drugs.
    I can totally relate to people on this board talking about their child being annoying. My son began at about 13 to try and control all my time. He followed me around constantly. When he wasn't in school he would spend hours doing homework and needing me to stay next to him. He only wanted to go see movies if we were going alone etc. He always found excuses to exclude me and him from the rest of the family. He needed a lot of soothing and for a teen his world seemed very small.
    This was strange to me because my son is smart, tall, thin,and handsome yet he never developed any relationships, no friends over etc.
    The one thing I had noticed always with my son is that he never seemed "comfortable" anywhere other then with me or my mom.
    He also could only handle one intimate relationship at a time, if he was on the odds with me he would talk to his dad or vice-a-versa. I believe now that that was because my son was better able to manipulate the person he was having contact with (hate mom, manipulate dad, hate dad manipulate mom)
    The doctor believes he started to "self medicate" and from there it got out of control.
    Again thank you, there is so much on this site I can relate too.
    I am
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, I just wanted to add my Welcome!! I can't help with long-term places for help, but it does sound like the doctors are on the right track with helping him. I would agree that it sounds like something (anxiety, depression, BiPolar (BP)- I don't know) was going on with him before and then he started self-medicating. It sounds like you are doing all you can at this point- hang in there!
  13. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Your story sounds all too familiar to me. My son was ADHD or so the diagnosis was when he was around 6 years old. Some of the same personality traits as your son. He stopped taking his medication when he was in high school and substituted it with pot. From then on it was a downward spiral. He has gone to rehabs, counselors, doctors and they have said he has anxiety. but they prescribe him Xanax which is addictive and not good ......... so after 8 years he is going to prison for contributing to the deliquency of a minor pills to a 15 year old. My son is now 24. He needs long term treatment also but now he has the choice to say he doesnt want to go - we had him involuntarily commited to a facility twice for treatment - we had him placed in a drug rehab in georgia and he got kicked out - so i know where you are coming from and how desparate you are to find help. This is a good place to come. I am sure someone will PM you with some ideas. Otherwise hang in there. you are doing the right thing.
  14. Welcome. You have come to the right place for support. Everyone here is very supportive. I have not had any problems with drugs, so I can't be of help to you there, but I did want to welcome you.