buddy
New Member
Reading some of the posts here at the very least sure makes life with a challenging child feel less lonely. Sometimes I watch Dr. Phil and think, MR.....you DONT have a clue. I am a single mom to a great kid who has multiple challenges and the most difficult of them is his verbal and physical aggression. He is adopted (age 2.10) after having brain surgery while in foster care at the age of 2.3. He has an Autism diagnosis (which would be likely even without the brain injury given other bio siblings also are on the spectrum). He is very verbal but not conversational. He keeps conversations going by asking constant questions even if they are pure nonsense. He is 14 now but small for his age, but as most of you probably know, size doesn't mean he can't do a lot of damage to me and our house/possessions. He is so desperate to be a typical kid who can go and play with the other kids but he doesn't have a clue. I have been trying to help him join an especially accepting group of kids in our town home complex, but last Saturday was so sad. A game started to include tackling eachother which was too arousing for him (he is not even in group sp. ed. gym class...) so I tried to be proactive and get him to come home at which point he kicked and hit me. I went to get another parent to help me and by the time we returned he was fighting in a panic with several of the kids...swearing and falling apart. He ran into the woods and we talked to the other kids to calm things down. Kids who didn't know of his issues felt badly (so at least they were trying to make it better) and two went into the wooded area he had run to hide in. He nearly never cries but he was so upset. It took 45 minutes of kids talking to him...his asking the kids he hurt to come in so he could say sorry, etc...before he came out. I hurt for him but also get naturally frustrated with being hit and hurt over and over. We have amazing doctors and they found he is having seizures that contribute to the outbursts and medications for that are helping with other medications. He has an enzyme issue and can't process many drugs that might otherwise have been helpful. For the past few years we have worked hard with his school and they have been willing to learn (they are good at the autism piece but not great with brain injury symptoms. I bring in our private home support folks who have done a great job educating them and now even school administrators advocate for him (recently told the bus company they basically had to suck it up and drive him, he is not a rude child he is a brain injured chlid...I was impressed). All of the teams talk to eachother and really have been good about using the same methods and language with him. HE HATES that in a way...haha. He will say "even my doctor tells me I am in the yellow zone and have to be in the green zone!" In the end he always does better with that consistency.
I have had to stop working in Special Education. settings (any setting actually) as a speech language pathologist because of the frequent need to attend to him throughout the weeks. We are lucky he has a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) waiver and I can receive a small salary to be a paid parent provider. It is a huge life style change but gotta do what we gotta do, right? It is very scary sometimes. I worry often for him and wonder where he will be in the future. He could do so much if he can mature and learn enough to control his verbal and physical outbursts. Not to mention, if he is as oppositional with a boss as he is with his teachers and me then he will have a rough time of it.
Lately he has started horseback riding (therapeutic) and a huge shift in his ability to connect with other kids has happened. Still obviously not ready for larger groups and games with rules, but riding bikes and swimming with friends has happened for the first time in 14 years! No matter how good his team is though, of course there is no rest when it comes to monitoring and advocating when things are not going well. The difference with this team is they respond quickly and we have an amazing relationship. He IS a hard kid but he is a deserving kid.
a procedural question? I can't seem to save my signature. I also do not understand how in some sections you can't start a new thread....is my computer glitchy?
Thank you kindly,
Buddy- age 47, single adoptive mom to son (home at age 2 adopted at age 3). Speech Lang. Path. taking time off to parent difficult child.
difficult child-age 14, Autism, Temporal Lobe seizures, Acquired Brain Injury, Attachment Issues (not unattached but insecure). Symptoms: extreme anxiety, adhd-like, impulsive, verbal and physical outbursts, rages at times, developmentallydelayed (borderline IQ but socially very delayed), becomming a little depressed over identity/self esteem issues....hates having special needs and not being able to do all the things other kids can do.
I have had to stop working in Special Education. settings (any setting actually) as a speech language pathologist because of the frequent need to attend to him throughout the weeks. We are lucky he has a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) waiver and I can receive a small salary to be a paid parent provider. It is a huge life style change but gotta do what we gotta do, right? It is very scary sometimes. I worry often for him and wonder where he will be in the future. He could do so much if he can mature and learn enough to control his verbal and physical outbursts. Not to mention, if he is as oppositional with a boss as he is with his teachers and me then he will have a rough time of it.
Lately he has started horseback riding (therapeutic) and a huge shift in his ability to connect with other kids has happened. Still obviously not ready for larger groups and games with rules, but riding bikes and swimming with friends has happened for the first time in 14 years! No matter how good his team is though, of course there is no rest when it comes to monitoring and advocating when things are not going well. The difference with this team is they respond quickly and we have an amazing relationship. He IS a hard kid but he is a deserving kid.
a procedural question? I can't seem to save my signature. I also do not understand how in some sections you can't start a new thread....is my computer glitchy?
Thank you kindly,
Buddy- age 47, single adoptive mom to son (home at age 2 adopted at age 3). Speech Lang. Path. taking time off to parent difficult child.
difficult child-age 14, Autism, Temporal Lobe seizures, Acquired Brain Injury, Attachment Issues (not unattached but insecure). Symptoms: extreme anxiety, adhd-like, impulsive, verbal and physical outbursts, rages at times, developmentallydelayed (borderline IQ but socially very delayed), becomming a little depressed over identity/self esteem issues....hates having special needs and not being able to do all the things other kids can do.