FLmommyof2
New Member
I have been lurking for a while now. I am a stay at home mom of two. My 5 year old son was recently diagnosed by a psychologist with Aspergers Syndrome/ADD. I dont know where to start or how to begin, but I definitely could use some help and suggestions, so I will start at the beginning. I know there are many of you that are going through the same things I am going through. This is going to be long, but I figure if I am thorough, maybe someone else has also had the same experiences and can offer some suggestions. Our son has always been a difficult child. I remember as an infant there were times he would become frustrated and pull my hair as hard as he could. He has always been very aggressive with other children and even adults. I would take him to story time at the library and he would go up and hit or push other children for no reason. As he got older he continued to hit other children and even grownups for no reason at all. Some told me it was just a boy thing, or it was a phase, not to worry. When he was 2 ½ his little sister was born. He was very jealous and would pinch her for no reason. I could never leave them in the same room alone. I had to lock myself and the baby in the bathroom when I showered for fear that he would hurt her. About this time I started taking our son to Gymboree. While he seemed to enjoy it, he was still more aggressive than other children, had a hard time playing and I was constantly having to discipline him. I tried to enroll him into a preschool when he was three because I thought that the time away from mommy and his baby sister would be good for him and give him the chance to meet other children and have someone to play with. This was the eye-opener; I always thought that there was something different about our son, but I guess I was just hoping it was a phase and would go away. He was in school for two weeks and had to be removed. He was in a classroom of only eight children and he was very defiant with the teacher. He would hide under a table or in a cupboard during circle time; he would not participate in the activities. If he was disciplined he would act our by screaming at the top of his lungs and trying to bite and hit his teacher. I was called everyday by the administrator to come and get him because causing such disruption in the classroom. I was emotionally drained; I would pick him up from school and just cry and cry. I really thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I talked to my pediatrician and he recommended a childrens neurologist. We made an appointment, but the wait was about 3 months. I kept my son at home with me. After the experience we had with the preschool I was not going to put myself through that again. Even though there were some difficult times at home, they never got as bad as they did when he was in that school. I joined a MOMs club in my area, so the children could have some play dates and get some socialization. When my son finally went to the childrens neurologist she said after 45 minutes that she suspected he had ADHD/ODD. She recommended us to see a child psychologist. We moved out of the area soon after this and I had to wait 90 days for our new insurance to kick in. I decided to make an appointment with another childrens neurologist and after seeing him for 45 minutes he said that he did not see anything neurologically wrong with my son and he thinks it is psychological and behavioral. He gave me a long list of psychiatrists in the area and we made an appointment. This was the worst appointment yet. My son began to act the way he did at school. The doctor asked him to pick up some toys in a very stern tone. He would not do it and it became very ugly from there. She held him down and told him, Do you know where children who behave like this go? They have special places and they give shots. I know my sons behavior was out of control, but I dont feel that her comments were at all appropriate. She recommended a psychologist for behavior therapy. My husband and I are now doing some behavior therapy classes for parents. Meanwhile my son is seeing another psychologist one on one. This is the doctor that diagnosed him with Aspergers/ADD. I am just starting to understand his disorder. My son has improved in some areas. He now loves to play with his sister, most of the times they are like best friends. He does really well with people he knows, our family, family friends and some of the neighbors that have children, but he is very awkward around people he does not know. If a grown up he does not know speaks to him he will turn his head away and act like he does not hear them. He will growl at people sometimes. He is less aggressive with children and adults, but sometimes it is still hard for him to play and make friends. He is getting a little better at playing with his toys and pretending. He does not do well if he is away from us or if he is in an uncomfortable or new environment. He does not show very much empathy for others. If he is playing with his sister and she takes something from him he will sometimes hit her, I will talk to him about what just happened and then I will send him to his room to think about his actions. He comes out and acts as if nothing ever happened. I have decided to home school him, but I am not sure if it is the right choice. I am enjoying it most of the time, and he is doing well, better than he would b doing at school. He knows just about every animal that exists and such detailed facts about each one. He is infatuated with animals and dinosaurs. These are actually the only toys he will play with or seems interested in. My son is receiving one on one therapy, I am not sure if this is helping or what they are actually doing. I am so confused. I think I am doing what is right for my child, but I know he probably could use some more time with other children, but I dont want him to go to school and feel the way he felt before. I dont want him to be labeled and teased. I dont think I can handle it. His doctor has mentioned an evaluation to try to get him placed in a special education setting. I dont know what to do. For those of you with children with Aspergers does it get any better? What kinds of things do you do to socialize your children? Are they in school? The doctors want to get him in a school setting, so he will be socialized, but is that going to be good for him. We have been trying to go to church on and put him in the childrens church during the sermon, but this has been a flop. The last time we tried we got called in because he was getting aggressive with his teacher. We talked to him about it and he said that he did not want to go outside and she was telling him he had to go. I dont see him functioning in a school setting. He just looses it when another adult tries to tell him to do something or not to do something. So now we are not able to go to church because they will not allow him in there if he behaves this way. I honestly dont know what to do. I dont know if I should see a different kind of doctor. I am starting to feel like I am going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!