with my second son, I'll call him GFGII. It's a really long story, but I'll try to pare it down. GFGII is 15. I've known him since he was 7. He spends a lot of time at my house, whether easy child is home or not. He's a really good kid; has a good heart, fiercely loyal. He is a textbook case of ODD. For a while he was on depakote (no, he's not bipolar; it was rx'd for ODD) and it helped quite a bit, however his home life, specifically his step-father, was such that it just fueled his ODD more. Step-dad is now out of the picture. However, prior to step-dad leaving he went to live with his bio dad. Bio-dad is a difficult child himself. Actually, bio-dad is just a selfish, ignorant, bully that likes to huff and puff a lot. Bio-dad doesn't believe in medications, so GFGII hasn't been on any medications for quite a while. GFGII initially showed much improvement with bio-dad; he brought his grades up, seemed much less angry, made new friends, etc. But things have been brewing lately. Discovered that GFGII has been sneaking out, being destructive, stealing, started smoking, has smoked pot, you get the idea. A few weeks ago, GFGII and bio-dad really got into it. Bio-dad had his hands around GFGII's neck. GFGII left and went to a friends. This other friend (we have since learned that all his friends are difficult child's in their own right, although GFGII may well be the biggest difficult child) had a fight with his parents and decided he wasn't staying home. So they slept outside somewhere until the police picked him up. Friend's parents had reported friend missing and he was already on probation so he was taken into custody and GFGII was just taken to the police precinct where he called his mom (my friend) and she picked him up and brought him to her house. She's decided that he's not going back to bio-dad's. Keeping up? I just got done chatting online with GFGII. He's telling me that he's thinking about staying down at his dad's house, but not really staying there; he'd be staying with a couple of friends instead. I talked to him about this for a while then told him that I really didn't think it was going to be an option for him. This is the part that gets interesting. He said he'd make it an option; that he "really really doesn't listen to people". I told him that I knew that and asked him what was going to happen when he got an attitude and/or didn't listen? (by the way, I give it all of a day and a half before that happens.) I told him that these people are not his parents and don't have to take care of him and once they'd had enough they'd kick him out. He said he knew that and that's why he listens to those people; that he knows when to get his act in gear. Don't you think that kind of says it all? I told him he's going to have a hard life with that view on things; that he was going to have to learn the hard way. I feel so sad for him. He has so much potential and he doesn't see that he's essentially shooting himself in the foot. I've talked to him a lot over the years and my home has been a safe haven for him often. I wish there was some way to get through to him. I certainly don't know how to. It really hit me tonight that he really is going to have to learn the hard way. And who knows if he ever will. He seems to think that the rules apply to everyone, but him. Sigh... by the way, he spent several days at another friend's house a couple weeks ago and ended up getting kicked out of there. So apparently he's not as good at it as he seems to think. Everytime I talk to him someone has him off (his words)...so much anger. I'm pretty sure I him off tonight by saying things he didn't want to hear, although he didn't say so. He'll get over it, in any case. I'm not going to pretend everything is something it's not, you know.