Interesting Outing

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child and I have been inviting katie to join us for coupon shopping. Mostly she's put us off.....but then I figured it was most likely because she had no money. I knew she'd just got Alex's disability and I started asking her again. I was just about to give up when she took me up on it today.

    The girl had no clue how to shop. She doesn't even know how to just compare store ads / prices for the best deal, let alone anything with coupons. I don't think she's ever bothered to even look at a store least not in this frame of mind.

    easy child took her boys and went off and did her shopping so the boys wouldn't distract us. I took katie with me and explained as I picked things up....showed her the coupon, showed her the sale price, and had her do the math. She was astounded you could use coupons with food stamps. She was equally surprised you could use coupons with sale items. I left out coupon stacking because I didn't want to overwhelm her. I explained that my stock pile lets me be picky about what I buy at what price, which gives me more money to buy other things that I need that may not be on sale or I may not have coupons for. I also explained as she acquires a coupon base to work from she will save more and be able to buy more.

    Thus she helped me do my shopping.

    She was impressed with my .40 cent hamburger helper and my super cheap Ragu, my free protein bars got her attention, as did my free safeguard soap and 4 bottles of folic acid. Her eyes kept getting bigger and bigger.

    Moment of truth was at the checkout. I waited to hand the cashier my kroger card because I wanted katie to see the total without the card or coupons. I nearly blew a gasket.....127.00! I had only 80.00 with me. Now katie thought that 127.00 was pretty good.......until the kroger card brought it down 30.00, then coupons brought it down to where the total was only 66.00. It was a much better day to show her than I'd thought it was going to be. I had a whole cart full of food for 66.00. AND they gave me 2.00 toward my next order.

    Katie nearly fell over. Her mouth hung open. And on the way out to the car she started asking me how to get a sunday they sell it all week?.....ahhh no that's why it's a SUNDAY paper.......are the coupons in it all week......uh no only sunday.

    Her food stamps don't come in until tomorrow. I told her I'd try to get out there to help her shop once I get my latest coupons sorted and see if I have any extras she can use.

    Oh.......and a real kicker. Alex had a new pair of shoes (iron man) he outgrew. She brought them to see if Darrin could use them. And she picked up Aubrey lion king sheet set because she knew that Aubrey is in love with her mommy's simba and the movie. (yard sale)

    Did you see that? She gave something back! omg :faint: Made me smile. In the almost 3 yrs she was here before she never once gave anything to anyone.

    Itty bitty baby steps. But a little bit scarey seeing how far she is behind on normal stuff like this.
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    So glad she really is interested and may be able to catch on. Even if she doesn't coupon at all, checking the store ad and comparing name to store brand will save her a bundle!

    I think they should require ppl getting food stamps to take shopping lessons. Partly because some just have no clue like Katie, and partly to attempt to guilt the ppl who do know but don't care. It really burns me up when I see someone pay for $25 worth of JUNK at 7-11 with food stamps. If they bought it at a regular store they'd get 3X as much. If they bought sale or store brand, they'd get 5X as much

  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I wanna go watch you shop HD.
  4. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Oh, yes, babysteps....I am so glad to see her looking out for her family. Every little bit counts.

    And kudos for you for waiting until she is ready for help and then helping her (with shopping)/

  5. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Wow! Yay for little steps!

    (and YOU of course)
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lisa, we need to make a date for you to take ME shopping.

    I do pretty well, but my couponing is a disaster.

    (Probably because my Grandma's coupon ROOM could have been featured on Hoarders... She wasn't extreme in her couponing. She was superlatively obnoxious about it.)
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Step, we will very soon. I'm working on it. easy child promised to leave me alone the next few days so that I can clean and organize, which has become desperate. I really do look like an episode from hoarders at the moment. Again I've run out of shelf space. husband has to clean me off more from the family room. I've got much of the stock pile organized and put up, but then I went shopping yesterday........ lol husband doesn't realize that I actually add to it each week until the bags are stacked against the wall because there is no where to put them.

    I'm going to have to bring katie over here so that she can learn to navigate the couponers sites as well. It's easier to show that to a person than to try to explain it in my opinion.

    easy child and I are learning to bake bread the old fashion way, as well as egg noodles to dry and store away. Plus the canning. And I'm going to have her here when we do that too. It will be a very social event because you get me and my girls in the kitchen......and we're laughing as much as we're cooking. Katie would have to save up her money to eventually buy the equipment, but it would pay her to do so in the long run.

    And since I used to live in those apartments..........I happen to know that she has an enormous kitchen closet in which to store her own stockpile.

    She was proud to tell me she had paid all her bills and rent as soon as the check came and was trying hard to hoard what money she had left. I did notice she didn't do her usual buy a lot of junk at the store this time, instead she bought 3 chex mixes for .50 cents ea (I gave her the coupon) because she was planning on sandwiches for supper and needed something to go with them.

    Maybe this will build up her self confidence and show her she can be self reliant. Like easy child said, even if she just survives off the couponing each month it will save her a ton of money, even if she does it on an even smaller scale than I do. (which would be pretty small lol )

    I am still amazed at how utterly clueless she was. Years ago I had taught her to buy generic as it's usually cheaper, and took her to aldi's. I could've sworn I taught her to still look at sale prices and to pick up the store brand if it was cheaper than the generic. But evidently that part went over her head. I took great pains to show her that yesterday. I had a coupon for tennesse pride sausage, and it was on sale, BUT the kroger brand was a dollar cheaper, even up against the coupon / sale. I picked up kroger brand.

    This kid has got a lot of domestic lessons to learn. This is stuff I was teaching my own by the age of like 10-11 yrs old and continued through the teen years. I'm thrilled that at the moment she does NOT have a bank account. I want to get her spending under control before we tackle that one.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Baking from scratch is healthier, tastes better, is cheaper... And not for the lazy!!!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    That trip was an eye opener - for both of you! I think you are doing a LOT for katie and her kids, and will do more and more as she permits. Bringing those things over for the other grandkids really is a huge thing. I would not be surprised if she had to hide them not only from Alex and Evan, but also from M. He is the type of greedy grubworm that would go off on her, likely with physical abuse as well as verbal, if he knew about those things. Cause after all, in his mind, y'all are rich and should be giving things to them every minute of every day.

    It is nice to see katie taking a babystep past that, Know what I mean??

    As for making bread, etc.... go find a copy of Bread in Half the Time by Linda West Eckhart and Diane Collingwood B*tts (word I cannot type here - means tushies). It really will show you how to make bread in 90 min. They also have 2 other great books - Dessert in Half the Time and Cakes in Half the Time. they honestly cut a LOT of time out of baking by using the food processor and microwave. If you don't have a food processor it isn't a big deal. You go back to hand kneading for bread, but the time is the only realy problem (takes longer with no food proc for breads).

    The reviews on the bread book are incredible. If you have a bread machine it has a section for that. I have NEVER had a recipe not work unless I did something wrong. Not out of any of the 3 books. Here is the link to the bread book on amazon: You could get it via the amazonmarketplace (where it says new from $$, used from $$, click there and it will show you options to buy from people other than amazon thru amazon - you get protection that it is what it says it is this way.) Also check other online book sites like to see the best price. I gave copies of these books as Christmas gifts (bought used through amazon) and the people I gave them to have said they can't find a recipe that doesn't work either.

    The other thing that might really help katie is to make some of your own mixes for foods. yes, with couponing you CAN get a lot of things cheaper than making the item or a mix for the item. The reason it might help katie is taht it would be hands-on work in the kitchen, taking the mystery out of a lot of things, and she would have a result that she could take home as reinforcement. Just learning the right way to measure things could be a huge help and money saver, Know what I mean?? One trick to making mixes is that you have to measure out a LOT of cups of ingredients. The liquid measuring cups just don't work well as they cannot be leveled with-o packing down the contents. So if you need 10 cups, put out 10 beans or m&ms or raisins. After each cup either eat the raisin/m&m or move it into a cup. That way it is a LOT harder to get off track.

    Anyway, I have mixes for a LOT of things. I can send a recipe or two via pm if you want. There is a bread mix that makes homemade bread very easy.

    Do either easy child or nichole have a sam's card? If so, have them buy your yeast there. You get 2 POUNDS for under $6. It comes in 2 one-poiund packages and keeps well in the freezer after opening. We got one because even giving one whole bag away saved us a ton of money.

    Also keep an eye out for a bread machine at garage sales and back to school sales. With your health issues, it might be very helpful to use one.

    Let me know if you want a recipe or two for homemade mixes and I will pm them. Later, after she is a bit less intimidated by cooking, etc...
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Terrific post. I hope it "triggered" some future actions. Fingers crossed. DDD
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yes it is. And I'm hoping to see it continue.

    As for the bread making and baking..........we're doing it the old fashion way for a reason, so that we know how and to get good at it. If it's too much for me, I can always pick up a bread maker. Same with the cake mixes ect. easy child made the most divine totally from scratch cake for Nichole's baby shower........and omg it tastes nothing like the mixes you get in the store. She had to hide it from me or I'd have gained 50 lbs, and I'm not that big on sweets. lol

    easy child and I share a Sam's membership and she just mentioned to me about the yeast the other day. Good to know it stays good in the freezer though cuz I'd never have thought of it. We're planning a prospective trip next week, which I may see if katie would like to tag along.

    As I drag her out of the house, away from moron man, I see a more "normalish" version of katie. I see someone trying hard to be part of the social aspect of the family and to participate. She has very poor social skills. But she is trying. Yesterday she removed brandon from his carseat and held his hand in the parking lot and into the store. I know that seems such a teeny little thing...and so unimportant, but for her? HUGE ENORMOUS! And I was so thrilled brandon didn't pitch a fit that this virtual "stranger" of an aunt did so. (you know how 2 yr olds can be) It's like last time when she helped me get the wheelchair in and out of the car for easy child. To other people that seems like such stupid things to smile about, or even be hopeful about........But for this girl it is a major step in the right direction. It's sad that I haven't seen her interact this way with family members since she was a kid.

    But if I don't poke and prod and drag her away from moron man.........she back slides back into old behavior and thinking patterns. So, it looks like I'm going to have to push, prod, and drag until she feels comfortable and trust in the family again. I'll have to try not to give her time in between to back slide.

    Friday I take her to get the clothes at the fair grounds. She understands that now. She's ok with it. I'm going to make a day of it. Fairgrounds at day at Nana's after........and I'll be cutting the boys hair then too, then a nice dinner before I take them home. Saturday I'll get Kayla to work in the garden with me.

    But will someone please tell me wth the summer went?? These kids start school the 15th. omg 8 wks of caring for easy child flew by and suddenly the summer is almost gone and I didn't get to do any of the stuff I planned to do with grandkids this summer. :(
  12. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Just to let you know, the times I've tried to make yeast breads in hot weather were a complete failure.

    I posted a contest on your FB.
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Awesome that she was finally open!!! I think that is the HARDEST thing about difficult children - they miss out on the practical stuff. You know the stuff we all try to teach them but they as difficult children are too busy on a tangent, or hating the world, or running away, or in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to get it. And I really have a beef with Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s not showing the kids how to function in the world we live in. Most of the kids have to be on level a million to get that help! Which we all know how that works out.

    Happy, happy that she gave and received today............small steps, although BIG.
  14. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hmm, whenever I make yeast bread in COLD weather I have problems. Hot? Rises too fast. So if I'm in a hurry, I set it in the sun...

    I love fresh bread. BFF gave me a book 2 Christmases ago and I have the basic recipe almost memorized.
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I love my bread maker. I no longer have enough strength in my hands to knead the dough. Since it has a dough setting, I can let the machine do the kneading and rising thing, then bake it in the over. Great for cinnamon rolls, and I have a pizza dough recipe I plan to try if it ever cools off enough to turn the oven back on.
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Too bad you don't live closer, our library is hosting a free one hour class on extreme couponing this evening.
  17. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    That's great that you showed her. Some people have to just see, not listen. Wow, isn't saving money so easy? So many people don't do one girlfriend never can understand, and frequently asks me where I get the coupons- I tell her at least once a month! husband will never use a coupon, I get mad at him when he pays full price for stuff. But he is amazed at how much I save.
    I hope she picks up some important coupon tips from you, can you keep taking her? She'll probably need a lot of help keeping up with it until it's instilled in her brain.
  18. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Step, I just love this phrase "superlatively obnoxious". I am going to remember that for future reference. LOL.

    Not using coupons is like not taking free money. I think of it like company matching on 401K's. It's foolish to not use them but the extreme couponing is beyond me. I think it has to be a bit of an obsession or it is overwhelming. They definitely stretch a food dollar but you have to have the time, gas to go from store to store and a lot of preplanning to make it work.
    HD every practical skill will help pull her out of the darkness of ignorance that she has been living in for years. Good for you.
  19. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I was looking for something that made "extreme" look simple...
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I need that couponing class because I must have some form of learning disability when it comes to couponing. I simply come out worse for the wear. It never fails that I seem to pay more when using them. I have attempted to do exactly what star has told me of making a list of the only things I really use and only looking for coupons for those things and then I rarely find coupons for them. Though last night I did get catilinas for buy 2 get 1 free on Ben and Jerry's ice cream! (They were having a relatively decent sale on it at Food Lion and I bought two as a treat so I might go back today and get 3 more this weekend. Normally its like 5 bucks or more and its on sale for $3.99)